(Closed) Too busy to plan a wedding?!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I work a night shift so I find a lot of my non-computer related things get done at night (I work in a group home so it just consists of sitting there and doing 30 minute checks).  On Saturday nights when my fiance goes to bed early to get up for an early Sunday shift and I have to get back into the night shift mode, I do a lot of computer related stuff.  Other than that I just do it when I find time.  I don’t have the responsibility of a daughter though and if I lived nearer to my family I guarantee it’d be harder for me to find time.  

Post # 4
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

There are weeks when I work 70 hours (luckily some weeks are less busy).  I think the busier you are, the more you focus of the few details of your wedding that really matter to you, and you let the rest slide.  Would I love adorable signage at my reception, and cute programs, and DIY invites?  Sure.  But unless I forgo sleep or the gym or precious time with my Fiance, they just aren’t going to happen, and that’s okay.  My wedding is going to be wonderful, and I’ll get the stuff that NEEDs to get done done.

Also, if you are willing to let go of a lot of control, you can delegate tasks to people.  But DO NOT do this if you must control every detail…if that is the case, then delegating will end up taking more time and causing more stress than just doing it yourself.  For example, I’m letting my aunt do favor tags.  They won’t be my style, but they’ll be done and I’ll appreciate her stamp on the wedding.  My Future Mother-In-Law is picking out flower girl dresses.  They will be overly cutesy (more so than if I picked them out) and they’ll be more expensive than I think is reasonable (but Future Sister-In-Law will be the buying them and she and Future Mother-In-Law will be in cahoots), but it means I don’t have to mess with it, and so I’m willing to let it go.  However, the things that REALLY matter to me (wine list, food) I’m managing myself.

Congrats on the job and good luck with everything.

Post # 5
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@nmsoonerbride: I agree that when you are busy you focus on the elements that really matter to you. There are a lot of things that we just never entertained doing because we don’t have the time to plan it or make it. That was fine though, because we really made time for the things we cared the most about. I made some “low stress” decisions like having my BMs pick out their own dresses and I picked my own dress quite quickly.

I tried to get lots of things done at times when I did have some free time. My fiance also has done a TON…often I would have an idea for something and he would follow through it with by calling people, setting up meetings, etc.

We also gave ourselves a year to plan the wedding. Most was done in the first 6 months. We have friends and family helping us with many things which helps because we don’t need to have lots of meetings with vendors to get things set up. Email is probably the most wonderful thing in the world for the time crunched…only takes a few minutes to follow up on things!

Post # 7
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

You guys are making me feel so much better. My FH just decided that his parents are hosting our welcome dinner and that his mom should plan it. Apparently, I said that at some point. Well, it’s entirely possible that I did, but I don’t remember saying it. I just decided to roll with it because I *am* too busy and I frankly don’t give two hoots about the welcome dinner as long as there is a) enough food for the vegetarians, and b) a seat for everyone. It’ll probably be even nicer if they plan it. So I just gave her the details and told her to run with it. Here’s hoping I don’t have to think about it until that evening!

The vows, however, I refuse to compromise on.

Post # 8
Member
14402 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I haven’t been fitting it in at all!  I found a venue in Aug (right before I bought my house) and booked it.  That’s it.  I got a dress on a whim at the Running of the Brides event, but I’m not 100% satisfied, but haven’t had time to go try on any other, no photograher, all these diy ideas that just remain ideas… ahhh! 

Post # 9
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Definitely work on simplifying!  At the time of my first wedding, I was working full-time and going to law school ¾ time.  We therefore made the wedding as simple as possible.  The ceremony was in a synagogue, so the chuppah, etc. was already there.  The reception was a luncheon in a restaurant we took over for the occasion.  That way, the food, alcohol, linens, centerpieces, etc. were all taken care of by one vendor.  We figured they knew what they were doing, and really didn’t bother with details like exactly what the centerpieces would look like.  We didn’t have music or dancing.  There was no DIY at all.

Ultimately, getting married is important, but the details of the wedding are not–especially compared with the importance of being there for your daughter and making a living.

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