- 8 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
So, I have been engaged for 3 months and my beloved finance talked about a guest list 2 months ago so we could understand overall capacity and pick a place. With all of that done we created our Save-the-Dates and went to address and send them out. Day of this landmark, my beloved has not finished putting his address list together. Okay. He hasn’t even started it (and I have tried reminding him). So day of, he was printing the list out and asked that nothing be done until later that day so he had a chance to get addresses. Needless to say, we were missing most of his guest list when the Save-The-Date Cards went out. If he was fine with it – so was I. The kicker was that when he really looked at the list the next day — he added 40 to 50 people! We max capacity at 150 and with this new addition we’re at 200 guests.
And to add another chef my Mom then tells me that morning (in an unrelated conversation) that she still needs to ask the people she would like to invite.
I realize that the rule of thumb is 20% of the people invited won’t come, but how did we get to this number. I also realize that I am suffering from shell shock. But as any bride-to-be does, we smile was faced with any wrinkle – realize that this is about getting married and not getting wedding’ed and figure it out. I called the location and we came up with alternative seating options to fit everyone. Wonderful.
So this morning, I resurface the conversation with my Mom and ask her how many people she was considering inviting and she cannot give me a number. I know it won’t be 50 — but this is something that I still need to consider for the space. There are only so many magic wands in the basket. I kindly let her know that we are potentially maxing out on capacity. I could probably fit another couple or to, but wasn’t sure on how many more people and pressed her again for a number. She told me it isn’t worth it for a couple people and then promptly said, well I don’t need to ask anyone. So now what?
I know her feelings are hurt and there are people who she is close that she wants to invite. I just can’t invite everyone. I should also mention that the groom and I are paying for the wedding. These additional guests that my Mom would like to invite, she will pay for. I am the first person in our immediate family to get married and I know she is excited. I don’t want to disappoint her but I have serious space issues. Any advice?