(Closed) Tonight I saw myself for the ugly monster I really am

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
1267 posts
Bumble bee

That’s really great!  I don’t think men are super immature or dim witted and need reminders or anything and I know from experience that lots of them start to want to get married around their early thirties.  He’s not going to ‘forget’ things that are important to you, like that you want to be married and have a family one day, you know?  It’s not true for all of them, obviously and there are exceptions – like I have no biological clock whatsover and I’m 36, lol!  I think you are doing the exact right thing! 

No one wants to be pressured into stuff and more importantly, no one wants someone that talks constantly about one thing – like the video games!  Oh boy, I know lots of people can relate to THAT one, lol.  Your guy sounds super self aware and he also sounds like he is totally in tune with you – he was able to come to you and tell you he isn’t ready and he feels pressure – that’s pretty huge, as far as I’m concerned.  Lots of guys (or girls) would be scared to have that talk in fear that their SO would get mad or defensive.  He must think you’re one pretty cool chick to feel comfortable enough to go to you with that info. 🙂

 

Post # 18
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m going to agree with the others who are saying Good For You! Seriously I’m proud of you. It takes a big person to admit their mistakes. I’ve found it odd how so many women are on this site that aren’t even engaged and they keep talking about waiting for it to happen. I just don’t get it. Aren’t you happy with your SO the way things are? If you aren’t then well marriage isn’t going to make it any better. My Fiance and I have been together for just over 3yrs now. We got engaged in MAY and honestly it was a total shock. I knew from the moment we moved into gether that he was commited and I was happy with that. I love him so much. I could picture us spending the rest of our lives together, but I never really pictured our wedding. I guess that’s because I’ve never been that wedding planner girl and we’re both pretty low key people. I’m super excited that we are getting married next September, but I honestly would have been perfectly fine with us never getting married and just being together for the rest of our lives. Our love is enough. I don’t need a ring or a piece of paper to tell me he’s my soul mate. I’m glad you’re realizing the same thing. All the best to you and your man!

Post # 19
Member
1726 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Sasha2011: You made some great points!

YL, can you remind me/us how old you two are and how long you have been together, if you feel comfortable sharing?

Post # 21
Member
1726 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Ohh okay. I would definitely agree that this is great then! He’s already looking forward to getting married in a few years but wants to wait until the timing is right. Perfect!! I’m glad you are feeling so much better. Enjoy this time in your relationship! It won’t be long before you’ll just be a boring ol’ married couple. Haha!! 😛

Post # 22
Member
5107 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m so proud of you for making this realization, but you are NOT and ugly monster! Of course it wouldn’t have been fun for him to listen to, but he stayed with you and loves you and clearly plans on being married to you someday, and THAT does not make you an ugly monster <3

Post # 23
Member
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I wish a lot more women would see the pressure they put of their bf’s to get married. If you’re in love, have the same values and beliefs, have great communication and see a future with each other to the point of getting married leave it at that. Use the time you spend together continuing to learn about each other and let your love grow. If the relationship reaches a certain point where the next step should be taken talk to your bf and share your desire. If he says he’s not ready then it’s YOU that should either break up with him and find a man who wants to get married now or let him know love him and will wait until he’s ready. Don’t bring up the subject of marriage, throw the wedding magazines away, be truly happy when your younger cousin who’s been dating her bf for 6 months gets engaged and focus on yourself. Sometimes the best things in life happen when you don’t push it.

How would you feel if your bf pressured you to have a baby when you wern’t ready? One day you want children, maybe in a few years but not now. He watches all the TLC baby shows, reads baby magazines, has a floor plan for the nursery sketched out, gets bummed out when his guy friends tell him that they’re expecting a baby and is constantlt dropping hints about wanting a baby. Does this make you jump up and down and say “Yes, yes, yes…I want a baby NOW”??

Post # 24
Member
11231 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

This thread is 2 years olddddddddddddddddddd

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