(Closed) Too many bridesmaids, not really friends with them… what do I do!?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3723 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

7 attendants is a lot. Why did you ask numbers 4 and 5 to begin with if you consider them ‘semi-friends’?

Post # 4
Member
5245 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@cmbr: I was wondering the same thing!

Post # 5
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Just out of curiosity, why did you ask them in the first place? 

You’re sort of stuck with it now 🙁

I think some sort of girls night would be really nice, and might make you feel better about the situation 🙂

Post # 6
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@cmbr:  +1. My thoughts exactly.

Post # 7
Member
9145 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

If your wedding day isn’t until March 2016 then I highly recommend waiting until March 2015 to set your bridal party in stone.  A lot can happen in three years.

Based on your current list I would have MOH 1, MOH 2, and BMs 1, 2, and 3 only.  It doesn’t sound like you are that close with 4 and 5 so why deal with the additional drama of having them as BMs?

Post # 8
Member
8701 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would cut them if they havent spent any money yet. I would say I have too many bridesmaids (could be true bc 7 is a higher #!). If they arent close to you then they should understand. They might even be relieved!

Post # 9
Member
8159 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

why did you ask BM 4 and 5?

even 3? just because you are in her’s doesn’t mean she has to be in yours.

is your wedding really in 2016?  you asked way to far in advance.  you should ask anywhere from 9-12 months before because friendships change.

Post # 10
Member
3723 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I didn’t even notice your wedding date — if that’s real, you are picking your bridal party waaaaaay too early. I’d recommend like 9 months before because relationships can change so quickly.

Post # 11
Member
6207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I think organizing some activities to get together with them would be a good idea!

 

When is your wedding? Is that date anywhere near close? Do they have dresses yet?

I’m guessing you want to continue to be friends with the last two, so telling them you just have too many people and want them to attend as guests isn’t the best option. If you don’t think you will be friends for very long, then it is an option to ask them to step down- just be prepared for some backlash. If you did ask them to step down, I would just say to them “I chose bridesmaids too early in my planning and now that I’ve thought about it, I realized that I have way too many people in my bridal party- it’s becoming too much to keep up with. I would of course love it if you continued to be involved with the wedding, but I would prefer that you attend as a guest instead of being in the wedding party”

Post # 12
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@cmbr:  I don’t think the date is real.  She said she’s going annonymous.

Post # 13
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@TheMoreTheMerrier_Nevermind:  Yeah that’s a lot of people. What was your motivation in choosing that many? If your wedding isn’t for a few more years, I would try to cut down the amount and blame it on budget or something. Or just say you got ahead of yourself and didn’t realize how difficult it would be to coordinate a group that large, and would like to make it smaller.

Post # 14
Member
527 posts
Busy bee

@TheMoreTheMerrier_Nevermind:  I think you should ask them if they are sure they want to be in the bridal party, or if they would rather attend as a guest.  Maybe they don’t want to be a bridesmaid? 

I think everyone has bridesmaids they lose touch with.  I asked my BFF, my sister, my SIL, and two friends that I never see anymore.  Oh well.  🙂

Post # 16
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Honestly. I think it’s too late to ask someone to step down if you’re getting married in 4 months without seriously hurting feelings.

 

If you don’t feel close to them, make it a point to call or email at least once a week. Reach out to them yourself, don’t hang back and wait for them.

 

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