Post # 1
last night i felt something was up, i called my fiance at 800 and he was at a steakhouse. he drives on the road and currently is in texas. i called at 1000 wondering what on earth is he doing. met up with another driver and still eating…. still by 1100 i said are you kiding me what are you still up to just having another beer. (something im not okay with while on the road “working”) by 1145 i asked him to leave the steakhouse and get outside to talk to me, i hear another girl voice state “hes not listening to you” which he states is the guy hes with girlfriend which is in fact a girl he meets up with at the restaurant and screws while on the road.
she said one more comment which i forget. and i asked him to leave that is he really going to jeopardise our relatiohsip for another truck driver and his f buddy.
by 1200 we were screaming at eachother. and for some reason i thought to scheck his messages. and thats when my jaw hits the ground. “hey Fiance just wanted to see if we are meeting up with those girls tonight at the bar let me know” now this guy is apprently another guy at the bar and Fiance states he sat with 1girl and his other guy he met and these girls where separate with the guy he gave his number to. he states he ignored the call which i see bc when i went to scheck it was a new voicemail. but he didnt call me until 0300 stated he was tired of fighting and went to bed and didnt go out with and girls he just sat at the restuarant and eat with the couple whatever they are.
my argument… why did you give your number to a guy in texas to call you to go out with girls
why did you let another girl pipe into our relationship a and say nothing when she yelled into the phone hes not listeneing… why did you not just leave the situation when i asked, why are you not working and going to bed when you have 2000 miles to drive tomorrow and out drinking at a steakhouse. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
im lost. im alone. he states he did nothing wrong he didnt go out to the bar after eating. he thinks yes i messeed up but i just have to drop it. HOW DO YOU GET OTHER THIS, HOW CAN I BE OKAY WITH THIS OR MOVE ON? WE HAVE A HOUSE, DOGS, A WEDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FEEL NO TRUST. AND SO MUCH ANGER
Post # 3
First, I’m really sorry about all this. But I’m really confused, too – how did you check his phone if he had it with him? Has he been home in the meantime?
I definitely think he should have addressed the girl yelling into the phone. That’s just rude no matter who she is.
How long has he been in Texas? Did he meet this guy AT a truck stop – or previously, and they met up a second time? I’m sorry, I don’t mean to come off as rude or anything, I’m just trying to understand so I can try to help. :/
Post # 4
i know his voicemail password so i caleed his number and since he ignored 15 hpeons calls i finally check his voicemail and heard the message. he said that he was alone and the other truck driver seen him sitting another and figured he was the other truck parked outside then all i know is some girl ended up at the table who was “with the truck driver” so far ive heard shes his gf, shes the girl he meets in texas when he goes there, and shes a cop. i dont think hes had time to give me anything else for excuses. my comment is what kind of person is she thinking that this guy she dosent even know is on the phone with his fiance and she yells out “hes not listening to you” first he said she not talking to you and imjust like so another lie???? then he stoped denying she was piping in on me being upset with fiance and asking him to leave and him stating its okay, dont worry. ill call you in ten…. and that never happened.
Post # 5
oh no =( I’d be really upset. I’m probably not the best person to give you advice in this situation, because I’m awfully impulsive, and I get upset really easily. I would be the one calling a million times until he turns his phone off (which has happened). The thing that would probably work the best would just be to wait a little while and try once more before you go to sleep. There’s unfortunately not much you can do at this point, I don’t think. I’m so sorry though he should have at least stepped outside to chat with you.
Post # 6
First of all, you CAN move on, and in my opinion, you should. I know that I don’t know all the details of your relationship, but if there’s not trust nor respect (which is how I perceive his behavior toward you), then the relationship is not healthy. It also seems like there’s some major dishonesty, or at the very least, lack of openness (which is just another form of lying, in my opinion).
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking there’s no way out because you’re too invested and scared that you could never again find something like what you have now. I felt that way once before, too, and now I’m in the best relationship of my life with my fiance who truly loves me like I deserve. I truly believe the quote, “Losing the future was the best thing that ever happened to me.”
This could be your sign.
Post # 7
I think if you have to worry about this and you have this gut feeling, then it says something about your relationship. I know that even if my boyfriend would have dinner with a girl or go out for drinks while away, nothing would happen! I’ve dated guys in the past where I haven’t had that security and I’m glad that those relationships are over. You should be able to trust your SO.
Post # 8
I agree with bookworm88…I have had a previous relationship where I was so insecure that if he looked at another girl I would think he was going to cheat because he never gave me that security. I can trust my Fiance now to do anything. You may not have noticed it before, but there is usually a little feeling in the pit of your stomach and you just know it’s not right. Whenever someone misbehaves and then tries to turn it around on you and say you did something wrong, that is a red flag.
Post # 9
@bookworm88: I’m going to play defense here. Some women are like you and able to be that way. Others have emotional issues brought upon by their pasts, and cannot get over this so easily. Nobody knows what anyone is going to do- I trust my husband. Do I trust other girls I don’t know? No. And that’s a big thing- I think if she actually knew this girl she wouldn’t be so upset. From what she described it seems really fishy. He could easily be lying (hopefully he’s not). If any girl came up to my husband and started flirting with him/interrupting our conversations, I would be angry. Not at him- there’s not much he can do, but at the situation. And it sounds like her Fiance had control over the situation, could have left or said something to the girl, but didn’t. That’s what’s so wrong about this.