Post # 1
Ok so this is kinda long. Yes, A rant .
Call me selfish, uncaring, maybe even a little childish but I’m so tired of
our long distance relationship(distance wise) and feeling neglected. No he doesn’t do it on purpose
I mean you kinda get in your own groove when you’re SO is thousands of miles away for months on end
I just would like for once to be the center of attention, yeah I said it.
I spend 6 to 8 months in the middle east at a time and I kinda get a lil irritated when the “boys” can’t respect that (If you see my baby everyday or are within hrs distance from him…give up the time so I can talk to him from Iraq…jerkface).
I get a lil annoyed at the priority list when I finally do come home, I’m stuck in the house because he’s either at the hospital with a loved one(which I have no problem with),running around doing things for his “business” or too pooped to pot. All I want is a lil time, conscious time alone. And if things weren’t bad enough the weekly hospital visits for him are driving me nuts!! Does anybody know what it’s like for your SO to be fighting cancer and you’re in another country and can’t do a damn thing…arrrrrr. I feel so conflicted at times, I want his attention but I want him to take care of himself (even though I feel like I could take better care of him). And before anyone asks, I can’t just run home and be by his side…I’ll lose the job that’s paying for his meds, the house, the car….hell everything. It’s so much I just want to scream, cry, and roll around on the floor…ok not so much the floor thing but you know what I’m talking about. I know it may seem petty but I just want him to myself for a lil, to hold and take care of….without any interruptions (well aside from his mother and his daughters). Is that such a horrible, selfish thing for me to want.
Post # 3
I can’t imagine what your situation is like, but it sounds like you are definitely in one of those really tough places in life. Are there any options that can get you two at least closer to each other or have less time between visits? You might want to consider how long this will have to go on and whether there are any viable options – if it is palatable and will only be another little bit, maybe you could hold on. If it is going to be longer, maybe there are things you can compromise on? I know there are no easy answers. At the very least do you have any kind of support near you?
Hang in there! This time will end and there will be better, easier days, even if you can’t see it now. *hugs*
Post # 4
Really sorry to read you feel so conflicted. It must be terriibly overwhelming. It is only obvoius that a situation like that, even though I can’t even begin to fit your shoes on, would be terrible for anyone. Thing is, not many people could bare to stay through it. Which makes you a very special person. But it does sound like, regardless, hes having a much more harder time than you are. And it also sounds like this might just be one of those situations when you should really compromise some things, just to avoid giving him any more grief. Maybe having all those things to keep him occupied is actually good at this point. After all, you are really far away. So maybe you should see it the other way around: at least hes not alone in the process, even if that means you might feel like you are.
Post # 5
Oddly enough, 20 mins after i wrote this post he told me he was sending me an email…..I thought I was in trouble, but he seems in good spirits today. Thank God. Our situation is very unique I will admit and I know its been awfully hard for him. He just sent me a text telling me how much he appreciates me even if I don’t think he does. Love has kept us together, I can say that much, from the 8 yr difference to the long distance the last 2 1/2 yrs….he’s been so patient with me and my growing phase.
Post # 6
@ms.moonlight: Thanks for the uplift. I wish there was a way to be closer but I’m a contractor and he’s laid off trying to tend to a dying mother(tear in the puddle). He works so hard and practically refuses to leave her side. I’m leaving for the states in 16 days so there is definitely an upside. I just hate being away when he’s sick the way he is.