Post # 1
Hey ya’ll I’m new to this but I have a super difficult decision to make and I was hoping I could get more opinions.
Early on, I wanted my goddaughter to be the flower girl in my wedding. By the time of my wedding, she will be 16 months old. I know that is very young, and that’s what leads me to my next point.
We don’t have any super young boys in either of our families, so we decided on FI’s younger brothers (10 and 11) to be ushers/ring bearers. I’m a very symmetrical person, so I thought it would look nice if we had two ring bearers matched with two flower girls. I also wound up thinking if I add another flower girl that’s a bit older in age, she could assist the younger one actually get down the isle. The second flower girl is 6.
The problem is, the mom of my goddaughter (the 16 month old) seemed slightly offended when I mentioned I wanted to have two flower girls. I have to admit I would be slightly concerned about the baby getting down the aisle on her own, but I don’t want to exclude her. Her mom has left the decision up to me whether or not I want my goddaughter in the wedding.
I don’t know what to decide. It would be easier to not have her in the wedding because then I don’t have to worry about her making it down the aisle ok, and her mom (who is a bridesmaid) having to hold her while she stands with me during the ceremony. However, I think I will really regret not having her in my wedding looking back in the future.
What do ya’ll think? Keep her in the wedding, or just have the 6 year old?
P.S. – I was thinking of either having the two girls walk together (older helping younger), or having the older walking first and the younger pulled in a decorated wagon by one of the ushers/ring bearers. What do you think of that as well?
Post # 3
Hmm. Tough one. Could she be the first one to be pulled out in a wagon whilst throwing petals or something? That could look really cute and heart-melting. The ushers could pull it, as you said, and the other flower girl could be walking behind.
The only other thing I’d keep in mind is that kids chatter and wriggle pretty much uncontrollably at that age, which may happen through the ceremony, but that may not bother you.
Post # 4
Sure, she may be too young to make it down the aisle herself, but I love your idea of having another flower girl walk with her. That would be adorable. I, too, have a goddaughter and will want to include her in my wedding day…I think you might regret leaving her out, down the road, if that’s what you decide to do. Best of luck!
Post # 5
I don’t think it’s fair to expect a six-year-old to be responsible for a 16-month-old. I realize it’s just a walk down the aisle, but kids can really act up in ways you don’t expect when at the center of that kind of attention. It can be flustering enough for an adult, but to ask another young child to take that kind of responsibility while she’s also in the spotlight seems a bit much to ask.
It’s great that you want to include her, but why not just get her a similar dress as the flower girl and let her be in pictures? That’s what you’ll look at years down the road. It’s not like the girl will remember any of it regardless of what you do.
I get a desire for having equal numbers, but no one at your wedding will notice or care when it comes to the kids.
Post # 6
Honestly, I think 16 months is way too young to be a flower girl. Some kids aren’t even walking by 16 months and walking in front of so many people will probably not go over well. I think babies can look quite cute in flower girl dresses but if you want them to actually perform their task, your best bet would be omitting the baby. Also, at 16 months, she’s not going to be able to stand or even sit quietly during the ceremony and it could potentially be quite distracting for your Bridesmaid or Best Man (the baby’s mother) to have to entertain her during the ceremony.
I understand you wanting her in the wedding but I don’t think it’s necessary. DH wanted to include his only niece in our wedding but she was only 2 and I said no. I don’t regret that decision in the slightest as I still think she was too young. Also, as for the symmetry you talked about – I don’t think it will be thrown off with only one Flower Girl, especially as all of the other kids are a fair bit older. I actually think it will look more awkward with three children and one baby/toddler, but that’s just my opinion!
Post # 7
I wanted so badly for my 6 month old neice to be our flowergirl in our wedding in January. I thought about having the ring bearer pull her down in a wagon but a) I did not trust our ring bearer to do this haha (he’a a bit unpredictable and b) We were in a church and I felt awkward having a wagon in a church. Instead, both my brother and sister in law were in the wedding party so we had them walk down the aisle first carrying her. It gave us the most precious pictures of her, and I think it was a special moment for my brother and sister to walk down the aisle together holding their daughter who was a result of their walk down the aisle 5 years before. I definitely think you can include her in the ceremony! the logistics can be a little difficult, but I like both the wagon idea and the idea of having the older girl help her down the aisle.
Here’s my little niece 🙂
Post # 8
@Aggie10: thats a beautiful photo and memory
Post # 9
@Aggie10: that’s how my almost 1 yr old niece came down the isle as well! 🙂 in a tutu too!
Post # 10
@Aggie10: Aw, that’s really lovely.
Post # 11
I say keep her in and have the two flower girls. If the two have plenty of time to get to know each other before the wedding, then the little one would feel more comfortable following/being helped by the older flowergirl down the aisle. I find it very strange that the mother of the toddler is slightly offended you want two girls. I would feel the same way if I were you… a 16 month old is so unpredictable!!
Post # 12
Our flower girl is the daughter of one of our groomsmen and one of our bridesmaids. She will be close to 6 months at the time of the wedding. Our bridesmaid will be carrying her down the aisle!
Post # 13
My niece was 18 months, I wasn’t expecting much but she was too cute not to have as a flower girl. My brother ended up holding her walking down because she was about to have a melt down
Post # 14
@eloping: & @Jezika:
Thank you! I just love her to pieces!
If you’re worried about the unpredictability of a 16 month old, also keep in mind that if she doesn’t walk down the aisle in a perfectly straight line it’s okay! If she goes a little off course people will just think she’s that much more adoarable. I mean I can see where a full melt down cry in the aisle situation might not be cute, but there’s not a huge chance of that happening. Worse case scenario she gets stage fright and her momma can come help her down the ailse and into the arms of a family member waiting near by so the mom can be your bridesmaid without worrying about holding her daughter the whole time. At DH’s brother’s wedding, the flower girl got upset and scared so the bride held her hand and walked down the aisle with her dad on one side and the flower girl on the other. It was actually a really sweet moment.
Post # 15
Thank you everyone for your responses! I agree with whoever said it’s a very big responsibility for a 6 year old to be in charge of helping the 16 month old down the aisle, and I agree that a wagon in a church could be slightly awkward. I also know that 16 month olds are a bit unpredictable and that’s why I’m so up in the air about having her. I just know I’ll regret it if I don’t have her in the wedding. She is my goddaughter and she means so much to me.
I haven’t decided what I’ll do yet, but your input helps me think this through a lot!
Post # 16
I was flower girl at 2.5 years old and the bride made me hold on to her train for dear life as she walked down the aisle…..hehe!!!! it worked fine but I was drilled by my mum for months leading up to the day!!!
I will have a 13month old nephew and and a 3year old neice. along with my 10yr old and 12 your cousins in my bridal party…i was going to get them to escort the little ones down. If they cry, go shy, wet their pants or scream.. it’ll be part of the fun and wouldn’t bother me too much!! Its up to you in the end.