(Closed) Too soon to hold a date at my dream venue?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would wait until he gives you a ring

Post # 4
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I don’t think you are crazy at all since you are not just waiting and hoping for a ring, he has made it clear that he is indeed going to propose. I would just be honest and tell him that you had them pencil in a date just in case you guys fell in love with the place. I know I picked my date when Fiance and I started looking at rings and we started discussing where we wanted our wedding.

Post # 5
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

I would wait too. You never know what may happen.

Post # 6
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

There are a lot of people that would disagree with me but I think what you did was fine!  As long as you’re not like, picking out your linens!  I understand falling in love with a venue, you’ll be so thrilled when you have it and you don’t have to worry about it.  But, make sure you boyfriend likes it too!

Post # 7
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee

I agree with Jennifer- I dont think its too soon! (BTW welcome new ATL bee!) If I found a venue I was 100% hooked on Id book it and Im still waiting too.

Post # 8
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

In My Humble Opinion, it seems like you may be getting a little ahead of yourself because you have only seen the venue online.

Post # 9
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I see no harm in her having her pencil it in although I do think you should have talked it over with your boyfriend first.
Everyone is right, you never know what may happen. Not that I think he won’t propose to you but many things in life can happen forcing you to push back your engagement.

There were SO many venues we both fell in love with online but in person were utter disappointments. Creating so much heartache for us both. It got to the point where Fiance had to keep reminding me to not get my hopes up. They are very good at showing you only the best pictures! And you have to remember photographer pictures you find online from past weddings are heavily doctored and shots are strategically taken so that ONLY the good stuff get shown.

I’m really not trying to rain on your parade. I’ve just went through venue heartbreak like 3 times dragged over 6 months.

DEF tell your boyfriend! I wish you the best of luck; that your venue is just as beautiful in real life as it is online!

Post # 10
Member
272 posts
Helper bee

Do you consider yourselves engaged?  You can be engaged without a proposal, and especially without a ring.  A good smell-test is whether or not you’re uncomfortable with your boyfriend finding out about your planning.  I personally wouldn’t do it.

Post # 11
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Yeah I agree with PP – the one I thought I was in love with online turned out to be a total dump. I think it’s fine to have her pencil you in for the date, but you need to go see the place. Fiance and I put the deposit down on our venue before I had the ring but it was being made custom with an heirloom stone so I 100% knew it was coming and when, and we had already announced to our parents that we were engaged at that point. My parents actually came with us to look at venues, so it was pretty much a done deal at that point. Don’t put any money down unless you get confirmation from your aunt that the ring is in the works.

Post # 12
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t see anything wrong with penciling in a date without a ring per se, but not telling your Boyfriend or Best Friend is not ok. The wedding is his as well as yours, and he deserves a say. If he prefers a different venue, a different date, or even if he agrees with your choice but finds out you reserved it without telling him, he is likely to be upset/freaked out and maybe even not propose. And you really don’t want to be sneaking around keeping secrets from him about this type of stuff. 

I also second the point about not getting too excited about venues (or anything else) so you don’t set yourself up for a disappointment

Post # 13
Member
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I think it’s fine if you penciled it in as long as nothing is definite…and I would tell him about visiting the venue when you go to your hometown…so he said he’s definitely proposing this year?  I’ve found the problem with penciling in a date too soon, is that sometimes the guy doesn’t propose until later than you might think…

Post # 14
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

What does your Fiance think of the venue?  I’d find that out before booking anything.

Post # 15
Member
2465 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

are you planning on touring the venue with your bf? i think it’s fine to start planning if you know you’re both on board, and if there’s no deposit required to pencil in a date, that’s fine. i’d be cautious though about anything more than that before you actually see the venue–i had my heart set on this one particular venue for months before we actually got engaged (i knew it was coming), and on a particular type of venue, and when i saw it in person i felt it was kinda blah and i ended up going with a totally different type of venue

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