Post # 1
Scroll down to last paragraph if you don’t care for the backstory/rant.
Even before I got engaged I had the bridal party picked out. Night of I called all the girls to let them know. I hinted at who should be groomsmen and that he should tell them immediately but his idea was much different than mine.
I have 3 close girlfriends and my best friend is a guy and he has 4 close guy friends plus 1 brother. So that would make it 3 to 6 (I am not for a man of honor).
We asked two of his friends to do readings at the ceremony as one of them was an English major and the other went to a Christian college. Now we’re at 3 to 4.
I’m totally comfortable with that odd number because I wanted everyone to walk in individually anyway. BUT his best friend is in the Marines and therfore may not even be able to make it to the wedding so I didn’t really think to include him. Of course he’s invited to the wedding but being in the bridal party is completely different.
So he’s making it sound like he will definitely be there so I said that his wife can just be one of my bridesmaids to make it even. I’ve only known her for a little while but we hit it off instantly. I’ve told my fiance this multiple times and instead of asking his friend he finally tells me “what if she doesn’t want to be in the wedding?” I was crushed. Why wouldn’t she want to? Why couldn’t he just ask them first? He already asked this guy to be his best man.
And that’s another thing. His idea is to have his best friend be his best man even though there is a good chance he won’t be able to make it or if he does he will basically be able to attend the wedding and that’s it. His backup plan is to just have his brother be his best man.
So should all the what ifs work out as he has suggested we will be at 3 to 5. I am not comfortable with that and I am not comfortable with forcing him to do anything. I think the best option is to find a new job for my best friend as he is not budging on his groomsmen.
Recap: My best friend is a guy but I don’t want a man of honor and I already have a maid of honor. The bridal party will be uneven if he is a groomsman. What other job can I have him do without making him feel like a second class friend? Or is it really that big of a deal if it’s that uneven (3 to 5)?
Post # 2
it doesnt matter if sides are uneven. i had uneven sides, 4Bridesmaid or Best Man, 5Groomsmen. We had one Bridesmaid or Best Man walk down with 2 Groomsmen, no biggie
Post # 3
You can have a few of the groomsmen be usher instead. They are still part of the bridal party but they sit during the ceremony instead of stand.
Post # 4
I can’t stress enough how unimportant it is if the sides are uneven. Recently went to a wedding where the bride had 7 (!) bridesmaids, and the groom had 1 (!) groomsman. Nobody cared or even noticed really.
3 vs 5 or 6 is not a big deal at all. You’ll be fine!
Post # 5
thank you!! That is exactly what I needed to hear bc he seems to think it needs to be even and I have never been to a wedding where it was uneven. That’s why I was uncomfortable with the idea. Issue resolved!
Post # 6
An uneven wedding party is not a problem. Your photographer will know how to pose the group. Ther are an infinite number of ways to do the proessional and recessional.
I’d be careful asking his best friend’s wife to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man if you aren’t close. That could put her in a very awkward position. It will considerably increase their expenses for your wedding if they are both in the wedding party.
Post # 7
I totally understand! I think REQUIRING the sides to be even is an outdated and nearly impossible notion. You’ll look back and laugh that you were ever even worried about it 🙂
Post # 8
We would actually be the only people she would know at the wedding aside from her husband so that’s why I had suggested the idea. And when he was on leave I basically had to spend the entire time alone with her while they went out doing guy stuff hahah. So we definitely became much closer than I made it seem. If she doesn’t want to/can’t afford it I understand I just thought she would be more comfortable with me than being alone. The only reason why I kinda freaked out was bc I didn’t really think about it before and at the time he was shooting down all my ideas. I kinda felt like he was just trying to make me back down on having my best friend be in the wedding.
Post # 9
Who cares if it’s uneven. Sometimes I feel like people will add people or keep people out of the bridal party because they care so much about it being equal. That’s not always realistic though. My husband has 5 brothers and I have one brother- all six of them were groomsmen. I had my maid of honor and two bridesmaids. I could have asked other friends or cousins, but I didn’t because I didn’t want fillers, nor did we want to take out his younger brothers and give them different titles or jobs because we wanted them to feel just as special.
Post # 10
I am having the opposite, haha. I have 4 girls but my Fiance only wants a best man. Oh well, I say do what you want!