Post # 1
I am struck with terrible bridal party decisions…
I already have a bridal party of 6 BMs because I didn’t want to leave any of my “sisters” and any of my core friends out so here’s what I have:
3 BFFs – 1 blood sister – brother’s wife – FI’s sister
Now my ring bearer will be my 4yo nephew (brother’s son) and the only flower girl I was going to have is a GM’s 5yo daughter that I love… but my 8yo neice REALLY wants to be a flower girl so I was going to oblige but she’s EIGHT and nearly 5′ tall and idk is sort of past her flower girl prime if you ask me ((she was flower girl in a few weddings when she was younger so she loves it and will do a good job but still…))
SO I have a predicament.
a) let 8yo neice be a flower girl and ADD the 7yo girl I nanny to balance it out with heights and ages and give a little symmetry… even tho I WILL lose contact with this 7yo because I know I won’t be her nanny forever but I will have the pictures…
b) only have 1 Ring Bearer & 1 Flower Girl and make BOTH my 8yo niece & 14 yo niece Jr BMs to include everyone in my brother’s family (Both him & SIL are in our bridal party, his son is Ring Bearer & his daughters are the 8yo & 14yo… my 14yo niece thought she might get to be a bridesmaid initially but my bridal party was so big and she’s so young that I didn’t think that was applicable… until now I guess). This scenario would set our bridal party at 6 BMs, 4 GMs, 2 Ushers, 2 JrBMs, 1 Flower Girl & 1 Ring Bearer… yikes!
c) only have 1Ring Bearer & 1Flower Girl and tell 8 yo neice that she can do something else in the wedding (14 yo was going to do the greeting table at the front so she could help with that?)
Please cast your vote.
What would you do?
Suggestions are welcome!
Post # 3
Don’t worry youself with trying to include everyone in the roles that they expect to be in! I know this sounds harsh, especially considering it’s your eight year old neice, but trust me, she’ll undestand. It sounds to me like you already feel like you have a lot of bridesmaids, so I wouldn’t suggest adding them as junior bridesmaids. My younger sister and I were the go to flowers girls for family weddings for a few years (no female cousins quite our age), and we understood when we were too old to be flower girls anymore. Honestly, at eight I would have felt a bit silly. I was junior bridesmaid at fourteen in my oldest sister’s wedding, and though it was nice to be part of the wedding, it was a bit weird because, as a junior bridesmaid, you don’t really get to be included in a lot of the traditional wedding party activities, and I was too young to really appreciate it anyways. I would have much preferred manning the guest book table, or handing out favors, etc. Take them out for mani pedis with your bridesmaids if you want, give them special necklaces or something to wear in their hair, and let them man the guestbook table, or hand out favors. They’ll feel special, and be helpful.
Post # 4
My neice will be 8 yrs old next year by the time she is my flower girl. I don’t agree that 8 yrs old is too old to be a flower girl, but at the same time she is cute and little. You just have to remember it’s YOUR wedding and you should do what you feel is right no matter how it looks. Now if your not close to your niece that’s understandable not choosing her to be a flower girl. I adore my niece and would never leave her out even if she was 11-13 she’d be a Jr Bridesmaid, but then again that’s me. I would want the most important people in my life to be in my wedding and not people, because they look a part.
Post # 5
I am having my fiancee’s 11 year old hold my veil as I walk down the isle. It is a nice way to include her since she is too young to be a bridesmaid and too old to be an Flower Girl.
Post # 6
I voted for option B so that everyone is included and the 14yo can be a Bridesmaid or Best Man like she was hoping 🙂
Post # 7
I think she should be involved. Even though it’s cute to have tiny flower girls, the age/size thing isn’t really an issue anymore, unless the couple getting married want it to be. If you’re close to this niece and you want her to be involved, then there is bound to be some way to involve her! Whether she’s a flower girl, junior bridesmaid, or some other kind of attendant.
Post # 8
I had DH’s god-daughter and her sister to hand out rice to the guests as they left the church. And my nieces to hand out wedding favours (traditional way in Greece to give as they leave the church). I gave them all a little corsage to wear on their wrist to make them stand ot and they were really happy with that. Could something similar work for you?
Post # 9
When I married the first time (circa 1980) I had a similar predicament with a young cousin (if I recall correctly she was about 10 at the time)… in the end she manned my Guest Book and at one point during the Reception went about table to table with it in hand, asking if everyone had signed.
She was cute… and she really loved helping out. Lol, it was one less thing for us to worry about during the Reception, meant we could concentrate on other things, like “visiting with our Guests”, handing out Wedding Cake, and of course Drinking & Dancing into the wee hours.
Hope this helps,
Post # 10
I come from a big family where there was an expectation that all my close cousins would be involved in the wedding. It would have been MAJOR drama if they hadn’t.
As a result, I ending up asking my 2 cousins (age 11 and 13) to be junior bridesmaids. We had a nephew and my godson around the same age so it evened out on both sides of the wedding party. Our wedding party ended up being larger than I had anticipated, but it made everyone happy. They were thrilled to be part of the big day and it really wasn’t that big of a deal to include them.
Post # 11
I plan on having a 6 y/o (almost 7 by next year) flower girl….I really don’t think there should be a standard for this. She is my best friends daughter, and calls me her Aunt Dee…I can’t and couldn’t think of any other person to be my flower girl!
Post # 12
im having my 10 & 13 nieces as JR BMs..
Post # 13
Whatever you decide to do, I would rule out asking the 7 year old that you nanny for to take a role in the wedding as a “placeholder” when you don’t plan to have a long-lasting relationship with her in the future. If you’re just using her for the sake of symmetry … then you are worrying a little too much about symmetry.
Involve your family in the wedding, they are the ones who will be walking with you throughout your life and supporting you in the marriage.
Post # 14
I love getting the families involved in the wedding. I am having my FI’s neices as my jr. Bridesmaids and Flowergirl. They are about 11, 8 and 6. And they are so excited to be involved. For me this is all I care about.
Post # 15
One of my SO’s daughters REALLY wants to be a flower girl but she will be 8 by the wedding too. I am going to make her a Jr. Bridesmaid and she can walk down the isle with her flower girl sister who will be 3 at the time.
Post # 16
I don’t think 8 is too old to be a Flower Girl, but then I was one in a family wedding when I was 9. I would also try to include the 14yo, especially if both her parents are two siblings are involved!!