Post # 1
Hello! I am new to the waiting boards but not to the Bee, I have been following the blog for quite a few months now.
My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 3 years and the marriage talk has been more and more frequent since about Thanksgiving. He told me that his original plan was to propose at Christmas but he decided to wait and now my aunt who is helping him with the ring (her family has a jewelry store) has been busy and slow to respond. I know it is just a matter of time so I am trying to be patient but it is hard knowing it is so close.
Well we are going home to visit my family in 2 weeks and had discussed touring the venue that we are interested in. So I emailed them to confirm tour times and was told that they are booking for next year and could hold a date for me. Out of curiousity I asked if there were any dates available in May or June. Of course they are all booked for both months but they have 2 Saturdays available at the end of July. I went ahead and asked her to pencil me in for the 23rd I just don’t want to take any chances since I have fallen in love with this venue online. I’m a little worried my boyfriend will think I am getting too far ahead of myself but I am just too much of a planner to wait.
I know that I have no obligation to the venue since they are holding the date for me without a deposit but am I getting too far ahead of myself? crazy?
Post # 3
I would wait until he gives you a ring
Post # 4
I don’t think you are crazy at all since you are not just waiting and hoping for a ring, he has made it clear that he is indeed going to propose. I would just be honest and tell him that you had them pencil in a date just in case you guys fell in love with the place. I know I picked my date when Fiance and I started looking at rings and we started discussing where we wanted our wedding.
Post # 5
I would wait too. You never know what may happen.
Post # 6
There are a lot of people that would disagree with me but I think what you did was fine! As long as you’re not like, picking out your linens! I understand falling in love with a venue, you’ll be so thrilled when you have it and you don’t have to worry about it. But, make sure you boyfriend likes it too!
Post # 7
I agree with Jennifer- I dont think its too soon! (BTW welcome new ATL bee!) If I found a venue I was 100% hooked on Id book it and Im still waiting too.
Post # 8
In My Humble Opinion, it seems like you may be getting a little ahead of yourself because you have only seen the venue online.
Post # 9
I see no harm in her having her pencil it in although I do think you should have talked it over with your boyfriend first.
Everyone is right, you never know what may happen. Not that I think he won’t propose to you but many things in life can happen forcing you to push back your engagement.
There were SO many venues we both fell in love with online but in person were utter disappointments. Creating so much heartache for us both. It got to the point where Fiance had to keep reminding me to not get my hopes up. They are very good at showing you only the best pictures! And you have to remember photographer pictures you find online from past weddings are heavily doctored and shots are strategically taken so that ONLY the good stuff get shown.
I’m really not trying to rain on your parade. I’ve just went through venue heartbreak like 3 times dragged over 6 months.
DEF tell your boyfriend! I wish you the best of luck; that your venue is just as beautiful in real life as it is online!
Post # 10
Do you consider yourselves engaged? You can be engaged without a proposal, and especially without a ring. A good smell-test is whether or not you’re uncomfortable with your boyfriend finding out about your planning. I personally wouldn’t do it.
Post # 11
Yeah I agree with PP – the one I thought I was in love with online turned out to be a total dump. I think it’s fine to have her pencil you in for the date, but you need to go see the place. Fiance and I put the deposit down on our venue before I had the ring but it was being made custom with an heirloom stone so I 100% knew it was coming and when, and we had already announced to our parents that we were engaged at that point. My parents actually came with us to look at venues, so it was pretty much a done deal at that point. Don’t put any money down unless you get confirmation from your aunt that the ring is in the works.
Post # 12
I don’t see anything wrong with penciling in a date without a ring per se, but not telling your Boyfriend or Best Friend is not ok. The wedding is his as well as yours, and he deserves a say. If he prefers a different venue, a different date, or even if he agrees with your choice but finds out you reserved it without telling him, he is likely to be upset/freaked out and maybe even not propose. And you really don’t want to be sneaking around keeping secrets from him about this type of stuff.
I also second the point about not getting too excited about venues (or anything else) so you don’t set yourself up for a disappointment
Post # 13
I think it’s fine if you penciled it in as long as nothing is definite…and I would tell him about visiting the venue when you go to your hometown…so he said he’s definitely proposing this year? I’ve found the problem with penciling in a date too soon, is that sometimes the guy doesn’t propose until later than you might think…
Post # 14
What does your Fiance think of the venue? I’d find that out before booking anything.
Post # 15
are you planning on touring the venue with your bf? i think it’s fine to start planning if you know you’re both on board, and if there’s no deposit required to pencil in a date, that’s fine. i’d be cautious though about anything more than that before you actually see the venue–i had my heart set on this one particular venue for months before we actually got engaged (i knew it was coming), and on a particular type of venue, and when i saw it in person i felt it was kinda blah and i ended up going with a totally different type of venue
Post # 16
Thanks for all of the comments! To clarify we have discussed the venue and looked at pictures online together (I’ve seen the outside in person since it is near the town where I grew up). When I mentioned that they do tours on Saturdays he was the one who suggested we check it out while we are in town since we are interested.
As far as the ring, he actually has an heirloom ring and is planning to use the stones in a new setting for me and I know that he has been communicating with my aunt. He has even shared his “proposal plan” with my brother so I know something is in the works. I plan to discuss the penciled in date tonight when we get home from work since it just came up today in my emails with the venue. Not getting my hopes up about the venue is a good point and a much appreciated reality check.