(Closed) too honest????

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: is there a such thing as too honest when dealing with friends?
    yes : (85 votes)
    82 %
    no : (19 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    10367 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    There’s a difference between being honest and being blunt. There are many ways to communicate honestly – some hasher than others.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2854 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    It’s hard to say without knowing you. But sometimes it’s just a matter of understanding how to frame that honest for certain friends.

    Post # 5
    Member
    5786 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    You can absolutely be too honest. I think some people (not necessarily you) think being honest somehow absolves them of rudeness. You definitely should not lie to people but you can frame it so the truth is more pleasant/palatable.

    Post # 6
    Member
    928 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I voted yes, not because I don’t think one should be completely honest with friends, but because I think there are times when you can be brutally honest and times when you need to be tactful to avoid hurting their feelings.

    For example: When a friend asks you if she is gaining weight you could say ‘Oh my God, yes, you are totally getting fat. What are you eating?!?’ which would be honest, but not nice. Or you can say ‘You know, the holidays are a killer on the waistline. How about we go for a walk/go to the gym/grab a salad?” which would also be honest but still tactful.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3626 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    She probably knows you’re right, doesn’t like it and took it out on you.

    Post # 9
    Member
    4371 posts
    Honey bee

    I voted yes, because there are just some things that nobody ever wants to hear, and the information does no good anyway.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3461 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I think you could have phrased the second part more tactfully.  Maybe “Susie, I think it’s hard to gain trust back when it’s lost, but it’s certainly doable.  I would suggest you be as open and honest as possible about what you are doing.  Also, it’s possible that your SO might misconstrue your relationships with your male coworkers in particular, so I would suggest that you be very careful how you interact with them so you do not give the impression you are interested in anything further than a business relationship.”  You can tweak that obviously, but there’s a difference between saying “You big flirt!  You’ve been caught before, you will be again!” and “You know, you don’t want your SO to think you are flirting, so pay attention to your interactions so you don’t give the wrong impression.”  One is accusing her of bad actions, the other is more forgiving in politely pretending you think she’s not doing it on purpose.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1629 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    That might be that girl’s way of telling you she prefers that you lie. It’s impossible to keep track of who prefers what as far as being completely honest and forthcoming though. Just be yourself. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @FEFE215:  People generally don’t like being directly called out. A little bit of tact can go a long way in smoothing relationships with friends.

    The topic ‘too honest????’ is closed to new replies.

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