(Closed) Too Much Food?!

posted 10 years ago in Food
Post # 3
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

I’m a little confused as to the situation. Are they complaining that there are too many different types of food, like too many entrees, sides, types of appetizers, etc.? Or are they saying that the portions are too large?

I agree that, for me, culturally, when you have a big party for a celebration, you certainly don’t want people to go away hungry; it’s party of being a good host(ess). We also tend to overindulge a little when we’re celebrating (see: all the people who get drunk at weddings).

What part of the country are you getting married in? That also could play a part. I’m getting married in the South. There WILL be a lot of food. If there wasn’t, people would think it was weird.

Post # 6
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

i think there’s not much that you can do besides getting your Fiance to explain that this is the way that weddings tend to be in the states.

unless there actually is too much food? what are you serving?

maybe incorporate some australian dishes so that you can embrace, rather than clash with, your FI’s culture?

Post # 7
178 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I know it’s important to be culturally sensitive, but keep in mind that you are having the shin-dig in America, not Austraila, so for your Australian guests it will be a bit of a "when in Rome…" situation. If you were to have the reception in Australia you wouldn’t insist on having a huge extravagant menu just because you’re American, right? You would more than likely follow most Australian customs, incorporating the few American traditions most important to you.

My fiancè’s Italian. We’re having our civil ceremony in America, and the reception will have a traditional American wedding menu, probably similar to what you’re having. An American wedding meal is substantially smaller than a traditional Italian wedding feast, but I don’t expect his family or guests to be offended. I expect them to think, "wow, good food, but nobody eats like us Italians!".

We’re having the the marriage affirmed in a mass in Italy about a month later, and will have the full-on 10+ course Italian wedding lunch after. We’re looking at up to FIVE hours of eating! My mom’s already a little intimidated, and I’m sure she thinks this is on the extravagant side, but she knows this is how it’s done here, and she completely accepts that. My family will put up a good fight and try to tackle all that food!

I’d gently explain to your FI’s family (or have him explain, I think that would even be better) that this is standard for an American wedding, and it’s what you’d like. I also really like the option to donate the extra food afterwards- being in NYC/NJ, I’m sure there are a lot of organizations that would be so happy with the donation. 

Post # 8
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I’m not sure if your planning to serve the hor’s d’oeuvres passed or on a buffet, but if they are passed then it will not appear to be as much food because each guest will only see the few trays that are offered to them. If it is on a buffet then it will all be visible at once and would appear to be more food. Maybe you could do passed to conceal the volume of food?

Post # 9
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I agree with snmcdowell about passed food during the cocktail hour. Similarly a plated meal rather than a buffet might look less ostentatious to them. As long as they aren’t seeing all the food at once it’s not so bad. It’s possible that just the description sounds indulgent. I know when I read about appetizers with shaved this and glazed that on a you know what, it can sound a little overwhelming, but when you get it it’s just a tasty little fish on a cracker or something. In an effort to accomodate maybe you could trim on station, or one dessert choice for example. No one will miss it as long as what is there is scrumptious and you could save some money in the meantime.

Post # 10
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

A close friend of mine grew up in Australia, and from what she says Australians are much less comfortable with "showing off" than North Americans are. I agree with carrieitly<span class=”postby”> that you should ask your fiance explain that this is just how things are done in the U.S. and that serving a lot of food is seen as generous rather than boastful. (You can show them some of the over-the-top spreads in the wedding magazines as proof!)

Post # 11
38 posts
  • Wedding: November 2008

You may be able to guess by my name that I’m Australian 😉

We’re not a different species here, I think the difference is that the whole super-duper wedding thing hasn’t caught on here yet (as much, anyway). 

Generally most people don’t go all out crazy on their wedding menus, I think an entree, main and dessert (usually the cake) is the norm, with passed hors d’ouevres beforehand if there’s a big gap between the ceremony and dinnertime. 

Worst case, the Aussie contingent thinks "eh, crazy Americans". Most of us are accustomed to thinking it anyway ;P 

Post # 12
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

hmmmm….i would simply explain to his immediate family, you 2 together that is, that Its a cultural thing. That in your culture it is better to err on the side of ‘too much’ rather than what may be perceived as ‘too little’.

they will think its odd….but you probably think that them thinking that its too much food is odd, no?


Post # 13
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

It’s interesting to me that they told your Fiance, not you.  And I would say that, given they haven’t said anything to you, you can sort of ignore it.  It seems to me that if they just said it to your Fiance, its sort of a comment.  And he can just say, "Yeah, that’s they way things are here!  Americans eat a lot at weddings!"  I mean, they didn’t come to you and ask you to serve less food, right?  So go on ahead, do what you planned, and realize that people from another culture are going to compare it to what they are used to, and that’s fine.  I wouldn’t actually worry about it.  You know, everybody is actually talking about every decision you are making behind your back (Did you hear that she wants a blue cake?  Did you hear that she’s wearing cowboy boots/flip flops/Chucks with her dress?  Did you hear the GMs are wearing brown suits?  Isn’t that odd?)  Just ignore them and do what you want!  Who cares what they think?!

Post # 14
228 posts
Helper bee

Yay, suzanno   Amen.

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