- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
Today is my last day as a girlfriend (at least for a long while, I hope lol)!! Tomorrow, my bf is going to propose during a day filled with surprised activities he came up with (we picked the date together after many conversations about all this traditional engagement process). As a French Canadian, usually back home on the East Coast (we live in Ontario now) couples just talk about getting engaged and the woman is totally part of the process, no surprise or shut up thing going on lol My parents got engaged by talking about it, and that was 42 years ago! So did most of my extended family. My bf is English Canadian from the West Coast, so of course he was really surprised when I told him all that (I have replied to many posts with part of my story and my opinion on this topic lol).
But I feel that even though it has been a difficult six months since I first introduced the topic (he wasn’t ready then, everyone was telling me not to talk about it, etc), I now feel that we have grown so much as a couple 🙂 We had many talks over the last months, and some arguments until 2am (lol) and I really appreciate how he came to listen to me and see my point about me wanting to participate to this huge decision. I realized how deep rooted this official proposal tradition was when he told me that his sister (who is extremely independant and travel alone all over the world, etc) was extremely surprised that I knew about the date of the proposal and had picked my ring, etc. When I expressed my surprise about her reaction to my bf, he replied :”She hasn’t thought it through, and neither had I a few months ago. Now I have, and I find it just makes sense that you’re involved in the process.”
So to all the waiting bees out there, I know sometimes everyone seems to agree that we women should shut up about such an important decision, but if you really want to discuss it with your bf, I say go ahead. Don’t give up. If you expose your points and explain why you want to talk about it, ultimately, most guys will listen 🙂 If you want to keep it a surprise, by all means do!! I am just talking to those bees out there who are sad (I was one of them) and who don’t feel comfortable to be excluded from a life changing decision that affects both members of their couple.
That said, I want to thank the bees SOOOO much for the support, the encouragements, the opinions, the questions, the debates, and overall for being great girlfriends 🙂 I am so happy I found this forum, especially since I recently moved to a new city where I don’t know many people, and you bees are tremendous people, and I will keep coming on the website for wedding ideas and to participate to the wonderful debates that are going on.
Live long and prosper to all of us!! 🙂