(Closed) Too many bridesmaids but how can I disinvite from being in the wedding party?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Whoa girl! That’s a big lot! I’d first talk to Fiance. Are you having a smaller wedding than the first time around? If so, no need to ask 13 people to stand with him–he can explain to them that you’re not going for the big wedding and I’m sure they’ll understand (and some may even be relieved).

As for your girls–they invited themselves? If you haven’t asked anyone/only asked a few, I’d cap it at however many your Fiance and you believe is best–and as to the rest, tell them  that you’re sorry that you can’t include everyone, but you can’t wait to celebrate along the way with them at bachelorette parties, showers and the wedding, of course. If they’re true friends, they’ll understand–and if not, you didn’t need pushy, catty people like that stressing you out before the wedding anyways!

Good luck!!

Post # 4
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee

agree with cinemaparadiso! for sure too many people up there

maybe you could give them other jobs… like bridal assistants that help you get ready and have some responsabilities but don’t stand with you. That way they feel included and you’re less overwhelmed

P.S. people are just so rude inviting themselves!! gah drives me crazy!!

Post # 5
Member
2463 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

if you really don’t want to cut the list and are only worried about the number of people standing, you could have the bridal party walk down the aisle but then sit, not stand up. when i first saw my venue it was set up in a round so there would have only been room for us and the officiant to stand–we thought about that for a bit…but if it’s about the wedding in general being smaller in general or cutting costs (although you could also use smaller bouquets or not real flowers too), i agree with the other posters. and that people inviting themselves to be bridesmaids is totally uncool!

Post # 6
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I was engaged before and didn’t ask the same girls to be my bridesmaids this go around.  They are still invited to the wedding but we really weren’t close then and even more so now.  I think your Fiance just needs to pick the guys that he has been closer too these last few years. 

I like finnaroos idea of having them sit down.  You could have the Maid/Matron of Honor and Bestman remain standing beside the two of you.

Post # 7
Member
653 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Wow that’s a huge number! 

I’d talk to your Fiance about how many people he really wants to be up there and then talk about cutting your numbers and come up with alternative jobs for the ones you have cut.

If you really want all 23 people to be included in your bridal party then maybe consider having them sit down during the ceremony.

Post # 8
Member
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Just select people… decide who you really are close to and forget about the rest. That’s how I’m doing it, and I must admit it’s great because I need to be able to count on them helping me rather than having to tiptoe around them Wink

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