Too old for children?

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
5566 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

I completely disagree that 33 and 40 is “missing the boat” for children. If you want children you will absolutely not be too old.

Post # 3
Member
1201 posts
Bumble bee

My uncle married his wife when she was 36 or 37.  They didn’t have their first daughter until she was 38.  Now they’re pregnant again with their second.  

My ex’s mom remarried a much younger man who wanted children.  She had her tubal ligation reversed and gave birth to twins at 50!!!! You will certainly not be too old!

Post # 4
Member
9429 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Uhh we plan to TTC again in a few months and Darling Husband would be 40 when the kid is born if we conceive pretty quickly. Definitely not too old IMO.

Post # 5
Member
5049 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

Hi, I am turning 34 next month and I am currently 12 weeks pregnant.  This is our first child, possibly only child.  Everyone has a different experience but we conceived on the fourth cycle of trying.  All my blood tests have come back normal with no concerns.

I personally don’t think either of you will be missing the boat at age 33/40.  If you are concerned about potential risks you could take a proactive approach and see a genetic counselor ahead of time for testing for both you and your husband.

Post # 6
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee

Most of my friends are nearing or already 40 and 3 of them just had their first children.  

33 and 40 is definitely not too old.

Post # 7
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Definitely not too old! My parents were 35 & 37 when I was born and I loved having mature parents. They were financially stable and secure in their relationship when I came around and that stability is really beneficial to a child in my opinion.  

Post # 8
Member
676 posts
Busy bee

I guess for ME I, I would like all child bearing years to be done by 35… told SO that… That is just because I dont personally want to still have dependent kids in my 50s (besides college if they choose to go).

But I dont think its too old for anyone else… 

Post # 9
Member
751 posts
Busy bee

40+ fathers are becoming more common for sure. As long as both your sets of bits are working fine there’s no reason you can’t wait a few more years 

Post # 10
Member
2198 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

is102017 :  I’m 35.5 and my guy is newly 45, and I am pregnant with our first kid.  Yeah it’d be ideal if we were both a little younger.  But we are both youthful and healthy (I get carded 100% of the time, he has more energy than any guy friend my age), so I think we’re gonna be ok.  And because we are older, we are more established in our careers and finances and our approach to life.  It is what it is.  Definitely better this than never have a family!

Oh and I got pregnant our very first cycle trying, so while age does have some effect on fertility, it’s not all automatic doom and gloom.

Post # 11
Member
6603 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

is102017 :  I had my first at 36 and he’s totally fine (except today when he’s miserable). My mother in law had her last two after 40. Both are fine.  It’s a risk, I was nervous about it but unless your family has a risky history, there is probably nothing to worry about at 33.

Post # 12
Member
1062 posts
Bumble bee

My Darling Husband is 45 and I’m 40. I can’t image having kids at our ages. I’d be 60 by the time the kid would graduate high school, no thanks! 

Post # 13
Member
7778 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I had a baby last year at 40. So I don’t think you are too old at all.

Post # 14
Member
2217 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

is102017 :  This is such a super personal decision, but here’s what I can say about my own experience.

I had my daughter when I was 21. I got married young ; my mom had me at 20 and was always vocal about her belief that everyone was better off if they had their children young and got on with their lives. This position, like many of her beliefs about parenting, was a bunch of crap.

When my ex and I split up, it was always my intention to have more kids. This continued to be true right up until they took out my uterus when I was 38.

While it’s true that I don’t have the same energy I did at 21, I have a much MUCH greater store of patience, maturity, and wisdom to bring to parenting. If FH and I had met a year earlier than we did, we might still have had a baby together.

As it is, my daughter is 18 and in no hurry to have kids, so I’m just going to hunker down and wait for grandkids.

If your concerns are biological, the standard line about fertility and the possibility of birth defects rising dramatically after 30 are based on outdated data and largely debunked. People generally take much better care of themselves than they used to and with proper prenatal care you can have a healthy baby well into your 40’s and beyond.

No one can tell you what amounts to “too old” for you. Lifestyle, finances, and personal values all play into the picture. You still have time to mull things over, and make a choice in either direction. Whichever you choose, it will be fine.

Post # 15
Member
574 posts
Busy bee

is102017 :  I personally don’t think you have & know lots of ppl having their 1st child in their mid to late 30’s, including me if I’m lucky enough to have children. But if you feel too old now that’s not going to change as you get older.  only you know your health, financial & life circumstances & to me they are bigger considerations when it comes to having children than age. 

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