Post # 1
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
As some of you may know, Fiance and I have been on quite a journey to get to this point after 9 years together and, for a long time, I really didn’t think we’d ever be planning a wedding! He unexpectedly proposed though and we have just booked our wedding for next June – we are both close to each others families/friends and they are all delighted we’ve finally taken this step!
We are having an adults only Destination Wedding in the Italian Lakes and are realistically expecting to have around 70/75 people attend as we both have large, close families and very few of our friends have any ties.
So, my issue is in relation to bridesmaids…I have 7 ladies I want by my side but I’m worried this is too many and will look ridiculous at a small wedding 🙁
I have 2 sisters and am close to both, 3 best friends who I have known since I was about 5 years old (we have all been bridesmaids for each other) and FI’s sons long term partner (whom I am close to and I really wanted to include someone from FI’s side – FI’s son is also his best man). The 7th is my dads fiancees daughter who is 18 and an only child…I really want to make her feel a part of the family since we’re normally quite a tight unit and she’ll be our stepsister very soon!
Everyone of them has been there since the very beginning of our relationship and I know they’d be so disappointed not to be asked – it actually upsets me to think about excluding any of them!
I’m having mismatched dresses anyway and not proper ‘bridesmaid’ dresses, just normal high street summer dresses in the same colour group and we’re having a pretty relaxed wedding so they won’t actually have to do anything except pose for a few pics – I don’t know if that makes it any better…
A big part of me thinks stuff what anyone else thinks, it’s your day so have whoever you want…i just dont want it to look ridiculous! Who made the rules on appropriate numbers anyway?
Post # 2
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
I think 8 is the absolute limit so I think 7 is fine. It may look like a little much at a small wedding but it’s your bridal party and you should ask who you want to stand by you.
Post # 3
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
SellyJo: We are having 75 guests at our wedding and I also have 7 girls in my bridal party. I’m equally close to all of them and have known most of them since I was a child so to me it was either all of them or no bridal party. I worried about it looking silly as well but I realized it doesn’t really matter, I love them and want them all to be included. We ARE cutting out things like the head table and they won’t be standing up with us during the ceremony but they will have their own reserved row (we wouldn’t have enough space for them all to stand up anyways). I think you should just have who you want and who’s important to you, I really don’t think anyone is going to judge you for that.
Post # 4
Member
6291 posts
Bee Keeper
SellyJo: I tend to think that you should have as many as you want; we’re having a smaller wedding than yours (55 ish) and I’m having 4 bridesmaids, and honestly, I don’t care how it looks/what people think; it was either all 4, or none at all.
In your case, if you were unsure about having quite so many, could you maybe have your sisters and childhood friends, and then find another way to include your FI’s son’s partner and your dad’s fiancee’s daughter? They could act as witnesses for example, or do a reading? Just a thought.
But ultimately, I think you should have however many you want.
Post # 5
Member
3725 posts
Sugar bee
SellyJo: Oh boy. Tough decision. I’d probably limit it to just the mandatory folks and have my friends come as guests. I really don’t like huge wedding parties… I think they are silly.
We are having 3 and 3. I’f prefer 0 and 0 or 1 and 1. Oh well.
Post # 6
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
SellyJo: I have 7 bridesmaids. Originally it sounded like way too many to me too but my Fiance and I both just had a lot of people we wanted in the bridal party. Don’t worry about whether other people think it’s too many, you should have the people you want up there with you.
Post # 7
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
SellyJo: I’ve read that the “rule” is about one attendant per 30 guests, but I think exceeding that ratio is really a victimless crime. You should choose the people who are closest to you – within reason. You probably don’t want to have as many bridesmaids as you have guests!
Post # 8
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
I’ve asked 8 girls, but since 3 of them are in different countries I think I will end up with 5 who will 100% attend. Not sure if the other 3 will be able to fly over.
But I think you should do what you want and not worry about how it looks. What counts is how you and your to-be husband feel on the day!
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This reply was modified 5 years, 9 months ago by TobeMrsD.
Post # 9
Member
7 posts
Newbee
I have 10!!!!!!!!! I Didn’t want any because I knew it would turn into this!
I have 3 sisters, 3 best friends, my Fiance has 2 sisters, and my bothers(2) girlfriends. I am close with all of them! Except for one, I asked her while I was intoxicated. OOOPS!
I am a little stressed about it but we are not having anybody stand with us. So hopefully it doesn’y look too crazy!
Post # 10
Member
585 posts
Busy bee
SellyJo: Oh sweetie. You and I are in the same boat. 🙂 When I started I had 7 possible ladies whom I wanted as bridesmaids–3 of them I was pretty sure would say no, as they just aren’t into bridesmaidsy stuff (I’ve heard them say this). Well, wouldn’t you know it, they all said yes! Lol! I’m delighted, though. These are my closest friends and I am honored they will be there with me. And I made it crystal clear that I would be honored to have them, but NO PRESSURE if it’s not their thing… and they each enthusiastically still wanted to. But they also know it will be casual, low-key and fun, and every single event is optional, and I don’t expect help planning.
My wedding will be about 50-65 people (including my fiance and I), and yes, a bridal party of 14. Know what? Who the eff cares. It’s what makes me happy, and they are all thrilled about it too. I’m sick of the “it’s a wedding, so you should do _______; or only _________ should happen.” Screw it. It’s about celebrating our marriage with our closest people, in the way that works for us.
It’s not going to look ridiculous. It’s going to look like a happy party filled with love. Sure, it’s a little unconventional, but I find humor in that. Anyone who take a small, casual wedding too seriously needs to loosen up. And my bridesmaid dresses won’t be matchy-matchy either, just coordinated!
Post # 11
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
Totally agree with ^^! It’s your wedding–have the one you want. As long as no one is hurt or insulted, who cares if you have seven?
I have five: two maids of honor, a bridesmaid, and my two bridesbros–my two brothers, who happen to be my two oldest friends. It’s still too many for my personal taste, but at the end of the day, I know the people who mean the most to me will be standing there with me. And isn’t that what’s most important?
Post # 12
Member
2331 posts
Buzzing bee
I had 10. Most of the time it was cool………. But 10 opinions is too much to handle when you are already stressed out. Anything over 6 is too much.
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