(Closed) Too many guest for reception budget

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Too many guest,limited budget:
    reception only for friends and family : (7 votes)
    30 %
    cake and punch reception only : (4 votes)
    17 %
    cake/punch reception for church members etc..and reception for family/bridal party : (12 votes)
    52 %
  • Post # 3
    558 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I think you should do whatever you want, and whatever fits your budget. It’s YOUR wedding! There are always going to be those who complain, but in the end you just have to do what fits you. Trust me, I’ve had to put my foot down on so many things, it’s rediculous! Be tough, do what you think is best, and everyone will be happy that they got to share in your special day, no matter what!

    Post # 4
    2640 posts
    Sugar bee

    The idea of the congregation goes to everyone’s wedding is a bit foreign to me.  Are the church folks going to get formal invitations?  Or is it customary that they are simply free to show up to the ceremony?  I think it would be fine to have cookies and punch for the church folks, especially if they don’t really need a formal invitation.  If they do somehow require an invitation, I guess  I would say, don’t send the invitation.  Then you shouldn’t have to worry about too many guests.  What would happen if you just didn’t send them one?  Would they show up anyway?

    Post # 5
    112 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Hmm.  What would keep the masses of people from crashing your reception?  Technically, it’s proper etiquette to only invite people to the ceremony who you invite to the reception.  Now, you can do whatever you want of course, but keep in mind the protocal–people at the ceremony are going to be expecting a reception.  I wouldn’t want any confusion.

    One idea would be to do an earlier ceremony with cake/punch at the church for an hour or so, and follow it up with a small reception at a different location like a restaurant a few hours later.  That way people wouldn’t wander in to a private reception and make themselves at home.

    Best wishes!

    Post # 6
    596 posts
    Busy bee

    I’m also part of a big church so I can understand your pain!  I avoided this altogether by having a destination wedding. 😛  Normally, formal invites are only given to the members that are invited to the reception afterwards in a separate location.  So people figure out – no invite, no reception.  Of course, this doesn’t guarantee that there won’t be hurt feeling because of course, people talk and find out that so-and-so got invited and they didn’t. 

    Can you discreetly ask around to see what other members of the church have done?  I think it makes sense to have a cake and punch reception for everyone at the church and then a small reception at a completely separate location afterwards for just family and close friends.  Only send formal invitations to those that are invited to the small reception and ask them not to spread the word so that people don’t find out where it is and "assume" they are welcome to join.

    Post # 7
    613 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    A friend’s father is the lead minister of a very large congregation…to avoid offending anyone, they had a small ‘congregation reception’ with just cake and bunch before the full’ sit down dinner reception’.  To my knowledge, none of the congregation was offended.

    Post # 8
    606 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I would invite the congregation to the ceremony only. No reception. Then have a reception for friends and family at another location. Two receptions is a little bit of a stretch.

    The topic ‘Too many guest for reception budget’ is closed to new replies.

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