Post # 1
First of all, even though I’m on here all the time, this is my first post! I’m not really much of a poster, but I’m so torn on this that I really need some outside opinions (and you guys have already answered a ton of my questions without even know it!). So…hello!
Ok, my wonderful aunts are planning a shower for me and I am super excited. And before I get to my concern, I just feel like I need to say that no matter what I know they are going to plan a great day! But here’s the issue: realistically, I anticipate having about 20 girls at the shower. Neither myself or my fiance have a huge family, and we have a small, close group of friends. To me, that number seemed ok, but my aunts are a little concerned that the number is low! So first question, is 20 not an ok turn out?
As a way to make it a bit of a bigger event, my aunts put out the idea of having a jack and jill shower, and invite some guys…we decided against dads and uncles who really wouldn’t want to be there, but invite younger guys like friends and cousins. Have any of you been to or had a jack and jill shower? What did you think? Here’s the other thing to consider: I can only see about 7 or 8 guys coming. So with 20 girls and a handful of guys, isn’t that a little awkward?
Just wanted to pick your Bee brains! 🙂
Post # 3
I am having around 30 at mine on saturday, and i think that it is an ok number! I think that the most important part is that you enjoy the day 🙂
Post # 4
20 seems like an average number to me! When you said small, I though you meant like 5 people.
We only invited like 18 and I doubt all will show.
Though more presents are always a plus , I think that it is nice to be able to talk to everyone and have a more intimate shower.
Post # 5
I’ve been to a bridal shower of less than 20 and it was fine. Also have been to showers with few men and poor guys were bored.
Post # 6
I don’t think 20 people is too few at all. If you wanted the guys there because you just could never imagine your shower without them that would be one thing, but to invite them just to up your numbers doesn’t seem right. Also I think the guys will be bored or not come.
Post # 7
My shower is probably going to be around that many. I think my Maid/Matron of Honor invited 30ish, but only 20 or so (including me) are going to be able to attend. I don’t think it’s a big deal, especially since it’s only my friends/family since FIs friends and family are mostly in a different province. I think we’ll hold another “mini” shower before the wedding in NL with his family because his mom really wants to have one that she can attend, and his sister (one of my BMs) wants to throw one.
Post # 8
We had a coed wedding shower. There was about 30 people and it turned out great. I think more then that would be way too many people. You wanna be able to talk to everyone still.
oh and that was just for his side. My side didnt throw me a shower.
Post # 9
20 people is a LOT!
And I’ve been to a Jack and Jill shower. The men behaved MISERABLY (like 4 year ols whining to go home!)
I think you’ll have WAY more fun with just the women!
Post # 10
I think 20 is an average amount of people. I agree that having about 20 females and only a few guys might be a little weird. Do the guys all know each other? If so it might be a little less awkward. Maybe I’m a little old fashioned buy I like the idea of an all female shower.
Post # 11
My family almost always has showers with both men and women. No one is bored by them… The men do what everyone does at the shower… drink and eat and talk to people and watch presents being opened. So to me all girl showers are weird – the gifts are for the couple, from your friends, why exclude people?? Besides, I just can’t get excited about kitchen stuff the way my fiance can.
With that said, 20 seems like plenty of people. My shower was around 50 but that was about 25 gifts as couples obviously gave together. It was a TON of stuff.
Post # 12
Hi @hdoubleyou86: as this is your first post on WBee… a BIG Welcome to “the Hive”
Twenty is a good sized Shower. Under 10 is small… over 30 is large.
For the record…
Although some gals end up having large showers of 30 or more people, it isn’t the norm (and in many cases can be interpreted as a “Gift Grab”… so you wouldn’t want that)
IF someone figures they are going to have more than 25 or 30 Guests they’d want / need to invite (BIG Extended Family) then it is best if there is more than one shower. There is NOTHING wrong with a Bride having 2 or 3 showers if she comes from a large family / social circle… (OR if even there are some non-invites who want to host one for her… such as – At Work – Her Club – or Volunteer Group – or even the Neighbours where she grew up – or the Church Ladies). The trick is if someone is hosting a shower for non-invites is that the Bride be super polite & gracious… and realize these folks aren’t necessarily sniffing around for an Invite… but more than likely they are just really really thrilled for her happiness.
Ok, back to your particular issue.
I think you should go with a Ladies only shower. If it is the traditional shower format the guys would be bored.
Jack & Jill Showers / Couple’s Showers are most often hosted by friends of the Bride (vs family) and has more focus on “couples” and the folks that the B&G would usually socialize with.
Couple’s Showers tend to be very different from a traditional shower, as often there is an activity going on as well. (My own Couple’s Shower / Pre-Wedding Get-together was held as a Night Out at a Sports Venue… tons of fun). And the gifts at a Couple’s Shower usually relate to an interest that the Couple share… such as … a Sports Team – Backyard Entertaining – Camping – Wine etc.
Wheras a Shower for the Bride alone the theme usually relates to things she’ll need to make her house more “a Home” for her and her Hubby-2B
Linens Shower – Bath Shower – Kitchen Shower – Cooking & Recipes Shower etc
And in some cases, if it is a tight knit group of GFs maybe a more “intimate” Shower just for the Bride and the pampering / luxuries she might enjoy… things for her Beauty, Lingerie, Honeymoon etc.
Hope this helps,
Post # 13
Thanks for the input everyone! The Jack and Jill idea has been scrapped! It’s just gonna be the girls, and just around 20 people – exactly what I figured was average, and what the rest of you seem to agree is average too! I think a co-ed one would be really great, but it just doesn’t work with our friends/family. Plus we already had a great engagement party, which obviously involved all the girls and guys.
Anyways, thanks again! 🙂