(Closed) Too much to ask?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7656 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

First of all, you should have some sort of confidentiality agreement with the printer that prohibits them from showing others your invites. Second, who is paying for the wedding is going to be a big question asked because if FMIL is chipping in etiquette technically says she gets a say in who is invited.

This is going to be really tough if FI isn’t onboard. May I ask why it bothers you so much that she wants extra people but your FI isn’t bothered?

Post # 4
772 posts
Busy bee

OP said she isnt chipping in at all.  Shes being a wedding hog and needs to back off.

Post # 5
4525 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@myamyas:  She is not helping financially with any of it.

^^That is your trump card right there: No pay? No say.

I’d read my printer the riot act for showing her the proofs. Your FI doesnt seem to care, so I’d take it upon myself to firmly tell her “We cannot afford to have extra guests. The list is complete and we cannot take on any more people. Thank you for understanding.”

Also, depending on who you ask, you shouldnt send “Save-the-Dates” to people who arent invited, since it’s purpose is to remind the recipient to block off that date for your wedding. If you FMIL has succeeded in sending them to people who arent invited, I’d let her know that SHE gets to clarify with them that they aren’t invited.

Post # 7
4442 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@myamyas:  Have you explained the potential cost difference in 120 people vs. how ever many FMIL wants to invite?  That should get your FH on board QUICK!

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