- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
I’m recently engaged (3 weeks ago) and I really want to ask my girls to be bridesmaids. The problem is I might have too many.
My FI has 4 groomsmen he definitely wants to ask, and 2 others he is considering. i have 7-8 girls that I will most likely ask.
My mom and my FI both think this is too many. My FI doesn’t like the idea of it being so uneven and thinks the majority of my friends should be in the audience, not next to me. I think it’s a little irritating for him too because I have wayy more family coming to the wedding than he does and he probably feels like things will be lopsided (lots of my family, more bridesmaids, etc.) My mom also thinks it’s silly to have an uneven number. She is also upset that my little sister (she might be #8) might not be included if I have this many bridesmaids. My sister and I do not get along well. Occasionally we can, but we certainly aren’t close. In fact, she pretty much ruined my birthday dinner (which was also an engagement celebration with my parents and her) by complaining about the restaurant and telling me she didn’t want to be in my bridal party. My mom thinks I should forgive her and include her anyway because she’s younger (21….not THAT young) and probably didn’t mean what she said.
There is also one girl #7 who feels closer to me than I do to her. She comes to me a lot if she needs advice/needs to talk, but i don’t ever go to her. We have been friends for a long time, she’s part of a group of 4 of us that have been close since high school. I wouldn’t really care if she wasn’t up there with me, but I know she would feel extremely left out if she was the only one from this group that wasn’t included. I know people say it’s the bride’s day and no one should expect to be a bridesmaid, but that doesn’t mean feelings won’t get hurt. I don’t think she’d hold it against me in any way, just that she would feel sad and left out.
The other girls are all very important to me. If I needed them right now I could call them up and they’d drop everything to help me out. I have leaned on all of these girls for support at various times and they mean a lot to me. There is really no way to cut these girls out without them feeling horrible.
I would really like to have even, or close to even numbers, especially because it’s important to my FI (and apparently my mom?) but I don’t know what to do. I can’t think of a way to keep everyone happy 🙁 My FI has said that it is up to me and I can have as many as I want, but he would prefer if I cut down the list.
Does anyone have advice for me? Sorry this is so long, I didn’t mean for it to be.
Did any of you leave out friends that were expecting to be bridesmaids?
Did any of you have uneven numbers, how did it look in pictures?
How long in advance did you ask your bridesmaids?
And what do you think I should do??