Too many dances?!

posted 11 months ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
7020 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Wow, yeah waaaayyy overkill. At the minimum that is 10 minutes that guests are just sitting doing nothing. It’s likely closer to 20 quite honestly. I’d combine the father/daughter mother/son together. Your Mother-In-Law doesn’t get to dictate that. If you and your fi want them combined, combine it. Can’t nana dance with your fi during the normal dances? Like ask her what song she wants, and when that comes on he can sweep her away for a dance? I think the same with your mom. 

Post # 3
Member
628 posts
Busy bee

It’s not too many if you’re ok with people losing interest after the first 2 or 3. How about asking your mom to give a speech? That would honor her and give her a chance to gush about you. As for the grandma dance, why not just do the traditional dances and then have your MC announce “this one goes out to grandma _____” and you FH can dance with her and who ever else is on the dancefloor, same with your mom if you really want to dance. 

Post # 4
Member
6854 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Wowza. 1) Can you find shortened versions of the songs? Especially the mother/daughter dance? It’s a sweet thought but it sounds as if your mother does not like being the center of attention and may not want all eyes on her for 3 1/2 minutes. 2) Can FH and nana join in part way through your Father/Daughter dance? 

Post # 5
Member
2119 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I agree with the above posters. You do not need to clear the dance floor and make everyone watch yet another dance to make it special. I’d just have the DJ play the selected song and make an annoucement that this dance is a special song for Groom & Grandma. Let your photographer know ahead of time so she can snap a few pictures. Another idea is to pick a longer mother/son dance song and have grandma “cut in” during the last minute or so to give him a chance to dance with grandma. You can do the same with your mom during the father/daughter dance. 

Post # 7
Member
2746 posts
Sugar bee

I would at least cut all the songs down to 2 mins.

That’ll still be at least 10-15 mins of standing and watching people sway. Also, Is there a place you can do it, or a way you can do it so that people can continue mingling, or wander off if they feel so inclined? 

Then see if you can merge some of the dances. Maybe the mother/son and grandma/grandson can split a song?

And I don’t recommend surprising your mom with the dance. It sounds like she may be opting out of things because she doesn’t want to be the centre of attention, so surprising her with a dance could actually be a bit mean. At least run it by her first and make sure she’d want to. If not that’s an easy one to cut. 

Post # 9
Member
2130 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

I agree with PP that it is overkill. Especially if you are doing other traditional things like a cake cutting and a boquet/garter toss. Your guests are just going to wonder when they can hit the dance floor. Personally, I would ask nana for the first slow dance song of the night, and just have them play the mom song for you sometime during the reception. I also don’t think its a great idea to just surprise your mom by bringing her up to dance, even though it is a sweet idea. If she doesn’t want to do a reading or walk you down the aisle, she might be a little shy or embarrased to get up there, and here you are putting her on display for the whole wedding. Unless you know she will love it, I’d skip it and find a different way to honor her. Like write her a long letter for her to open before the wedding. Get a few pictures of just the two of you, etc.  

If you are insistant on doing all of these, keep the songs to under 2min each. We are cutting our first dance song to under 3 min and the father/daughter and mother/son will be more like a little over 2 min. And we’re not doing any of the other traditional things. It will less than 8 min of dancing and then open up the dance floor! 

Post # 11
Member
6854 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Can you work with your DJ to make a compliation of one minute or so of each song, with your father cutting in on you and Darling Husband as the song shifts, then mother/son taking the floor as the next song shifts, then Darling Husband trading mom for nana? DJ can announce the transitions?

Can you stop at the end of the aisle during the procession and hug your mom, perhaps give her a flower from your bouquet?

Post # 13
Member
2514 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

It’s too much honestly. I would have your fiance dance with his grandma during a slow song at some point during the reception. Maybe you could write your mom a heartfelt letter with a gift instead? I’ve been to a couple weddings with more dances than normal and honestly it was a snooze fest for the guests. Sorry, just being honest!

We did only father daughter and first dance, and both shortened versions (I think 2 min each. Might have even been a smidge less)

Post # 15
Member
2499 posts
Buzzing bee

Way too many special dances in my opinion.  (I’m going to be honest and say that as a wedding guest, I start to lose interest either halfway through or at the end of the bride/groom dance. Watching people dance, especially if they’re not trained dancers, can be pretty tedious.)  

Does the grandmother/grandson dance have to be an exclusive one, or can he just make plans to dance with her during a special song?  If you don’t want to hurt his grandmother’s feelings by canceling this dance can you announce a special dance honoring grandparents and invite people to  join your Fiance and his grandmother on the dance floor? 

I also recommend against surprising your mom with a special dance (and with a song she may have never heard before!).  If she has already opted out of walking you partway down the aisle and of doing a reading, she may not appreciate being the surprise center of attention.  Plus, a lot of people are not comfortable being the center of attention while dancing to a song they don’t know well.  

Honestly, it sounds like you want to do the mother/daughter dance for you more than for her. Try and come up with something that would be meaningful to her – maybe presenting her with your bouquet or a special piece of jewelry?  

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