(Closed) Too old to be a flower girl but dying to help… My 8 yo neice… what to do?!

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What to do with my FG/Jr BM situation?

    Have one 4yo RB (nephew), one 5yo FG (GMs daughter), one 8yo FG (neice).

    Have one 4yo RB (nephew), one 5yo FG (GMs daughter), one 8yo FG (neice) & one 7yo FG (girl I nanny).

    Have one 4yo RB (nephew), one 5yo FG (GMs daughter) & make both 8yo & 14yo neices Jr BMs.

    Have one 4yo RB (nephew), one 5yo FG (GMs daughter) & let neices help elsewhere.

  • Post # 3
    1637 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    If you’re having a big wedding then I’d say make her a junior Bridesmaid or Best Man. If you’re having a small wedding and you’re beginning to have too many BMs etc I’d have her read a short reading or something.

    Post # 4
    417 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Helping at the guest table, passing out programs… I think there are probably plenty of things she could do that wouldn’t result in you increasing your bridal party any more, which it sounds like you don’t want to do.

    Can you get her and the 14 year old a wrist corsage or something just to make them feel special and included? We knew our 8 year-old niece didn’t want to be in the ceremony (and she is one of those 8 going on 25 year olds, so definitely not flower girl material), but we got her a small bouquet that looked like my MOH’s bouquet, which apparently she loved (not that she told her new auntie that, harrumph).

    Post # 7
    1206 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    OK….  in my opinion, you can’t have one neice in your party and one out….  so I think they either both need to be in, or both need new jobs (which at this point sounds like the best option since your bridal party is so big)  but I personally would leave the child you nanny out, either way

    Good luck

    Post # 9
    543 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    When my aunt got married, I was a 9 year old, 5’1″ flower girl. I was taller than one of the BMs, and an inch shorter than my Mom, who was MoH. My brother, who was 7, was the RB.


    Post # 11
    259 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    @Sparkidoodle:  exactly this. I totally agree. The two nieces would probably feel bad if one is in the bridal party and the other isn’t. They need to both be in the party, or not and doing some other job. 

    Post # 12
    1935 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I voted for the first option before I read that the 14 yo niece would left out.  I don’t think that’s a good idea either. I think you should just let them help out somewhere else.  

    Post # 13
    390 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I am having my FI’s neice who wil be 10 yo by the time of our wedding as a flower girl with my best friends LITTLE year and a half old. Our ring bearers will be 5 and 4 years old…I don’t really understand the age limit on a flower girl to be honest. I couldn’t imagine telling my Fi’s neice that she is too old/tall/etc to be a flower girl when her little heart is so set on it.

    Post # 14
    21 posts
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I would make the 8 yr old a flowergirl w/the 5 yr old. I would make the 14 yr old a jr bridesmaid.

    Post # 15
    995 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @Dreamlover:  agreed. 2 flower girls, and one Jr bridesmaid.  Keep all the neices involves, if they want to be. 

    And let the 8-year-old be a flower girl if that’s what she wants to be. Girls grow up too fast: if she still sees herself as a flower girl, let her be… don’t go telling her she’s “too old” no matter how tall she is.

    Post # 16
    20 posts

    Could you have her do something like play a song on the piano at the reception? 


    If she wants to be a flower girl, she isn’t too old. You could also have her hold your bouquet opposed to having your Maid/Matron of Honor do it.


    My Maid/Matron of Honor is going to be 10, she is my sister, with my bridesmaid being 12, my FI’s sister.

    The topic ‘Too old to be a flower girl but dying to help… My 8 yo neice… what to do?!’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors