Post # 1
- Wedding: October 2017 - Preservation Park, Oakland CA
Hi everyone!! This is my first post here. My fiance and I just recently got engaged 8/25 on our trip to Paris and we have just started the planning process in the past couple weeks.
Our date is set for 10/14/17 so we are just over a year away from the big day. However, in the past few weeks there have been a slew of engagement within our friends/family circle and I am getting worried about wedding overlap!
My question is, being over a year away is it too soon to send save the dates so we can “claim” our date? Or is it best to announce the date a different way from this far in advance just so we can be sure that the other couples don’t pick the same date/time frame as us? Anyone else had experience with setting a date when you have a ton of other friends/relatives that are also engaged?
Thanks in advance for any help!! While this is my first post here I’m sure it won’t be my last!! 🙂
Post # 2
I would send them at a year out, I think over a year is too soon but a year to 6 months in advance is typical.
Post # 3
- Wedding: The Retreat at Bradley\'s Pond
I agree with PP on when to send them out. Otherwise, email (cause it’s a great backup!) family and close friends and let them know you plan on inviting them and give them a heads up on date/location.
Post # 4
I would wait to send them unitl October or November.
Post # 5
I wouldn’t send the Save the Dates out more than a year in advance–a surprising number of people don’t read the year and get confused. There’s nothing wrong with letting people you plan to invite know by word of mouth between now and when you send them out.
Post # 6
We never sent save the dates, but plenty of people knew when out wedding was because of word of mouth.
Post # 7
Congrats on the recent engagement! I understand that desire to claim your date, but your wedding is over a year away… At this point just spread the information by word of mouth. I had my parents and my fiance’s parent tell close friends and family our selected date.
Post # 8
I think a year notice is unnecessary unless you are having a destination wedding. I am by no means an expert on etiquette, but I always thought save the dates were sent about 6 months before the wedding. That’s what we did anyway. I would just spread the word by word of mouth.
Post # 9
I’d send them out in Novemeber. I’d just tell your date to the people you’re worried about overlap with.
Post # 10
I agree with this. OP, we got engaged May 2015 and are getting married next month. I didn’t want too much confusion, nor did I want our STDs to be lost among holiday mail, so we sent ours out in January. If guests asked prior to sending them out, we would just tell them, but they had plenty of notice in January.
Post # 11
I would verbalize the date to immediate family & the bridal party ASAP. But if your wedding is Oct 2017, I would send it out right after all the holiday hoopla is over to the rest of the guests. Probably mail them out a few days after New Year’s Day 2017. That gives them about 9 1/2 months to prepare.
Post # 12
I was in the same conundrum as you ericarenee427. I became engaged and after securing a venue and date for early November 2017, I began to wonder if we should send STD sooner. I was also still in super-hyper-anxious-excited-gotta-plan-it-all-do-it-all mode….finally coming down from that slowly but surely.
We decided that we’d send out our STD a year ahead, and that should be fine. Your family and friends will ask if you’ve set a date (Most likely you’ve been asked 100 times already!) so you can just tell them then. I am sure family and friends will pass this on to others who will be invited to your wedding, and they’ll hold the date until October rolls around.
Post # 13
wait until you’re under a year – you’d be suprised how many people would get your STD now and think that your wedding is in a month. people don’t look at the year on things. shocking, i know, but true. if you’re as paranoid as i am, i even waited until the month AFTER the 1 year mark (so in your case, november) just to make sure people didn’t get the STD and think the wedding had already happened.
Post # 14
We basically claimed our date around Christmastime (we got engaged in October) once we met with and had a hold on the venue we liked. That way when people asked at family parties, they could throw it on thier cell phone calendars right away. I know at least one couple who wanted to get married in Spring ’17 who specifically avoided our date because we promulgated it so early they knew it would cut into the guest list!
We sent our STDs at about 10 months out, but that was only because there was some address problems and a disputed guest (they were ready about a month earlier). We had a lot of out-of-town guests. Save the dates are such a new trend, I think the precise etiquette is still sort of congealing on them.
The sooner you set your date, the better. Just DO NOT send out save the dates without first booking your venue or any other major vendors who you’d move your date around for.
Post # 15
I would just talk to friends up front and make sure that no one choose the same date. My fiance has 3 other friends getting married next year. We all knew each other’s potential wedding dates months before the send the dates were sent out.