(Closed) Too soon to invite bridal party?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I just asked my 2 ladies & we’re getting married 14 June 2014. Partner is still a little iffy on his side, he has a rough idea but wants to think it over a little more.

Post # 4
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I asked my MOH (my sister) straight away and my Bridesmaid or Best Man a month later but we were getting married 7 months after getting engaged. If I had a long engagement I would have waited because I have had friendships fall apart when you least expect them to in the past and I wouldn’t want that to happen.

Post # 5
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I waited until about 10 months out.  i also suggest waiting in case friendships change.  I think more than two years out is way too early.

Post # 6
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

that’s a fair point about friendships changing… I’ve got my sister & stepdaughter, so hoping nothing goes wrong there! :S But yeah I do know friends who’ve had people in their wedding & then relationships have gone sour afterwards for various reasons.

Post # 7
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

As long as you don’t think there will be in an issue in the future you might as well ask now. Darling Husband basically stopped talking to one of his groomsmen right after we got married and says all the time he wishes he wasn’t in the pictures :/ 

Post # 9
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

I had a long engagement and asked early on. But, I didn’t do a formal ask and the 3 girls I had should have already expected it since we had talked about being in each others” weddings since we lived together before anyone was engaged lol. On DH’s side, he waited until about a year before the wedding.

Post # 10
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I hear what people are saying about friendships changing….but there will be 15 months between engagement/wedding and three of my four bridesmaids just assumed they were in the wedding (correctly, there was never any doubt). In fact, during my “omg we’re engaged” call one told me that she had already written out her toast (the groom’s sister, my very close friend, and the reason I met the groom in the first place). In my situation, it would have been odd and uncomfortable to go several months with people wondering who’s in who’s out – just seemed easier to make that decision immediately. And more fun.

Post # 11
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I have a super short engagement (end of Jan 2012 to beginning of June 2012) and there were a couple “for sure’s” but I kindof wish I would have waited even a few weeks before asking instead of right away….I have found during the wedding planning that there are some people that I am having so much more fun planning and chatting with than some that I asked! I needed to add a bridesmaid yesterday, so got to fix that and ask one girl….so I guess if I had that much time I would wait a little longer!

Post # 12
Member
1599 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I got engaged in January 2011 and set a date for September 2013, but I’ve already asked all of my girls months ago.

I sort of hesitated with one because we’ve had a lot of ups and downs and disagreements over the past year, but I came to the conclusion that I’ve known her since we were 11 and just because our friendship dynamic has changed doesn’t mean she’s not my friend and not important to me.

We aren’t as close as we used to be and sometimes I question the future of our friendship, but when it comes down to it, she’s been one of the few “constants” in my circle of friends and I want her there.

As long as you’re absolutely sure with your choices, I say go for it. I think the girls would be flattered and knowing way in advance will give them more time to plan, save money, etc. 

Post # 13
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m having a 16 month engagement and I waited about a month before I asked my girls. I sort of wish I had waited, but I was pretty positive about the girls and it was awkward when we got together to look at wedding stuff and they didn’t know they were in my wedding for sure!  

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