- 7 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
I am an American girl who has lived in Rome for over six years, and I am marrying my Italian fiance in 7 weeks (gasp!)
I love my future in-laws to bits, but I cannot help feeling like this wedding is not bi-cultural, as it should be, but almost completely Italian. Fiance is the oldest child and only boy, and his parents (especially his father) are pretty traditional. I love traditions too, both Italian and American, and I love incorporating them in the wedding, but I also love new things, and being original, making the wedding about the couple (a completely unheard of thought here!)
The wedding is in Italy, with Italian food and wine, the ceremony is Catholic (my fam is protestant) and in Italian, of course. When I try to incorporated modern American trends, I hit a brick wall (both with the inlaws and often with Fiance himself) because “that’s not how things are done” in Italy! They are so worried about what the Italian guests will think if we break from tradition, and they don’t seem to realize half the guests will be AMERICAN! They are INSISTING on having us give elaborate favors (v Italian tradition) to all the guests, even though we both of us hate that idea because it’s such a waste of money. (FFIL is paying for them, but it still bothers me).
My parents are paying for about 70% of the wedding, and I feel like they are not involved in the planning process at all (because they are not physically here), and that they don’t have a say in anything. Even my wedding planner (who I am really starting to resent) looks at me like I’m crazy everytime I suggest something out of the ordinary. Like wanting to wear red shoes, have black as one of my accent colors, wear a birdcage veil, even wear short gloves instead of long gloves! In the end, I am donig all these things, but am prepared to see rolling eyes!
Future Father-In-Law loves to be the protagonist of every situation (he’s a wonderful, loving man, but quite overbearing) and has planned a speech and asked me to translate so his daughter can read the english version as he reads the italian one. It’s long and unbelievably sappy… as only Italian can be. Not only will the Americans think it’s ridiculous, I am afraid my dad will feel less important at the wedding, and out of place, because Future Father-In-Law will be the unofficial EMCEE, and it’s my dad who’s footing the bill.
Sorry this is such a vent-post. What can I do to make the wedding more American? How can I get it through to them that this is not a traditional Italian wedding because, if you haven’t noticed, the bride is American!!