(Closed) too pushy? What are your thoughts ladies…

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2158 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t think that’s too pushy at all! It’s an honest question, and he did tell you to ask everything on your mind.  One question is not shoving marriage down his throat, plus he’s already not against marriage, so he should be willing to answer that question and not be freaked out.  Even if it does surprise him a bit, he seems to want you in his life for a long time coming, so it shouldn’t repel him at all and it might make him really think about it.

Post # 4
Member
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@adnama:  I second!!

Post # 6
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t think it’s pushy, I think it’s honest.  There’s a difference between saying “I want to get married yesterday and this is Priority Number One and either you’re on board or you’re gone” and saying “hey, do you think you might want to get married and have kids one day down the line?”  What you said is definitely closer to the second option.  If those things are priorities to you, you need to know that they’re important to him too- if you want to get married and have kids, you’re entitled at a certain point to make sure the man you’re with is on the same page, at least in theory, because if he’s not, you aren’t going to change his mind and you need to move on.

I think you were perfectly restrained and asked it right without being pushy.  He opened that door, maybe it’s what he was hoping to hear to sure himself up.  ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I don’t think it’s pushy at ALL.  It sounds like he will be open to your question.  It’s going to be a difficult wait while you send it, he gets it, writes you back, and sends his, geez, that would drive me nuts!  Good luck. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@Peachcream:  I dont’ feel like it’s too pushy, considering he asked you what your opinion was. Y ou should give it to him straight. I think he was sticking his toes in the water with his nice note. It was lacking specifics, but THIS for a MAN to write is saying a lot. It takes guts to put your vulnerabilities out there, so I’m proud of him for bringing it up in the first place. Lay it out there for him. He might secretly be hoping you will so that he can delve into the topic with you. And if you have different goals, at least you know what you can compromise on and what you simply can’t.

Post # 9
Member
97 posts
Worker bee

not pushy at all. you are being honest about your feelings and if you are not brave enough to be honest with him, your relationship will not move forward. stop stressing ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 10
Member
346 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Not too pushy you were upfront and honest in your question asking. Nothing wrong with knowing if you guys are on the sam page or will be.

Post # 12
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Peachcream:  

re post with “update”!!looking forward to hearing from you! I bet he’s just feeling you out for a proposal!

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