(Closed) Too soon for marrriage?

posted 6 years ago in 20 Something
  • poll: What do you think?
    They really should wait. . . : (234 votes)
    87 %
    If it's love, it's love. : (36 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    241 posts
    Helper bee

    Personally, I feel that she is probably too young. When I think back to the person I was at her age, I was an idiot that didn’t know what I really wanted or even who I was. The saddest part was that I couldn’t see this was the truth until a few years had passed.

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    1360 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’m 18, Fiance is 29, and we are both financially secure and ready to get married. When we get married, we will have been together a year and a half. We got engaged right after 6 months.

    Love isn’t an age thing; it’s a commitment thing. As long as they’re both ready to jump in with each other for life, I don’t see why age really matters.

    If it’s love, it’s love. She could be pregnant, but she could also just be in this for the long haul. Some couples do that; it isn’t the majority, but it definitely happens.

    I wish them the best of luck!

    Post # 5
    Member
    339 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I don’t think anybody but those two know. I can’t judge either way. Every person and every couple is so different and has such a unique life story that honestly, why judge? They can make their own choices. If it ends badly for them, that sucks, but it ends badly for 50% of marriages anyways. How can anybody claim to have figured it out? All you can do is figure it out for yourself. No good in judging others’ choices about marriage, you just can’t know.

    Maybe it’s too soon for you, but just because it seems too soon for you doesn’t mean that also applies to them. I don’t know why we do this as humans. You can choose to wait for your own marriage. They’re the only ones who know what is best for them, and nobody else’s opinion really matters.

    Post # 6
    Member
    9917 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Your brain doesn’t even stop developing until about age 25.  Puberty doesn’t end at 18 — in fact, you’re only halfway through.  That makes me so nervous for young people who get married…  However, I think people can fall in love when they’re really young, but only if they’re prepared to grow together.  If they expect everything to stay the same, they’re fooling themselves.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3170 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Well I’m 22 and my fiance is 40 so the age thing is stupid. It’s just a number and doesnt matter if the two people are compatible. Now, I do think they should be together longer before the decide to get married but no one can tell them to stop, it’s their choice and they’ll have to live with their decision. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    339 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @Birdee106:  Agreed. People telling them they shouldn’t aren’t going to do any good, and it’s pretty mean to say. If you’re a concerned friend, you might bring it up gently. But saying, “you’re too young, you don’t know each other well enough, you shouldn’t get married” is just going to be met with “what a ****.”

    Post # 9
    Member
    1360 posts
    Bumble bee

    @Birdee106:  Exactly. Age isn’t even an issue in this, because some 18 year olds are just as mature as 30 year olds.

     

    Sure, they got engaged quick. But had they both been 40 and 45 respectively and gotten engaged in the same amount of time, would the opinion of others be different? Probably.

    Post # 10
    Member
    108 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I just figure if you’re going to be together forever then what does it hurt to wait a year.. Imo 4 months isn’t long enough to really know sOmeone completely. But there are plenty of people who get married after a few months and make it work

    Post # 11
    Member
    1279 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I was quite upset when my 18 year old younger sister told me she was getting married too. I wanted her to finish college before she got married. She had my parents blessing and got married on their 1 year dating anniversary.

    Well, foot in my mouth, my wonderful sister graduated college with her degree and is still married to my super brother-in-law, 6 years strong now.

    It’s probably good to voice your concern for her but, if they are willing to make it work together, they will surely make it.

    Post # 12
    Member
    5296 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 1993

    I’m not a fan of getting married right after you’ve gone to prom. It’s not about age for me, it’s life experience. Have time to live alone, travel, and complete your education. 

    As for your friend’s specific situation, only having dating him for a few months and reading a lot of romance novels are actually red flags to me. While I like those books too, I wonder if she isn’t a little bit too caught up in them and hoping that her own white knight is going to sweep her off her feet as well. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    3170 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @hisgoosiegirl:  bahaha, you’re joking right? What does traveling have to do with being ready for marriage? Or completing your education for that matter. Last time I checked you don’t have to have a college diploma to get married or be ready for commitment.  And reading a lot of romance novels sends a red flag….how? Reading romance novels doesnt mean you expect them to be real life. Sorry, your comment rubbed me the wrong way.

    Post # 14
    Member
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I’m negative Nancy: the odds for them making it are poor but “may the odds be ever in your favor”

    Post # 15
    Member
    5296 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 1993

    @Birdee106:  I am 100% not joking. You should experience some life on your own before you settle down. I stand by what I said. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    1360 posts
    Bumble bee

    @hisgoosiegirl:  I don’t think the romance novel bit was serious; it sounded more like something condescending ‘adults’ said. Like saying, “Oh her head’s just in the clouds… she’s been reading too many romance novels..etc.”

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