Post # 1
I am not quite sure what to do, we finally paid for our venue this week and the room is way smaller in width than we anticipated. I also did not plan on having a huge wedding party, as we are pinching pennies and buying a bunch of bouquets and bridal party gifts can get expensive, but I have quite a few girlfriends and a few that are not even my best friends actually invited themselves to be my bridesmaid. One going so far as to ask “I’m your maid of honor, right?” and I had to reply “No my best friend since kindergarten is maid of honor”. Seriously, who does that? Anyways, now I have 10 girls who are on my side, and my family pressuring me to drop some of them, but won’t their be girls who feel catty and jealous that other friends got to stand but they are not important enough to? I don’t want to hurt anyones feelings but not sure about having a huge bridal party in a tiny room. Also, my fiance was married before and had 13 groomsmen and we are not sure if it would be rude not to invite all 13 that are coming to the wedding to not stand, as they might wonder why some still were invited but they weren’t invited this second time around. 26 people standing at the front of a small room (23 in the party, us and our rabbi) seems a little excessive. What do I do?
Post # 3
Whoa girl! That’s a big lot! I’d first talk to Fiance. Are you having a smaller wedding than the first time around? If so, no need to ask 13 people to stand with him–he can explain to them that you’re not going for the big wedding and I’m sure they’ll understand (and some may even be relieved).
As for your girls–they invited themselves? If you haven’t asked anyone/only asked a few, I’d cap it at however many your Fiance and you believe is best–and as to the rest, tell them that you’re sorry that you can’t include everyone, but you can’t wait to celebrate along the way with them at bachelorette parties, showers and the wedding, of course. If they’re true friends, they’ll understand–and if not, you didn’t need pushy, catty people like that stressing you out before the wedding anyways!
Post # 4
agree with cinemaparadiso! for sure too many people up there
maybe you could give them other jobs… like bridal assistants that help you get ready and have some responsabilities but don’t stand with you. That way they feel included and you’re less overwhelmed
P.S. people are just so rude inviting themselves!! gah drives me crazy!!
Post # 5
if you really don’t want to cut the list and are only worried about the number of people standing, you could have the bridal party walk down the aisle but then sit, not stand up. when i first saw my venue it was set up in a round so there would have only been room for us and the officiant to stand–we thought about that for a bit…but if it’s about the wedding in general being smaller in general or cutting costs (although you could also use smaller bouquets or not real flowers too), i agree with the other posters. and that people inviting themselves to be bridesmaids is totally uncool!
Post # 6
I was engaged before and didn’t ask the same girls to be my bridesmaids this go around. They are still invited to the wedding but we really weren’t close then and even more so now. I think your Fiance just needs to pick the guys that he has been closer too these last few years.
I like finnaroos idea of having them sit down. You could have the Maid/Matron of Honor and Bestman remain standing beside the two of you.
Post # 7
Wow that’s a huge number!
I’d talk to your Fiance about how many people he really wants to be up there and then talk about cutting your numbers and come up with alternative jobs for the ones you have cut.
If you really want all 23 people to be included in your bridal party then maybe consider having them sit down during the ceremony.
Post # 8
Just select people… decide who you really are close to and forget about the rest. That’s how I’m doing it, and I must admit it’s great because I need to be able to count on them helping me rather than having to tiptoe around them