(Closed) Too much technology?

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
9518 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Not a fan of chik-fila but they have a family challenge at some locations. If familes can put their phones away in a box during dinner they can have a free dessert. You can do the same. Challenge yourselves to put away the phones for X amount of time then have a reward at the end. It sounds hard but it is easy with practice

Post # 3
3895 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Same thing here. It occasionally bothers us, me more than him so we put it away for a couple hours. When i go on a walk sometimes I will leave the phone at home. I know we are addicted to it. But honestly with the level of stress we have, and trying to beat food addiction (me more than him) and planning the wedding and not wanting to get addicted to anything worse (I honestly feel like I have an addictive personallity) i feel that having a phone addiction is the least of my worries. I get a lot of wedding stuff done on my phone, browsing, the bee… it keeps me occupied. If we go out I often try to not take the phone out of my purse and ask him not to be on it as well while we are eating and talking.

Post # 4
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I was just thinking about this, because we often do the same. I have been trying in public, like when I’m out and about or at a restaurant or event, etc. to NOT have my phone out all the time, and I think that’s going well but at home I still struggle! DH is a sports junkie so that’s usually what he’s looking at. Definitely something to work on!

Post # 5
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I feel the same way. Its a habit for me because I use my phone a lot at work and when I come home I use it a lot as well. DH is on it all the time, its like glued to his fingers lol. He mostly watches funny videos on his and he’ll show me a funny one or two during dinner or after. Usually after dinner we do our own thing, he’ll play video games or on his phone and I prepare for work the next day or read (he is NOT a reader at all). We tried to have a no phones after 9pm rule but it did not work even for a day. But if we go out for date night we have no phones allowed rule during dinner and he actuallt gets upset if I get a text from work that I have to reply to soon. 

Post # 6
380 posts
Helper bee

DH and I used to be like that. It was very frustrating for both of us. So we decided to take things into matter. I’d admit that it was harder for DH to leave his cellphone/3DS alone than it was for me, but it helped that he acknowledged he had a problem with it. Now we have established times and placed to use and NOT use our cellphones, 3DS and laptops. It was “hard” at first, mostly because we were breaking a long time habit, but the benefits of being offline for most of our relationship are worth it.

Post # 7
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I totally get it. My DH plays some war game on his phone almost constantly, he’s played it for the past 2 years easily. We can’t watch a tv show or a movie together without him being on it. I like to browse Pinterest and the Bee, but it’s not nearly to the addiction-like extent he has with his phone. It took a lot of heated discussion just to establish the bed as a no phone zone. 

Post # 8
691 posts
Busy bee

We don’t have a problem with our phones always being on any more, but it used to be a minor issue until one day we realized we had been sitting staring at our phones in silence for about 30 minutes. We realized that was a problem, and it drawing us apart. We don’t get to see each other much during the day, so when we’re together, phones are not a priority.

When we eat dinner out, the phone stays in my purse. At home, the phone just sits on the counter or table in case someone calls. But we typically do not actively browse. We do not sit on the phones while in bed (and it’s bad for your sleep too). I can’t imagine staring at a screen for hours unless I’m at work being productive.

It may feel a little weird at first eating dinner and not worrying about whether your phone is in your line of sight (how horrible does this sound?!), but you’ll get used to it. It’s very freeing to not be glued to it. Your relationship will improve too, and you’ll realize what you were looking at on your phone is not as important as you think.

Post # 9
2554 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m probably worse than DH about being on my phone, but he is worse about being on it around our daughter (who is two). It seriously is an addiction and something I want us to work on. DH is away for work right now but when he gets home I HAVE to talk seriously to him about it. We have two kids now and I am feeling bad about how much I’m on my phone. Some times I will make an effort to put my phone aside and my daughter will see it and bring it to me saying “here you go mommy” and soooo much guilt sets in.

Post # 10
1311 posts
Bumble bee

Personally I think there’s certain places cellphones should never be allowed, such as the dinner table or the bedroom. It’s fine to do some browsing here and there while watching tv in the living room while vegging out, yeah, there’s certainly a point when you’re using too much technology. 

Maybe it’ll be helpful to impliment “cell phone free” times (such as dinner and while in bed), or you could find things to do together that don’t require a phone (such as a walk outdoors or playing tennis).

I’m not gonna lie, DH and I also use the time after work to basically veg and be on our phones, of course while talking to each other and engaging. It’s a really bad habit but we use our phones to read each other useful articles or to research stuff together, or just to show the other person a funny cat video. Technology can be fine as long as you don’t abuse it.

Post # 11
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

When my Fiance and I started dating I made my feelings about cellphones and over-use known. I will not tolerate talking to someone, and seeing them take out their phone. It’s rude. So that’s never been an issue. 

Post # 12
1146 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

View original reply
teacherbee01 :  I don’t like how stuck in technology we are either but it’s not to the extent you’ve described. I recommend setting some rules and be disciplined about it. I know it’s hard but what helps me is thinking about the future, what will I look back on? Will I look back at the fun times I had with my FH, the conversations we had and inside jokes we’ve created or will I look back on who followed me on Instagram? Some rules could be: no phones at the dinner table, set aside one day a week to do something fun together without phones, like walking in a park for a bit or a hobby, watch TV together and close your phones when you go to sleep. The light from cell phones and laptops (blue light) also affects a person’s sleep habits, so look at it from a health perspective as well.

you can do it!

Post # 13
1930 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

We don’t have this problem.

I, for one, don’t have a cell phone. Haven’t for a few years now. (Although I will be getting one shortly because it’s getting too difficult not to have one, lol. I won’t abuse it, though.)

I like my forums and what not, but Fiance and I are active. We play sports 4x/week and we don’t even really have a show… We’re too busy.

I won’t e friends with people hwo live on their phones. I’m exciting enough, thank you, lol.

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