Post # 1
So I have now realized that I have caved in to a lot of pressure ever since I first got engaged 3 months ago… With everyone asking for wedding details and stuff, I felt really pressured to get stuff done.
So, the result of this past super-stressful month is that our date is in mid February 2012 (picked by my mom’s Chinese fortuneteller) and I already have the save the dates for our destination wedding… I feel like I have to send them out far in advance partly because some of my best friends are residents (doctor-kind) and they need to know to request vacation dates fairly early on…. but my question is, is it too early to send out STDs? It’ll be like 15 months in advance!!!
I have a lot of the website ready (also has been another stressor!!) but I mean, I don’t even have a venue booked because I can’t book it until 1 calendar year in advance! 🙁 So do I just send it and maybe send a follow-up something a few months from now? (Maybe in March when guests can even BEGIN to look at airfare?) The STD’s a magnet so hopefully they’ll put it on the fridge…
Thanks for any advice, bees!
Post # 3
I wouldn’t send them out more than a year in advance. NOBODY needs that much time.
Post # 4
I’m in the same boat, having a Destination Wedding in March 2012. I can’t book my resort but I have chose it. Once we have booked our wedding day at the resort we are sending out the STD’s so a year in advance. For a Destination Wedding I think a year is a good amount of time but not too much.
Post # 5
I sent ours out 10 months in advance. With the way the economy is right now, I wanted to make sure everyone has time to plan. Also, a lot of companies require their employees to set their vacation time a year in advance, so I I think a year in advance would be fine.
Post # 6
@viv137: A year out is far enough. I would not send them out anything before that. To be honest with you, if I got a STD for a Feb 2012 wedding right now, I would throw it away.
Post # 7
If you feel like your resident friends need to know now to start planning, how about you just contact them and give them the basic details? You can send the Save-The-Date Cards to everyone at a later date (as others have said, probably no sooner than 12 months out) that would be more appropriate.
Post # 8
I agree that more than a year in advance is too long…I sent mine out 9 months in advance. The reality is, that people will forgot and if the information is available (via your website it’s easy to point people in that direction).
Basically you want to send your StDs out at a time when people can actually start to SAVE THE DATE… if you do it too early they’ll put it off (because they can’t even look at flights or book a hotel room) and then probably forget. Plus it’ll be extra work (and cost) for you to have to send another reminder a few months.
I would say just hold tight for another four months. It’ll be less work for you in the long run!
Post # 9
I think I’d send them in April or May. Like some others said, people use save the dates to actually save the date and make their travel arrangements. You can’t book airfare more than 330 days in advance, so some people might forget if you do them too early.
Post # 10
I sent ours out a year in advance, which I thought was kinda way early. My reasoning though, was similar to yours; a lot of guests had to travel, get vacation time from their boss, etc. Now, I am 7 months out, and getting ready to send out little mini-packages to the guests with more details–time, location, etc, as well as contact information for the travel agent we are using to help our guests get air/car/hotel arranged. I’m including a small pack of chocolate covered macadamia nuts then spraying a plumeria/tuberose scent into the box. It’s been about 6 months since the STD, so the the follow up package is supposed to be a reminder/get people excited about the wedding.
Something to consider: if you haven’t booked the venue yet, you might want to wait; only because if you absolutely fall in love with a venue, then it’s not available on the date you put on your STD, it’s going to be a giant pain in the butt to either re-do the Save-The-Date Cards or find another venue.
Post # 11
Definitely wait. If your guests get them now, they may get confused and think it is for February 2011. If there are people that absolutely, definitely must be there, you can always tell them verbally you are thinking of Feb XX 2012 so it will be on their radar. But, I would also be careful with that because sometimes your guest list can change due to various circumstances.
Post # 12
I would wait until your venue is booked, because nothing is certain until that point (there are too many “what ifs” prior to a deposit, including the time of your ceremony).
I disagree with those who said a year or more is too early. Our wedding is in January of 2012, and we sent the cards on Friday (November 12th). Our reasons are as follows:
– We have many Out of Town guests, and by Out of Town I mean the wedding is in MA and the guests are in Florida, Indiana, Texas, Colorado, and Alaska. They will need the advance notice.
– Many people need to ask for time off very far in advance these days. As an example, my own parents have already reserved their vacation time so they know they’ll have no problems later.
– We are encouraging our guests to stay at the Inn the evening before our Sunday morning wedding, and if they choose to do so, they will need to book a room.
– Our wedding website was printed on the card, and it has all of the useful and relevant info people might need prior to the wedding itself: registry, calendar of events, contact info, dress/formality, kid rule, etc.
– It’s a New England winter wedding. We want to get the questions and whining about the weather over with ASAP.
Okay, the last one was a joke 😀 but I think our reasons are pretty valid. We haven’t heard anyone complain about advance notice, but we have heard family members complain for other weddings when they only got a few months of advance warning.
Post # 13
I’d wait until Jan (or longer) so they don’t get overlooked with all the holiday mail that will be going around soon. Also, Jan seems a little less crazy-early than sending in 2010 for a wedding that’s in 2012.
Just in general though – don’t send out any formal communications (like STDs) until you’ve signed a venue contract and you 100% know your date and your city. Sounds like you’re set on a date. But even if you have a venue in mind now, sounds like they won’t let you book for several months, and who’s to say they don’t give your date to another couple with a larger/pricer event? I think it’s fine to email friends or mention your date to people verbally, but don’t send out magnets for an event that’s not really set in stone yet. I feel like that’s just “asking for it” for you to have to change things later.
Post # 14
Where is your desintation?
If it’s international, I think that a year in advance is good–especially because it’s not so much the travel booking for people, it’s the PASSPORT. You’d be surprised how many people either don’t realize they need one and/or don’t understand how long it takes to get. If you’re doing international, then be sure and include passport info on your website. You don’t want to be talking to your best friend a month before the wedding and have her go, “Oh, I need a passport??” (which DID happen to a friend of mine).
For domestic Out of Town weddings, I think that 10 mos. is more than enough. I agree with reserving the date, especially for docs, but I’ve never bought airfare or made a hotel reservation 10 months out from a wedding–some airlines don’t even sell tickets that far in advance–and I doubt most guests even start looking until 2-3 months out.
15 months is a bit overkill in either situation–there’s a window between when the date is so close that guests have to scramble to make arrangements and when the date is so far out that they’ll forget about it.
Post # 15
I think 1 year is a good time. You don’t want people to get confused and think you mean THIS february.