(Closed) Too old to be a flower girl but dying to help… My 8 yo neice… what to do?!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What to do with my FG/Jr BM situation?
    Have one 4yo RB (nephew), one 5yo FG (GMs daughter), one 8yo FG (neice). : (19 votes)
    41 %
    Have one 4yo RB (nephew), one 5yo FG (GMs daughter), one 8yo FG (neice) & one 7yo FG (girl I nanny). : (1 votes)
    2 %
    Have one 4yo RB (nephew), one 5yo FG (GMs daughter) & make both 8yo & 14yo neices Jr BMs. : (16 votes)
    35 %
    Have one 4yo RB (nephew), one 5yo FG (GMs daughter) & let neices help elsewhere. : (10 votes)
    22 %
  • Post # 3
    561 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    Don’t worry youself with trying to include everyone in the roles that they expect to be in! I know this sounds harsh, especially considering it’s your eight year old neice, but trust me, she’ll undestand. It sounds to me like you already feel like you have a lot of bridesmaids, so I wouldn’t suggest adding them as junior bridesmaids. My younger sister and I were the go to flowers girls for family weddings for a few years (no female cousins quite our age), and we understood when we were too old to be flower girls anymore. Honestly, at eight I would have felt a bit silly. I was junior bridesmaid at fourteen in my oldest sister’s wedding, and though it was nice to be part of the wedding, it was a bit weird because, as a junior bridesmaid, you don’t really get to be included in a lot of the traditional wedding party activities, and I was too young to really appreciate it anyways. I would have much preferred manning the guest book table, or handing out favors, etc. Take them out for mani pedis with your bridesmaids if you want, give them special necklaces or something to wear in their hair, and let them man the guestbook table, or hand out favors. They’ll feel special, and be helpful.


    Post # 4
    4 posts
    • Wedding: July 2013

    My neice will be 8 yrs old next year by the time she is my flower girl. I don’t agree that 8 yrs old is too old to be a flower girl, but at the same time she is cute and little. You just have to remember it’s YOUR wedding and you should do what you feel is right no matter how it looks. Now if your not close to your niece that’s understandable not choosing her to be a flower girl. I adore my niece and would never leave her out even if she was 11-13 she’d be a Jr Bridesmaid, but then again that’s me. I would want the most important people in my life to be in my wedding and not people, because they look a part.

    Post # 5
    1071 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I am having my fiancee’s 11 year old hold my veil as I walk down the isle.  It is a nice way to include her since she is too young to be a bridesmaid and too old to be an Flower Girl.

    Post # 6
    420 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I voted for option B so that everyone is included and the 14yo can be a Bridesmaid or Best Man like she was hoping 🙂

    Post # 7
    1902 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I think she should be involved. Even though it’s cute to have tiny flower girls, the age/size thing isn’t really an issue anymore, unless the couple getting married want it to be. If you’re close to this niece and you want her to be involved, then there is bound to be some way to involve her! Whether she’s a flower girl, junior bridesmaid, or some other kind of attendant.

    Post # 8
    1813 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I had DH’s god-daughter and her sister to hand out rice to the guests as they left the church.  And my nieces to hand out wedding favours (traditional way in Greece to give as they leave the church).  I gave them all a little corsage to wear on their wrist to make them stand ot and they were really happy with that.  Could something similar work for you?

    Post # 9
    9955 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    When I married the first time (circa 1980) I had a similar predicament with a young cousin (if I recall correctly she was about 10 at the time)… in the end she manned my Guest Book and at one point during the Reception went about table to table with it in hand, asking if everyone had signed.

    She was cute… and she really loved helping out.  Lol, it was one less thing for us to worry about during the Reception, meant we could concentrate on other things, like “visiting with our Guests”, handing out Wedding Cake, and of course Drinking & Dancing into the wee hours.

    Hope this helps,


    Post # 10
    68 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I come from a big family where there was an expectation that all my close cousins would be involved in the wedding. It would have been MAJOR drama if they hadn’t.

    As a result, I ending up asking my 2 cousins (age 11 and 13) to be junior bridesmaids. We had a nephew and my godson around the same age so it evened out on both sides of the wedding party. Our wedding party ended up being larger than I had anticipated, but it made everyone happy. They were thrilled to be part of the big day and it really wasn’t that big of a deal to include them.

    Post # 11
    4432 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I plan on having a 6 y/o (almost 7 by next year) flower girl….I really don’t think there should be a standard for this.  She is my best friends daughter, and calls me her Aunt Dee…I can’t and couldn’t think of any other person to be my flower girl!


    Post # 12
    115 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    im having my 10 & 13 nieces as JR BMs..

    Post # 13
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee

    Whatever you decide to do, I would rule out asking the 7 year old that you nanny for to take a role in the wedding as a “placeholder” when you don’t plan to have a long-lasting relationship with her in the future. If you’re just using her for the sake of symmetry … then you are worrying a little too much about symmetry.

    Involve your family in the wedding, they are the ones who will be walking with you throughout your life and supporting you in the marriage.

    Post # 14
    4676 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I love getting the families involved in the wedding.  I am having my FI’s neices as my jr. Bridesmaids and Flowergirl.  They are about 11, 8 and 6.  And they are so excited to be involved.  For me this is all I care about.  

    Post # 15
    41 posts

    One of my SO’s daughters REALLY wants to be a flower girl but she will be 8 by the wedding too.  I am going to make her a Jr. Bridesmaid and she can walk down the isle with her flower girl sister who will be 3 at the time.

    Post # 16
    95 posts
    Worker bee

    I don’t think 8 is too old to be a Flower Girl, but then I was one in a family wedding when I was 9. I would also try to include the 14yo, especially if both her parents are two siblings are involved!! 

    The topic ‘Too old to be a flower girl but dying to help… My 8 yo neice… what to do?!’ is closed to new replies.

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