(Closed) Too Traditional?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

Omg.  Do not compare yourself to others!!  Offbeat bride type posts are meant to inspire, not show off how different they are (in my opinion, anyway).  Do not worry about boring others, only worry that the things that you are doing for and during your wedding will make YOU (and your FI) enjoy what should be one of the very happiest days of your life!!

 

Post # 4
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’m kind of sick of people’s obsession with being “non-traditional.” What’s so wrong with just having the kind of wedding you want? Everyone is so obsessed with being unique and different, just be who you are, and it will be unique to YOU!

Seriously, brides make themselves crazy over it. You don’t have to be different for the sake of being different, you should choose styles that speak to you and you alone. And as a frequent wedding guest, I can honestly say that all we care about is yummy food and good music. We’re happy for the couple, we don’t need Cirque de Soleil serving us food on stilts or anything.

Post # 5
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I agree 100% with PP’s – your wedding should be about what makes you and your Fiance happy, and if that style of wedding is “traditional”, that’s ok! I think shows like “Four Weddings” have made this need to be different even more pronounced than in the past (but I might be making that up, because this is my first time planning a wedding!) Being different for the sake of being different isn’t necessarily a good thing…just like it doesn’t make sense to have a “rustic” wedding because it’s trendy, when you hate the outdoors and have never been on a farm. Do what makes you happy and it will all be worth it in the end, IMO. 🙂 Plus, there’s a reason that things become traditions…sometimes people just like them!

Post # 6
Member
1133 posts
Bumble bee

I feel you on that…I struggle with my traditional’ness and wanting people to talk about my wedding and say “did you see {this}? It was so unique” Stuff like that. But when it comes down to it, I have always dreamed of the traditional wedding with all the “typical” things involved. I think you can add little touches to make it unique to you but there’s nothing wrong with traditional 😀

Post # 7
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Look.. there are so many rustic chic mason jar happy brides these days.. ‘traditional’ is becoming offbeat of their off beat.  I greatly prefer attending standard weddings than some of the weirder ones (picnic style receptions, for example). Do what you want- none of your loved ones will be judging you.

Post # 10
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i dont get the “cookie cutter” comments.  i mean youre getting married, people come, they eat and drink and there is cake.  it doesnt matter how many ways you try to shake that up by being “different” – its the same the world over

Post # 11
Member
1699 posts
Bumble bee

Frankly, the most “off-beat” unconventional wedding nowadays would be a truly traditional one. If you actually ARE all that traditional by my standards, you may just end up having the most uncommon wedding ever seen on internet wedding discussion boards. I wish I had a penny for every time I’ve trotted out an idea that I thought “everybody knows”, and watched it elicit horror and amazement. Not that “Horror” and “amazement” are what you really want, are they? “Sincere” and “authentic” are much preferable, and rather undervalued.

Go with what feels right to you instead of putting on a show — and, of course, as long as what “feels right” is polite and respectful to your husband and your guests. Your wedding will then have an integrity that connects it to your real life, and launches you on the next stage of your life without regrets — and more importantly, without tainting your marriage with a sense of phoniness.

Post # 12
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I went to a wedding recently where the bride and groom got married on a stage and scripted their wedding like a musical. All the groomsmen wore converse, all the bridesmaids had those mustache on a stick things, there was a photo booth, the bride wore neon layers under her dress and a huge feather thing in her hair… I don’t know, if you knew the couple it wasn’t them at ALL and you could tell they were trying really really hard to be unique.

Same with a lot of the engagement photos I see now where the couple is dressed up really nicely and the entire album is just hispter/random/silly or they are sitting in what looks like a crack alley looking miserable. Or on a couch out in a field behind the local KMart. If that’s your style, rock on with it! But if it’s not, is that really what you want to be looking at in pictures for the next 50 years? You want to show your grandkids an album full of you wearing a fake mustache for no apparent reason? You’ll never regret just being yourself.

Post # 13
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

 sitting in what looks like a crack alley looking miserable

heheh.  i saw some e pics the other day and my first thought was she looked like hooker (and yes, it was in a street alley)

Post # 15
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

It’s ok to do what you want and like–who cares if it’s traditional or not?  I’m on the offbeat bride tribe and everyone’s wedding is SO DIFFERENT and I have to reign myself in.  There are parts of our wedding that are totally offbeat.  My dress is from Wai Ching, our centerpieces will have gaming dice and our invites are totally not white on white on white.  We’re serving tacos and our officiant is our good friend and the ceremony will be maybe 10 minutes long.  The bouquets/bouts/corsages are feathers, there will be no garter/bouquet toss and the existence of the father/daughter dance is still in committee.  But we’re somewhat coordinating our wedding party, it’s going to be in a traditional venue, with music that everyone knows, linens on the tables and there will be some form of cake somewhere.  My dress is mostly white, he will be in a black suit and it will definitely be a wedding.

You take tradition and use the parts you like and discard the parts you don’t.  It’s that simple.  If you like all of tradition, then go for it!  If you don’t, then that is good too!  All of the popularity about offbeatedness is less of a trend towards being different and more of an acceptance of everyone being different in their own way.  Trying to be different for the sake of being different is stupid.  Just be you.

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