Post # 1
I’ll set the scene first if I may 🙂
I’m vegetarian, my fiance eats what I cook but is technically an omnivore. My sister and a few friends are also vegetarian.
We’re having an italian buffet for the wedding food. Pastas, stonebaked pizzas and breads, salad etc.
I rang the hotel to explain that I wanted the vegetarian food integrated into the buffet, like make half the pasta dishes vegetarian, half the pizzas etc. i didn’t think this was a weird request. The hotel want ‘numbers’ of vegetarians and wanted to serve them seperately which I really don’t want. At my engagement party I cooked a lot of the food myself (i’m a pretty good cook, my dad is a professional chef) and I noticed more people were eating the vegetarian foodoverall because everyone wanted some and only some people wanted the meat aswell, but not instead of the meat free food.
Not to mention it’s our wedding at the end of the day, I don’t want to be made to feel different, I want to be able to try at least some of the dishes I’m paying for!
I’m not very assertive and my Fiance is often on duty when the hotel can see us. I’ve asked my sister (an events/business/wedding planner) who is my Maid/Matron of Honor to come with me as she is much more assertive but she’s swamped at work and won’t always have a free weekend to come and bail out her soft sister!
How can I make sure I don’t get squashed by pushy wedding vendors without being unreasonable to them? They make me feel unreasonable to push for what I want but I don’t think i’m being unreasonable!
Thanks in advance!
Post # 3
I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. Perhaps 1 reason they want a number is that in many sauces I’m sure as you know there can be random animal products, beef broth etc. If you feel you wont be able to be assertive in person try writting an email stating 100% what you want and that is it. That you do not want individual meals for yourself and other vegetarian guests. If they push further then I would have your sister or someone call, and hopefully they could take a moment to do that for you.
Post # 4
@Bram: Thankyou! An email is a good idea, I might be able to get my thoughts together better in writing than in person when i’m worrying and feeling pressured!
Post # 5
Oh goodness, I’ve been worrying about this as well…
I’m a veggie, my mum is a veggie and the other half is a carnivore unless I’m cooking and strangley my dad’s a proffesional chef too.
It’s not an unreasonable request at all, I can see though how some recipes and pizzas will have to be cooked seperately, which may cause a few “issues”.
I personally am terrible at holding my tongue and would suggest to head back to school and into a maths lesson.
“I have 150* guests, I want half to be vegetarian so that is 75* guests portions to be vegetarian and included in the buffet”.
I agree with Bram – email the hotel with your instructions see how that goes, if they continue to push, get the other half on the phone to discuss further and perhaps see if the hotel can compromise.
Post # 6
I’d just say that half your guests are vegetarians. They don’t need to know the specifics, or whether it’s true or not, but they should be following the numbers you give them (whether they question them or not!). They are choosing to be difficult about something that you want, and I don’t really feel like it is necessary for you to have to justify your reasoning. Play their game, and just give them numbers.
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
A lot of people pick vegetarian options anyway- most women seem to pick cheese vs. meat pizza, for example. You’re not being unreasonable- tell them you want half without meat. If there are 4 types of pizza, make 2 cheese. 3 pastas-make one vegetarian.