Post # 1
I would love some help on how to politely word a message to a group of friends whom I would like to invite to my wedding. My Fiance and I are paying for all wedding related expenses ourselves. As such, when we made our original guest list, we were extremely conservative with the number of people we were inviting (~75) because we felt that we could comfortably afford to pay for 70 guests if everyone chose the highest meal option at $96/pp.
Well, one of the things that we only recently settled on (as in…still haven’t quite committed fully) is our menu. But we are working to develop a station concept rather than a sit down meal. This brings us back to $87/pp. Much more comfortable.
I know that most people state to expect a 20% decline rate which with our 75 invitees would put us at 60. But we do not expect a lot of declines as it’s a pretty close group of people.
So…in my conservative guest-imation, there were three good friends from my last job that I debated inviting. I liked the whole little group, but was exceptionally close to one lady. She was definitely on the invite list as we kept in close contact after I left the job. I debated on the other three friends as they are awesome, I really like them, but thought it might look weird if I sent them an invite since we have only kept in touch via Facebook.
Well…the more I thought about it, I think it would be really nice to have them there and since it’s not going to financially strap us to invite 3 more couples, I’d like to do it.
The catch? Our wedding is on 10/8. My RSVP date (printed on the invites) is 9/16. And I also need to collect their current addresses to send the invite. I’ve honestly just completely forgotten to follow up on this detail, so I’m wondering if it’s still acceptible to invite them without making it look like a “B list” invite. (It’s truly not.)
1. Is it completely unacceptable to invite them so late?
2. If no, how can I word a Facebook message to them to ask for their address and acknowledge that it’s late? (Or do I not acknowledge that at all?)
I hope that you can help!
Post # 3
I’d just tell them you’re getting married on 10/8 and ask for their addresses so you can send them an invitation without mentioning that it’s late. When they see the RSVP date, I’m sure they will deduce that a round of invitations must have gone out sooner, but since they aren’t family or close friends I doubt they’d be offended.
Post # 4
I guess what’s the worst that can happen? They are offended and don’t come? Which they wouldn’t have come anyway since I didn’t get to invite them?
Post # 5
I see where you’re coming from. I don’t think it’s too late to invite them, and they could certainly think this is the first round of invitations you’re sending, since it’s just a little less than 6 weeks from the wedding… so asking for their addresses and all that shouldn’t bother them.
The tricky part is the RSVP deadline that’s printed in the invitation. That would worry me, too, and as a guest I would certainly notice it and assume that I was a b-lister. Is there a way to cut that off? I mean literally cut it, if it’s at the bottom? Or can you just print out a different invitation for them — something you make on your computer? They might think you DIY-ed all your invitations.
Also, this may not be your style at all, but some people just email their wedding invitations. My sister had one wedding invitation made, scanned it, and sent it out to her whole guest list. It’s kind of a green alternative to the traditional paper invitation. Anyway, if you did that, you could pretty easily (I assume) edit out the RSVP deadline on the scanned image.
Just some thoughts!
Post # 6
@Still – Great question! But I think I’m kind of screwed on lopping off the RSVP date. My invites are very similar to: http://www.etsy.com/listing/65967947/elegant-tri-fold-wedding-invitation-with Also I do have JPEGs of them, but it really won’t make too much sense as a JPEG b/c of the rather unique design. Grr
I feel like there are so many times where people completely overestimate how many they can invite to their wedding and pray for declines. I took that into consideration and went the complete opposite direction. Sigh.
But on the other hand, I do need to get the final count out to my caterer by 9/26, so I don’t even have that much time to give them to debate it.
Post # 7
I think you should call them (or FB them) and just be honest with them about what happened and why you want them to come. If they get offended and don’t want to come, well, it’s not like you see them often anyway.
Post # 8
Just get their addresses TODAY and mail them out tomorrow. I honestly wouldn’t realize that I was “b” list, but I’m wedding stupid. I didn’t even realize people did these sorts of things until I planned my own wedding and came here to the Bee. I would have just thought you procrastinated too long in sending them out.
Post # 9
I agree with the PP I think it is best to be honest. Explain to them that you really wanted to incluede them to be at your wedding, But explian that you have budget restraints and you could only invite x amount of people. and that you had to invite your family first. then explain how a few people couldnt make it and how you would love to have them there. I think it would be best to explain the sisuation. if they don’t like it they can chose not to come but its better to be honest.
if they are true friend they wont mind. I know if I was a former coworker and this happened I would be delighted to go, and I would understand the sisuation….
Post # 10
My girlfriend is getting married the same day you are and we just got her invite at the end of last week!
You are well within time to send out a couple more but you would need to for sure do it soon.
ETA. And yes I know I was in the first “round” of invites cause I’m in the wedding lol
Post # 11
Just get their addresses and send the asap. I liked the suggestion of mentioning the wedding is on Oct 8th and to save the date when you ask.
They have no idea if you had invite printing problems or sending problems etc. Just send it in the next week and you’ll be FINE.