(Closed) Too much going on in one year. I need advice

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

We got engaged and bought a house at the same time but were able to afford both with relevant ease.  That will depend on your budget tho.  When we were moving it was very stressful but I was still 11 months from the wedding so I wasn’t overwhelmed with planning.

As for your friends wedding I have a friend planning a trip to England and I know how much she’s saving so I know it can get expensive!  It seems like a reasonable thing to cut out, especially if you haven’t seen your friend in so long, but that is really up to you.  It’s a once in a lifetime (hopefully) occurence so maybe you do want to be there for her?

Post # 4
Member
993 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Yikes that seems like a ton!

I’m graduating, we’re travellng and getting married all in a few months.  I couldn’t imagine adding the house – I’m glad we’ll focus on that on its own.  Can you separate it into chunks?  Tack a honeymoon onto the wedding trip so you can relax?  Maybe hold back on buying the house till you recover from paying for the wedding (if you’re paying for it not parents or something).  It’s all super exciting, but if you’re feeling stressed why rush?

Post # 5
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yeah I did this. In one year I had surgery, moved to a new state, started a new job, bought a house, and got married. Actually all of that in about 6 months. 

It was incredibly stressful and I never want to do it again but now I’m married and settled and happy.

I don’t really have any advice but I do empathize.

Post # 6
Member
7761 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would definitely skip the friend’s wedding. Your own wedding, your own house, and finishing college (and I assume looking for a job) are way higher priorities. Simply tell the truth: you are too busy and can’t afford it.

Post # 8
Member
1832 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@paula1248:  Great advice!

 

Send your love and a card with a check, but skip going to Europe. Make travel plans to Europe for your honeymoon if possible, and take a day or two during your honeymoon to spend time with your very good friend and new husband. I call this a twofer, honeymoon and belated good friend/wedding visit in one. 😉

Post # 9
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think its ok to bow out of attending the other wedding…. maybe you can do a little dinner w her and the new Darling Husband a day or so before your wedding to celebrate w her? will she be staying for a long visit

Post # 12
Member
7761 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@babylo0n:  So if she doesn’t go to your wedding, that’s the way it is. I wouldn’t let that sway your decision on whether to spend a couple of thousand(?) dollars attending hers. If she gets upset and *expects* you to attend her wedding, then she’s not acting like a good friend.

Post # 13
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@babylo0n:  Would it be possible to extend your trip for her wedding into a honeymoon for you two? I think with it being so far and her just starting to plan her wedding, she might in the end not be able to go to yours either, which might help you not feel so guilty. Good luck!

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