Post # 1
- Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016
My family says I like to worry. I disagree. No one LIKES to worry, but admittedly I do worry a lot.
I’ve been thinking a lot about things with my FI, and I have this constant paranoia that something is going to go wrong. He’s given me no justification to think so, he’s never talked down to me, berated, made me feel anything but loved, beautiful and wanted. He’s patient with me (and Lord knows I’m no peach) and we’ve never had a huge arguement. I know he’s not perfect, I don’t want people to think I’m looking at him through blinders-he leaves the lights on, forgets to lock the door, he’s human. But there’s nothing truly aggravating, nothing that makes me think I can’t spend the rest of my life with him. I love him through and through, he communicates with me and constantly puts up with my trigger happy panic attacks.
But I feel so guilty. I can’t help but feel like it’s all TOO perfect, that something is going to happen to ruin it all. I don’t know why, and I know I hurt him when I compare him to other men (or rather, worry he will turn out like) who emotionally push around their wives (like today I was reading about how so many men lose attraction to their wives during pregnancy or after they’ve given birth and emotionally blackmail them). I don’t want to hurt him like this, again he’s never ever done anything to suggest that I should…I guess it’s just my own fears that I don’t deserve something so wonderful and I don’t know when or how it will all end.
Post # 2
Have you experienced abuse in the past?
I’m asking becasue that can make someone not trust good things in their lives.
Other than that, it could be helpful to see a therapist.
Post # 3
TwinkleBoss: I’m exactly the same way. Always waiting for the ball to drop. The universe couldn’t possibly let me be this happy for long… sound familiar? It’s not rational, but it’s the mind of the anxiety prone. You really just have to try to push those thoughts out of your mind. Bad things can happen, but worrying about them now won’t change that, they’re going to happen anyway. You might as well enjoy things when they’re good and deal with it if shit happens.
It’s easier said than done though, I know.
Post # 4
TwinkleBoss: you must be my twin!
I am always in my head and I hate it. I am my own worst enemy. I am actually reading a self help book to help with my anxiety, my overly worrysome self. Its really good and gets you into meditating.
You should pick up a copy and give it read. It will help you. Its helped me and I am the worst. I worry about the stupidest things like a zombie apocolypse, or the world ending, to someone close to me dying. (I have lost a lot of people I am close with, so that explains why I have a constant fear of someone dying).
Post # 5
You sound like me, and I have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
Perhaps you should talk to a professional. All this worry isn’t good for your physical health
Post # 6
Daizy914: What book is it? I think I need to check it out too!
Post # 7
jillbean1217: Emotional Freedom by Judith Orloff M.D.
She is a therapist and gives her techniques on how she treats her patients with emotional stress. Its a great read. Not done yet but I love it so far
Post # 8
Coming from a life of being put down and picked on by my family, I still find it hard to believe my FI loves me (even the crazy me). We’ve had our ups and downs and fights and disagreements and we are constantly working to better ourselves for eachother but there are times I question if he’s real or if this is all some cruel joke. I have stupid dreams about him not loving me because that is what I grew up around. It will take awhile to finally accept but once you do, you’ll be able to appreciate your FI even more. There are days where I say “Why are you with me” and there are days where we are just so on the same page with everything and the world is in sync and realize that that’s why we’re together. Just don’t let it get to the point where it affects your relationship with him.
Post # 9
TwinkleBoss: I do the same thing you do. And I am scared to death that something bad is going to happen or that he is going to change after the wedding like my ex did. He keeps telling me to stop and tells me he is not my ex. Just trust him and trust that he is a good man. Thats all you can really do.
I try to think of the law of attraction, when you keep focusing on something you manifest it. Try to manifest a happy life and believe in it.
Post # 10
SithLady: “Always waiting for the ball to drop. The universe couldn’t possibly let me be this happy for long…”
This is me! So much! In the course of our engagement, my FI has had many triumphs, career and life wise, and he just keeps on impressing me. It sometimes makes me look at him and think “How did I get so lucky to land such a wonderful, smart, gorgeous man?!”
Easier said than done, but all you can do is just relax, and enjoy your happiness. 🙂