(Closed) Too soon to ask MOH/Bridesmaids? (2 year engagement)

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
4084 posts
Honey bee

TorontoBlondbee:  

1)Is it too early to ask my MOH/Bridesmaids? – considering they are all family, I think its ok to ask them now

2) Should Fiance ask his BM/GM at the same time? (They will likely be 3 friends and my brother) – For your brother, yes. For the friends, I’d wait only because who knows if the friendships will change over the next 2 years. Just my 2 cents  



Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/too-soon-to-ask-mohbridesmaids-2-year-engagement/#ixzz3svEuYRNs

Post # 3
Member
3541 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

If they are family, id go ahead and ask them. 

Post # 4
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I don’t think you need to tell them at this stage, but I think it’s probably okay to speak to the family that you plan on including. I would worry that situations might change with friends, either wanting to include other people that you’ve grown closer to, or not wanting to include others as circumstances change. 

Post # 5
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee

Logistically speaking, I would wait to ask your bridal party until you at least have a date and a venue and know what you’re actually asking of them. After all, they can’t really commit to being at a time and place if you don’t know what they are yet.

Post # 8
Member
2663 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

TorontoBlondbee:  Yes, don’t do it! You just don’t know what might change in that time…I really regretted confirming any plans with people in my engagement. Even the things you just say in passing can become issues. Maybe it’s just the people I know!

Post # 9
Member
6840 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

TorontoBlondbee: I really agree with peridot456:  especially since you’re having a destination wedding. I too am doing a Destination Wedding and it was important for me to have everything arranged before asking my bridal party. That way when I asked I let them know exactly what I was asking of them (to fly somewhere, get a hotel, etc.). Get your venue sorted out first and then ask them. 

Post # 10
Member
3225 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

TorontoBlondbee:  they’re all family so I assume you’ll stay close and should be fine in that aspect, but I would be weary of asking them because then the temptation to talk about all your plans/dresses/etc. is there and 2 years is just too long for any bridal party to hear about all that. 

Post # 11
Member
1320 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

TorontoBlondbee:  I had a 2 year engagement and would highly recommend that you wait. The only issues I had with bridesmaids was with a family member – no trouble from my friend. I think it would be appropriate though to ask your sister since there’s no dispute about which sister to choose. I would just advise to let everything sink in and enjoy being engaged before you start planning, which includes your bridal party. It’s a marathon, not a sprint….don’t wear yourself out too far from the wedding day.

As for the groomsman, he definitely doesn’t need to ask them at the same time. My Darling Husband didn’t ask his best man until over a year after I asked my girls.

And most importantly, congratulations!!! I know this is such an exciting time and you want to do everything right away. The thing I’m so happy to have taken care of so far in advance was locking down a date and venue!! Definitely clear the date with the people you know you want in your bridal party.

Post # 13
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I generally would say don’t but since you’re asking family it should be fine

HOWEVER, it can be hard (even for family) to commit to being an important part of an event two years out, things may come up (exams, pregnancy, tragedy *touch wood*, financial obligations, etc.)

As long as you’re prepared that even though they want to be apart of your day, they may find in 2 years a destination wedding isn’t in the cards, go ahead and ask. Otherwise I’d wait until you were a year out (for everyone but your sister!)

 

Post # 14
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I’m going to modify my earlier response to say that you should check in with your set in stone choices to make sure that you choose dates/locations that work for their schedules and budgets. Then again, as most of these seem to be close family, maybe you don’t have to go into attendant-related issues at this point, as you’d want them there anyway. 

Post # 15
Member
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Vineyard on Long Island

I’m also having a 2 year engagement, but we’re waiting to “officially” ask our bridal party until about a year out.  We wanted to plan the bulk of the wedding ourselves without the complications of having too many people’s input.  We’ll have paid off the venue and catering, pick out and ordered my dress, taken Fiance suit shopping, visited some florists, booked the photographer, and likely also picked out our rings before I officially ask my bridal party.  That way, all they have to do is wear their dresses and show up on the wedding day! (and attend my showers and bach party if they’re available able hehe)

 

ETA: my fear about asking too early is that even family can assume that since theyre in the bridal party, they now get a vote in everything that happens related to the wedding.  We didin’t want this issue to ever come up and cause stress, so we’re waiting.

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