Post # 1
I’ve only been engaged a week but I’m very excited and eager to plan. Fiance and I are going to have a two year engagement as we want to have a destination wedding and would like a lot of time to organize it. However, I already know who I’d like to have in my wedding party. I plan to ask my younger (and only) sister to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, and for my bridesmaides I want to ask my cousin (we’re very close and she introduced Fiance and I) and FI’s two sisters. Since eveyone I plan on asking is (or will be) family, do you think I can go ahead and ask them now? I’m not expecting alot from them, and they are all very excited about the engagement and it would be fun to have them envolved in the wedding planning from the start.
So I have two questions:
1)Is it too early to ask my MOH/Bridesmaids?
2) Should Fiance ask his BM/GM at the same time? (They will likely be 3 friends and my brother)
Post # 2
1)Is it too early to ask my MOH/Bridesmaids? – considering they are all family, I think its ok to ask them now
2) Should Fiance ask his BM/GM at the same time? (They will likely be 3 friends and my brother) – For your brother, yes. For the friends, I’d wait only because who knows if the friendships will change over the next 2 years. Just my 2 cents
Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/too-soon-to-ask-mohbridesmaids-2-year-engagement/#ixzz3svEuYRNs
Post # 3
If they are family, id go ahead and ask them.
Post # 4
I don’t think you need to tell them at this stage, but I think it’s probably okay to speak to the family that you plan on including. I would worry that situations might change with friends, either wanting to include other people that you’ve grown closer to, or not wanting to include others as circumstances change.
Post # 5
Logistically speaking, I would wait to ask your bridal party until you at least have a date and a venue and know what you’re actually asking of them. After all, they can’t really commit to being at a time and place if you don’t know what they are yet.
Post # 6
BMoreBecc: Thanks for sharing the other thread! I didn’t notice this before.
Post # 7
TorontoBlondbee: I have no idea how I did that lol
Post # 8
TorontoBlondbee: Yes, don’t do it! You just don’t know what might change in that time…I really regretted confirming any plans with people in my engagement. Even the things you just say in passing can become issues. Maybe it’s just the people I know!
Post # 9
TorontoBlondbee: I really agree with peridot456: especially since you’re having a destination wedding. I too am doing a Destination Wedding and it was important for me to have everything arranged before asking my bridal party. That way when I asked I let them know exactly what I was asking of them (to fly somewhere, get a hotel, etc.). Get your venue sorted out first and then ask them.
Post # 10
TorontoBlondbee: they’re all family so I assume you’ll stay close and should be fine in that aspect, but I would be weary of asking them because then the temptation to talk about all your plans/dresses/etc. is there and 2 years is just too long for any bridal party to hear about all that.
Post # 11
TorontoBlondbee: I had a 2 year engagement and would highly recommend that you wait. The only issues I had with bridesmaids was with a family member – no trouble from my friend. I think it would be appropriate though to ask your sister since there’s no dispute about which sister to choose. I would just advise to let everything sink in and enjoy being engaged before you start planning, which includes your bridal party. It’s a marathon, not a sprint….don’t wear yourself out too far from the wedding day.
As for the groomsman, he definitely doesn’t need to ask them at the same time. My Darling Husband didn’t ask his best man until over a year after I asked my girls.
And most importantly, congratulations!!! I know this is such an exciting time and you want to do everything right away. The thing I’m so happy to have taken care of so far in advance was locking down a date and venue!! Definitely clear the date with the people you know you want in your bridal party.
Post # 12
Thanks everyone for your responses. I think I’ll ask my sister now, since we’re very close and we always said we would be each others MOHs. I’ll hold off on the rest until we have more details nailed down.
Post # 13
I generally would say don’t but since you’re asking family it should be fine
HOWEVER, it can be hard (even for family) to commit to being an important part of an event two years out, things may come up (exams, pregnancy, tragedy *touch wood*, financial obligations, etc.)
As long as you’re prepared that even though they want to be apart of your day, they may find in 2 years a destination wedding isn’t in the cards, go ahead and ask. Otherwise I’d wait until you were a year out (for everyone but your sister!)
Post # 14
I’m going to modify my earlier response to say that you should check in with your set in stone choices to make sure that you choose dates/locations that work for their schedules and budgets. Then again, as most of these seem to be close family, maybe you don’t have to go into attendant-related issues at this point, as you’d want them there anyway.
Post # 15
- Wedding: July 2017 - Vineyard on Long Island
I’m also having a 2 year engagement, but we’re waiting to “officially” ask our bridal party until about a year out. We wanted to plan the bulk of the wedding ourselves without the complications of having too many people’s input. We’ll have paid off the venue and catering, pick out and ordered my dress, taken Fiance suit shopping, visited some florists, booked the photographer, and likely also picked out our rings before I officially ask my bridal party. That way, all they have to do is wear their dresses and show up on the wedding day! (and attend my showers and bach party if they’re available able hehe)
ETA: my fear about asking too early is that even family can assume that since theyre in the bridal party, they now get a vote in everything that happens related to the wedding. We didin’t want this issue to ever come up and cause stress, so we’re waiting.