(Closed) Too mean revenge for not being on the wedding photos? (sorry, long)

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Funny idea or crappy, mean and bad style?
    If it was my wedding, I'd kill you. And then burn you. And never talk to you again. : (9 votes)
    5 %
    Crappy, mean and bad style : (62 votes)
    37 %
    Just suck it up and don't do anything : (77 votes)
    46 %
    It's funny, do it. : (19 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 76
    Member
    532 posts
    Busy bee

    Even if she’s not married yet, it would have been considerate to take even just ONE picture with her, at least with a regular camera…

    Post # 77
    Member
    2333 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    aventurin :  Shes not your sister in law though. Stop calling her that 

    Also I agree with PPs that they think this may not last for whatever reason 

    Post # 78
    Member
    701 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    As a sister of brothers who have had lots of girlfriends and brought them to family things: I get it. (I’m not comparing your situation to mine, just saying I have been on that side before) I don’t agree with what she did, but she doesn’t like you for some reason so doing that wouldn’t help. It probably drive a bigger wedge between you two. Someone has to be the bigger person and leave the possibility of a relationship open. If you do that, based off of her behavior during the pictures, that door would most likely slam shut. 

    I wouldn’t do it, I would only do it if I knew 100% she would think it was really funny, too. 

    Post # 79
    Member
    545 posts
    Busy bee

    Yeah, neither of my BIL’s girlfriends were in a single one of my wedding pics. Why would they be, they technically aren’t family even though I loved them both. Thankfully too, because neither one of them are dating the same girl after years of dating both! If she was doing it just because she didn’t like you that is one thing, but I don’t see a problem with you not being in the pictures. 

    My mom has a friend who made her daughter’s boyfriend stand on the end of every picture for 7 years and wasn’t allowed to have his arms around her or anything just in case they needed to cut him out. (They loved him, they just didn’t want an akward family photo later) well they just got married and it was a big hilarious thing that he FINALLY got to be in the middle of a family picture!😂 

    As for the sign, I wouldn’t do it. If she doesn’t like you that’s definitely not going to help anything, and above all else-they were her wedding pictures and if she didn’t want you in them, then so be it. 

    Post # 80
    Member
    4559 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I know it has been said many times already, but you are a girlfriend, and therefore in this situation I understand why you wouldn’t be in any family photos. I feel sad that you weren’t included in the friends pics though, you should have had a look in there, but in the end it isn’t up to you, they are their pics.

    A huge no to the silly passive agressive idea for the photo booth, it will just make you look like a goose with a chip on its shoulder. Be the bigger person. 

     

    Post # 82
    Member
    293 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2018

    FI’s brother isn’t dating anyone (wedding in 8 months) – but if he did have a partner of several years at the time of our wedding I’d include them in the group shots of all guests, the ‘all female’ (or ‘all male’) guests shots and I’d also include them in a family shot as well. I could still have a photo of me, Fiance, Brother-In-Law, Mother-In-Law, Father-In-Law and GMIL as well, without them, but it really doesn’t hurt to include them in one photo, even if it was just one taken by another guest.

    Lots of people date for years without marrying and are counted as family – like my Aunt’s boyfriend of 25 plus years has always been included as family for most things. We would never dream of not including him in some family photos, and when my other Aunt married he was included in some family shots with my father and I, others he wasn’t in like sibling and parent only pics but married partners were also excluded from those, and so was I as a grandchild, and my cousin as son of the Bride and Groom and the other grandchild.

    Post # 83
    Member
    213 posts
    Helper bee

    It’s a shame that you didn’t make it onto the photo’s. I don’t know the Etiquette for who should be in what photo, but I think I would have felt hurt and left out too. Hopefully now that the groom is aware, it won’t happen at the second wedding too.

    I think it’s a funny idea, and if you had a better relationship with the bride I’d say go for it, as although she’d realise it is a bit of a dig at her previous actions, she’d be able to laugh it off as the joke it’s intended as.

    But given that things are already on the icey side with her I think it would only backfire and cause more drama. The last think you’d want (I am guessing based on your post) is to cause any problems at the wedding so I think, although it was mean spirited of her, just let it go.

    I hope you have a good day at the church wedding and that you are included this time around.

    Post # 84
    Member
    3673 posts
    Sugar bee

    No passive aggressive, childish jokes. It will only make things worse. I agree with others that family photos shouldn’t include boyfriends and girlfriends. When Darling Husband and I weren’t married, I was not in family photos. They would however invite me into some photos after they’d gotten their family only shots. We went to several family weddings together, and I was never asked to be in formal group pictures either. While it does sound like she’s being rude to you and is not a very nice person, I understand the photo thing. Just let it go. You guys don’t have to be friends, and it sounds like everyone else likes you and has no issue.

    Post # 85
    Member
    14947 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I’m hurt because I was the only SO who was completely ignored.

    Yes, it sucks to feel singled out and left out.  So just face the fact that not everyone in this world is going to like you for and want nothing to do with you whatever the reason.  If you want to know what the problem is, you’ll have to talk to her directly.  Obviously she doesnt have a problem with the 18 yr olds new Boyfriend or Best Friend or whatever, and that’s her perogative.  Is HER pictures, who cares.  Too bad when it comes time for your wedding, she’ll be the wife and “officially” family, so you’ll probably have to include her.  Just make sure to get some *immediate family*, no spouse pictures too so that she’s not in time and you can display those if you dont want to see her face in your pictures either.

    Post # 86
    Member
    742 posts
    Busy bee

    1. You are not family.

    2. You are not friends with the bride.

    What makes you think you were deserving of being in those photos? 

    When my Brother-In-Law married his wife two years ago I was in the EXACT SAME situation. I was in no photos, been dating my now Darling Husband for 5 years, not friendly with bride. I was in zero photos, not one. But guess what? I’m a grown up, and I could have cared less!!!! We weren’t friends, nor family yet, so why would I have that expectation?

    Don’t do the stupid revenge thing. You’re not five, grow up. You were probably left out because you CLEARLY have no respect for the bride.

    Post # 87
    Member
    2014 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    You aren’t family. You aren’t freinds. The bride has made it clear she desn’t like you. Stop and drop it. 

    I woudn’t ask for someone I don’t like to be in my pictures that I am paying for. 

    Post # 88
    Member
    704 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    My SIL did this to me too…and we were engaged at the time. Then she threw a tantrum about not getting enough attention at my wedding a year and a half later aaaannnd made a point to get pregnant so she would have a brand new baby in time for our wedding to try and garner extra attention (she flat at told me she was planning her pregnancy so she would have a new baby at our wedding…which I was like, wtf? Ok, whatever).

    Long story short…some people just suck….and they always will. Don’t react to it. That way everyone can see who the real jerk is, and karma will roll around to them eventually.

    Post # 89
    Member
    2527 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    So I decided to take it with humor and this is, what I’m actually asking you (sorry for the novel!!), there will be a photo booth with ‘funny accessory’ at the church wedding and bf and I had the idea to tinker a huge arrow on a stick (so I can hold it and point it towards my head) on which we’ll write ‘FINALLY MADE IT ONTO A PHOTO!’ (dunno if this is translated correctly, you know what I mean).

    Jesus christ, grow up. This is hugely immature. 

    Post # 90
    Member
    3050 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    You aren’t in their friend circle and you aren’t yet family. So, she did nothing wrong. 

    You also don’t know that the photographer didn’t take other photos while people weren’t staged which may have included you. Even if none of them did for the civil ceremony, that’s their choice and the only person making this personal is you.

    You’re being pretty childish and need to let this go. 

    The topic ‘Too mean revenge for not being on the wedding photos? (sorry, long)’ is closed to new replies.

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