(Closed) Too soon to send Save the Dates?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
10517 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I would send them at a year out, I think over a year is too soon but a year to 6 months in advance is typical.

Post # 3
Member
1009 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: The Retreat at Bradley\'s Pond

I agree with PP on when to send them out. Otherwise, email (cause it’s a great backup!) family and close friends and let them know you plan on inviting them and give them a heads up on date/location. 

Post # 4
Member
475 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I would wait to send them unitl October or November. 

Post # 5
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I wouldn’t send the Save the Dates out more than a year in advance–a surprising number of people don’t read the year and get confused. There’s nothing wrong with letting people you plan to invite know by word of mouth between now and when you send them out.

Post # 6
Member
2942 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
ericarenee427 :  We never sent save the dates, but plenty of people knew when out wedding was because of word of mouth. 

Post # 7
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Congrats on the recent engagement! I understand that desire to claim your date, but your wedding is over a year away… At this point just spread the information by word of mouth. I had my parents and my fiance’s parent tell close friends and family our selected date. 

Post # 8
Member
1050 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
ericarenee427 :  I think a year notice is unnecessary unless you are having a destination wedding. I am by no means an expert on etiquette, but I always thought save the dates were sent about 6 months before the wedding. That’s what we did anyway. I would just spread the word by word of mouth. 

Post # 9
Member
2621 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I’d send them out in Novemeber.  I’d just tell your date to the people you’re worried about overlap with.

Post # 10
Hostess
4625 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

View original reply
proudgeek :  I agree with this.  OP, we got engaged May 2015 and are getting married next month.  I didn’t want too much confusion, nor did I want our STDs to be lost among holiday mail, so we sent ours out in January.  If guests asked prior to sending them out, we would just tell them, but they had plenty of notice in January. 

Post # 11
Member
5404 posts
Bee Keeper

I would verbalize the date to immediate family & the bridal party ASAP. But if your wedding is Oct 2017, I would send it out right after all the holiday hoopla is over to the rest of the guests. Probably mail them out a few days after New Year’s Day 2017. That gives them about 9 1/2 months to prepare.

Post # 12
Member
580 posts
Busy bee

I was in the same conundrum as you ericarenee427. I became engaged and after securing a venue and date for early November 2017, I began to wonder if we should send STD sooner. I was also still in super-hyper-anxious-excited-gotta-plan-it-all-do-it-all mode….finally coming down from that slowly but surely.

We decided that we’d send out our STD a year ahead, and that should be fine. Your family and friends will ask if you’ve set a date (Most likely you’ve been asked 100 times already!) so you can just tell them then. I am sure family and friends will pass this on to others who will be invited to your wedding, and they’ll hold the date until October rolls around.

Post # 13
Member
2503 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
ericarenee427 :  wait until you’re under a year – you’d be suprised how many people would get your STD now and think that your wedding is in a month. people don’t look at the year on things. shocking, i know, but true. if you’re as paranoid as i am, i even waited until the month AFTER the 1 year mark (so in your case, november) just to make sure people didn’t get the STD and think the wedding had already happened.

Post # 14
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

We basically claimed our date around Christmastime (we got engaged in October) once we met with and had a hold on the venue we liked. That way when people asked at family parties, they could throw it on thier cell phone calendars right away. I know at least one couple who wanted to get married in Spring ’17 who specifically avoided our date because we promulgated it so early they knew it would cut into the guest list!  

We sent our STDs at about 10 months out, but that was only because there was some address problems and a disputed guest (they were ready about a month earlier). We had a lot of out-of-town guests. Save the dates are such a new trend, I think the precise etiquette is still sort of congealing on them. 

The sooner you set your date, the better. Just DO NOT send out save the dates without first booking your venue or any other major vendors who you’d move your date around for. 

Post # 15
Member
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I would just talk to friends up front and make sure that no one choose the same date.  My fiance has 3 other friends getting married next year.  We all knew each other’s potential wedding dates months before the send the dates were sent out.

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