(Closed) Tons of “no’s”

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1663 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Awww!  Give it some more time– you are still waiting for 100 people to respond!  If you do get a lot of no’s from that crowd, are there others you want to invite?  There’s still lots of time before your wedding, if you wanted to send B-list invites.

Post # 4
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Legallyblondiebride:  Take a deep breath.  You’ll find more yes responses will come, there are times when the no responses seem to all come at once.  And you’ll probably find that a few no replies will call that things have changed and they’re coming.  You’ll have more than 50 out of the 200.  Hang in there. 

Post # 5
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I was just reading through an email a friend sent me not too long ago about her wedding… she invited 350, 160 said yes they’d come, and 110 showed up.  But you see on the boards that some girls have nearly 100% attendance.  You just never know!!  But if there are less people, that’s less drama and it’s more intimate, so not necessarily a bad thing.

Post # 7
46419 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Please remember that it’s also not always about whether or not they want to attend your wedding. The economy has hit many people really hard, and even those who haven’t lost their jobs, are having to cut back.

Many have lost much of their life savings in investments, their homes have lost value etc etc etc, so committing to attending a wedding is a huge expense for many.

Focus on those who can make it and perhaps what you’ll be able to do with the money you save. Honeymoon or house anyone? Or perhaps you can schedule a  visit on your first anniversary to friends and family who couldn’t make it to the wedding.

Post # 8
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012


Well said, as I’ll be in that boat in a few months myself.  We had a tough decision to make. Marry in Boston where we both live, where my family lives, but his doesnt – or marry in South Dakota, where neither of us have ever lived, but most of his family does.  Either way, there will be a lot of people who simply cant afford to come, as there are no major airports in South Dakota – so flying to or from there is usually no cheaper than 5 or 6 hundred bucks.

It is disappointing, but there isn’t a whole lot you can do. As a PP mentioned, this gives you room for a “B List” if there were friends who you’d really like to come, but didn’t originally have room for.

I know its hard, but try not to take it personally…its a huge expense.

Post # 9
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Maybe those from out of state who haven’t responded are still seeing if they can make arrangements to come and don’t want to respond until they know for sure one way or another? That stuff takes a little time to sort out. Not everyone springs into action when they get a Save the Date card.

Post # 10
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

It happens. Summer is a busy time for most people, and many of them probably (rightfully) put their own vacations and trips ahead of attending someone else’s wedding. And like PP’s mentioned – with the economy, people are going to have to pick and choose what they attend.

Post # 11
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Just seconding what others have said…weddings are very expensive for guests, and even beyond the money there are a lot of factors that make attending difficult. When people have to travel long distances, those factors are multiplied. It’s hard not to take it personally (I found out last night a really close friend from law school wouldn’t be coming and I actually cried). But it really isn’t personal. And as PP noted, you now have B-list room. July is far enough away that it’s not like B-listers are going to feel like a last-minute invite. When is your response-by date? And how close are you to your venue minimum?


Post # 12
11167 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

We are having a Friday wedding so we expected more no’s than usual and ended up with 105 adults about of 165 invited. While we are sad that more people aren’t coming we are thirlled at the deduction in the overall budget (we take cuts where we can!).

Don’t fret about the no’s, some people just can’t and/or won’t be able to come.

The topic ‘Tons of “no’s”’ is closed to new replies.

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