(Closed) Too early?

posted 4 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I personally wouldn’t start planning until I get a ring, but I know a lot of people on here do so. 

It’s one thing to save ideas and pinterest boards and all that, but actually venue searching/vendor searching at this point is pointless, especially since you’re not sure when it’s going to happen. 

Post # 3
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2018

It sounds like you are engaged- you just haven’t set a date. If he is encouraging you to plan, I’m sur ehe expects you to set a date… and you’ll get the ring some time between now and that date.

Post # 4
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I started planning without the ring.  My Fiance and I had been together 7 years at the time and we knew we were going to get married in 2018 (he graduated from law school in 2016 and that gave him a year to get a ring).  There were no doubts between us about our timeline.  So when I was casually looking at venues and fell in love with one I showed him.  And he fell in love with it too.  I got some information on the venue and found out it books really far in advance (like 18 months minimum!)  So he said go ahead and book it.  We had a wedding date set 7 months before he actually proposed.  And in those 7 months of waiting I started planning and booking the big stuff.  He went with me to all of the meetings with vendors.  We just decided that it was the financially smart decision because we could start paying on things.  We also had the top choice for all of our vendors because no one else was booking as far out as we were.  I don’t think it’s a big deal to start planning as long as you are both on the same page.

Post # 5
Member
625 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I think it’s perfectly fine to start doing some research and/or getting ideas of what you like and would want, but I myself would not make any concrete plans such as booking a venue and vendors, buying a dress, etc. until I was formally engaged. 

Post # 6
Member
7974 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

you agreed to get married next summer.  isn’t that technically engaged, even if he still wants to do an official proposal.

i went to a bridal expo (my mom had to go to this one) and started venue researching before the official proposal.  we agreed we wanted to get married, knew when (a short engagement).  then my ring was delayed.  DH wanted to do the offical proposal and i wanted to get started on things, i didnt care about the proposal.  so when he offically proposed, i had venue appointments lined up already for the next week.  my ring was delayed even more (the jewelers wife had passed away) and didn’t get it until a few weeks later.

Post # 9
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

View original reply
prepared2bee :  Guests/bridal party can change a ton in 2 years. I wouldn’t start planning that out right now. 

Post # 10
Member
2965 posts
Sugar bee

I had an appointment with potential venues before we go engaged. We picked an official venue before we got engaged. I’m now engaged and the wedding is almost here! If you trust your SO to come through on his word, then there should be no issues. Especially if you’re planning a short engagement, it doesn’t hurt to get started. The one thing I wouldn’t do is tell anyone that you’re planning or include your parents (if they’ll be involved in any way, especially financially) in the planning. I did, and it was fine, but I know for a lot of people it wouldn’t be, and I know that my closest friends and family weren’t as “crazy excited” when I got engaged, because it wasn’t news to them at that point. They were still excited, but you know I deflated a little of that by talking about it leading up to the proposal.

Post # 11
Member
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Well, there is no formal or official engagment, so once you agree to be married, I don’t see any reason not to start planning — and it seems like you already have. So carry on!

Post # 12
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee

I think it’s fine to start planning general stuff. It is good to plan who you want to ask to be in the wedding party but I would not actually ask until way down the road. 

I started planning before I got engaged. We only have a 9 month engagement and I wanted more time to plan so we found the venue/ set the date before he proposed. I don’t see the point of waiting until the formality of the ring unless you plan to have a super long engagement anyway OR you need the ring to know your guy is serious and gonna keep his word about marriage (and clearly that is not true for you). 

Have fun! I can tell you I am glad I started early because wedding planning is a lot of work lol. 

Post # 14
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
prepared2bee :  I’m a bit confused on the timeline. WHEN did you both agree you want to get married? Next year (2018) or the year after (2019)? If it’s next summer (I’m assuming summer since you’re in school and going to be a teacher) I’d say you need to kind of get moving because many venues will already be booked. If it’s 2019 you still have time. 

It sounds like you two ARE engaged, you just don’t have a ring yet. But you’re actively planning on getting married so I don’t see why you need to wait. 

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