Post # 1
I don’t know if I’m the only one out there dealing with this, but I feel like my fiance and I have a hard time being taken seriously (or being acknowledged) by the various wedding vendors. (Please ignore my avatar that shows me playing with a muppet).
I am 23 years old, but most people guess my age as about 15. When we went engagement ring shopping, most jewelers wouldn’t approach us until we cleared our throats loudly. They usually didn’t take me seriously until I proved that I had extensively researched diamonds and metal types.
It’s not just when shopping for the expensive things that people assume I can’t afford. I went to a dermatologist recently (clearing up acne scars and excema for my wedding) and she talked to me like I was a baby. The same day, I went with my mom to get a hair cut, and the hair dresser asked me if I was having a “Mommy Daughter day” and if the high school was closed. She turned out to be 18 and I almost grabbed the scissors out of her hand.
Post # 3
I went to browse at a few jewelers for my wedding band and brought my mom along. Not ONE jeweler approached me. I’m 23 too. I quit smoking a few months ago and gas station clerks wouldn’t sell me cigarettes pretty often because they didn’t even think I was 18!
Post # 4
I think my fiance and I make each other look younger. I can go see an R rated movie with my best friend, and we don’t get carded. I go with him, and we have to show ID. I never got carded for movies before I started dating my fiance.
Post # 5
My mom had a friend who had the same problem. She looked about 15 when she was in her mid-twenties. She was married and pregnant and would be out and about with her husband like any other normal person and perfect strangers would give her husband the meanest looks–like he’s done something terrible in getting her pregnant!
In twenty/thirty years–you’re gonna love looking younger than your age.
Post # 6
I am 27, and I still get mistaken for being under 21. Not as drastic as your situation, but i feel ya girl.
it’ll get better. I’ve realized that if I act and dress even older than i am in certain situations people take me a bit more seriously.
Post # 7
I am 23 and will be 24 for our wedding. I look very young as well and have been asked if I am still in highschool.Its very hard for me not to take it to heart when people make comments about how young i look. My uncle said when he found out i was engaged (I got engaged in december of 2010) i was too young to get married since I just finished high school last year. I graduated highschool in 2005 and have finished college, apparently he forgot that part. But I look at my mom who is 56 and many people assume she is in her early 40s. So just remember that when we are older and when everyone is trying to look younger we will naturally and they will be jealous
Post # 8
@Manthastar: WOW that’s tough!! I keep hearing “what are you like 17?”
I’m 24!!!! Makeup and hair goes a long way. Wearing clothes that are professional and grown up too. I try to dress the part if we’re going out somewhere I need to be taken seriously.
Makeup ages you also, so you can use it to your advantage. Avoid wearing hoodies and “young” clothing
I’m extremely mature, more so that most 40 year olds I meet, I’ve covered a lot in my life so far and can’t stand when I’m not taken seriously.
One thing I do is remind myself that hopefully when I’m old I’ll be the one laughing, looking younger always pays off later.
Post # 9
Sounds like “ageism” (like sexism). I’m in a college town, and though I don’t get this personally (something about my hair, perhaps the silver roots?! afterall, I’m only 38 lol), students complain about it. Discrimination against young adults is rampant in certain places where so called “the real residents” of this town frequent. I think looking younger makes some people think you are irresponsible. Not necessarily true, of course, but that’s the stereotype.
It’s the reverse for me on the rare occassion I want to be served quickly somewhere that young students frequent (like early 20 year olds). I get ignored at the bar sometimes. I think looking older makes some people think you are stuffy and not hip and won’t tip well. Not necessarily true, of course, but that’s the other side of the ageism stereotype.
Post # 10
My poor FH, we walked into the Las Vegas Tiffany store, no one would give him the time of day. He was just in to see what they were charging to a stone similar to what he already purchased (almost 8-10k more) but even dressed in slacks no one paid attention.
I used to work at a camp back home and I had for several summers. When I was 17 a new counselor asked me whose cabin I was in. The age range for the campers that week? 10-12…
Oh, and I was carded for a late night PG-13 movie last winter. You have to be 16 or with a legal guardian to be out in that city after a certain time. And I got carded. My friends with me- nope, including the who sometimes buys clothes from Limited Too.
Post # 11
I look kind of young…or maybe it’s that I’m frozen in time or something. I’ve looked the same since I was 13 (except now I’m a little thicker ), so when I was really young everyone thought I was 20 and now that I’m nearly 23 people think I’m 17. Soo weird. Doesn’t help that I’m a substitute teacher and am around kids that look similar in age all the time. My makeup is always done very nicely, but I think it’s my hair that makes me look younger…long and blonde. I do find that throwing on a blazer helps people take me a bit more seriously.
Post # 12
Hey, I went into the store where I bought my wedding dress so my sisters could look at some prom dresses. They were confused why I wasn’t trying any on as well. When I told them I wasn’t going to prom one girl said she was sorry and looked sad… I was confused for a second. Then my sister mentioned that I was getting married and I had already bought my dress there. So the woman looked at me like I had just grown a second head! I’m sure she was thinking “A highschooler! Getting married!” And then she looked at my stomach… stared at my stomach… as if expecting an alien to pop out. Finally my sister stepped up again and said, “Yeah, she is graduating college in May and getting married in July! Exciting huh!”. Suddenly it clicked in the attendants head and all she could say is “well, you look so young! That is a good thing for the future!” The only time I have ever been confused with a highschooler…. wow. I didn’t think I looked that young but, oh well!
Post # 13
I’m almost 25 but most people guess my age to be 17-18. I guess I sound young too–most of the bills are in my husband’s name and when I call a business (power company, phone company) the rep will ask “Who am I speaking with?” in this awful, almost patronizing tone. I always refer to myself as Mrs. HisLast and then the rep is all “Yes ma’am, Mrs. HisLast, how can I help you?” or some such. It’s hilarious.
It does not help that I’m short (barely 5ft tall!) or tend to dress in jeans and t-shirts when I’m not going anywhere nice.
Post # 14
I went through the same thing. I was actually on a date once, and the person sitting next to my date asked him if his daughter (me) was having a good time.
All I can say is, now at 45, I sure miss those days! Enjoy it while it lasts. I still look younger than I am, but I don’t get that look I used to get when I tell people my age. I miss those days, and sometay you will, too!
Post # 15
I’m 25 and I often don’t get taken seriously. It might be partially because I’m often too busy to worry about doing myself up nowadays, so I often show up in jeans/ no makeup.
My fiancee is quite a bit older than I am however, and i’ve found that, when we’re together, I am always always always treated better/ taken more seriously than when I am alone. It actually got to the point where I refused to take my ring to the jewelry store to get cleaned without him- when I show up on my own, it’s like I’m pulling teeth to get someone to help me, when he’s there- we get quick, courteous service. I guess they assume age = money.
Post # 16
@kfraztobe: just wanted to add to this. Today I went to try on wedding dresses and the consultant looked at me up and down and said “How young are you”?!? My mom and I were shocked she would ask me my age and ask in such a way that referred to me being young. When I told her how old i was 23, ill be 24 in april she was like oh thank god i helped a girl who was 18 the other day….i asked her whats wrong with being 18 and she said nothing and just walked away. RUDE