(Closed) Not ready to be married

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 18
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011


You aren’t saying “I don’t think I love him…” you’re only saying you’re not sure if now is the time. And that’s ok! He sounds like an understanding person and loves you…so he’ll wait for when you ARE ready. And I have to agree with all the ladies above..if you even have a tiny feeling of hesitation…just push it off a bit. You may feel diff a month from now and want to set a new date! Until then I think if it were me and my Fiance was willing I’d just potpone and rediscuss in 6 months or so! Stay engaged! Just re-think the timing.  This has NOTHING to do with your age! There’s nothing wrong w feeling this way.

Post # 19
10363 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Why not just save the money for the wedding until you are ready? I really believe in waiting until you’re really confident and ready! Wait, live some more life, graduate, have a little independence, then get married. You can be an amazing girlfriend in the meantime – it sounds like you really love your Boyfriend or Best Friend, just want to wait a little while – totally smart and normal!

Post # 20
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

My advice is simple. If it doesn’t feel right, then don’t do it! There is nothing wrong with getting married at your age but if you are having any doubts then I don’t see why you would rush it. You will know when you are ready.

Post # 21
4304 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t know, I’m torn.  I am drastically different now at 28 than when I was 22 and I don’t really agree with age being just a number… but I don’t think this situation has anything to do with age.

Simply, it’s how you feel – and how you feel inside and what’s going on knows nothing about your age.

If you don’t feel that it’s right, it probably isn’t.  I totally agree with thelovecats; if it doesn’t feel right – don’t do it!

Post # 22
6996 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

just make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. people take marraige for granted and i truely believe it should be a one time thing and a promise of forever. My sister used to tell me “if you get married before you are 26, im not coming” she is 10 years older than me. well im 24 and getting married and she couldnt be more thrilled for me…i understand why people think its too young…when i think of myself at 21 even 22 its day and night from who i am now, and that is only 2 years.


My only advice is this: they say you “know” when you have met “the one” and i believe in that 100 perecent. deep down you know if this is the right person and the right time. follow your heart and make it count.

being a wife is going to be totally amazing…i know nothing about it but thats the point of partnership and marriage you learn these things together 🙂

chin up! it will be stressful but on top of that you should mostly be excited!

Post # 23
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’ll be 23 when I get married, and people give me crap all the time about how I’m too young. But, FH and I have been living together for 4 years, we have our own place, a dog, a cat and plenty of bills to go along with it.

We had talked about getting married early on in the relationship, but I felt I wasn’t ready for it, so I told him no. As we got older, experienced new things and matured, I finally realized that I was ready to get married. It took him 10 months after finding out I was ready before he gave me a ring. We’re getting married at the end of next year.

Honestly, if you don’t think you’re ready, you shouldn’t get married. FH and I are, but we’ve also been living the “married” lifestyle since I was 18 and he was 19. It’s hard to explain, but I’m glad we didn’t get married when we first moved in together… now, I’m ready to be married.

Post # 24
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I got engaged on my 22nd birthday, and until I met Fiance I didn’t think I would get married “young.” But at 22, I was at the beginning of my senior year of college, so we decided to just enjoy being engaged and hold off putting any money toward the wedding until after I’d graduated.

I had a mini-freakout shortly before graduation – I was stressed about final exams, about moving out of my apartment, about starting a job I hated (and still hate), and about booking our venue and actually putting real money toward the wedding. Basically, I had one day of thinking “I’m too young for all this!” Not just getting married- basically, becoming an adult. So I sat Fiance down and said I was super stressed, that I might want to push back our wedding date etc. He wasn’t thrilled about it, but he understood and said there was no pressure- we’d just book it when I felt ready. Just him saying those words totally changed my emotions. I got all of the graduation stuff out of the way, and we set our date a few weeks later. I’ll be 23 when we get married, which I know is on the younger side, but I don’t feel too young. I feel happy and ready and excited.

The point of this long, rambling post is to let you know that what you’re feeling is totally normal. I firmly believe that every woman, regardless of age, should have a moment of pause when she thinks about getting married – like PP have said, it’s a HUGE decision. And a moment of pause doesn’t mean that your Fiance isn’t right for you or that you shouldn’t get married. It just means you are being mature and taking it seriously, recognizing that marriage is a lifetime commitment and there doesn’t need to be a rush. People always say “Why not wait?” and that’s great advice. When you truly start to think “But why wait?” and don’t have a good reason, then you’re ready.

Continue to talk with your Fiance. Don’t book anything until you feel comfortable. Take deep breaths, and be kind to yourself Smile


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