(Closed) too young to be waiting…??

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If he’s not ready, he’s not ready–which is completely reasonable at 22. You’ll have to give him time and be patient.

Post # 4
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You just feel it’s the time but for him it’s not.  You have talked to him and he knows what’s going on but it’s just a matter of having him come around to the same page you are at.  Maybe a year or two, maybe more but don’t give up on your love.  In my relationship we were going to live together from 24 to 30 and get married at 30.  That’s what he wanted but he realized that at 25 we should do it.  So he may come around and propose or you may wait, but you love him and you know he is the one so be patient.

Post # 5
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

it’s awesome that you found the one without having to wade through a sea of crappy exes (jealous!) but honestly, i would enjoy your freedom while you have it and when he is ready you’ll know! i know it can be hard to stay cool when you see everyone else getting what you want. focus on enjoying this pre-wedding stress/baby time with each other.

Post # 6
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

He won’t discuss it with you at all?  Not even a ballpark?

You guys are on different pages.  You might have to decide how important getting married young and being a young mother is to you.  That would be easier to do if he can give you at least some idea (2 years, 5 years etc.) 

Post # 7
Member
30 posts
Newbee

I agree with elm_tree, and want to add that the best feeling in the world is when your partner is ready. If you don’t put any pressure on then you will enjoy being together, and that is more likely to stir up feelings of marriage and commitment in you. It’s so hard not to get frustrated when you are not in the same place, however pushing someone into something they are not ready for may cause resentment later on. Try to focus on the fact a great guy loves you, wants a future with you and you are already part of the family. The rest will fall into place x

Post # 9
Member
30 posts
Newbee

Seriously I know how hard it is to not keep thinking / talking about it! Just put all of your energy into reminding him why he loves you (cheeeeesy but true)!!

You never know the weddings might put ideas into his head…just don’t mention that you wish it was you etc when you are there. My guy friend had his girlfriend do that and it just put him off. But I am a bit of a hypocrite because I can’t help myself mentioning stuff sometimes!!

Post # 10
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

Believe me, I know how you feel! My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have been together for seven years this December, and we’re only 23. We’re both ready to get engaged, but he doesn’t see why I want to “rush.” I can definitely relate to you on the wedding thing too – I was recently at a friends wedding and actually CAUGHT THE BOUQUET! Its annoying when it’s so close but yet so far out of reach! Hang in there my fellow bee, you are not alone in this πŸ™‚

Post # 11
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee

Aww, I know how you feel *hugs*. My SO and I are both 21 and coming up on 6 1/2 years into the relationship. He keeps saying that we need to have money for a wedding before he proposes, but I know he won’t start saving to have that money until he proposes. Guys seem to have the “what’s the rush” mentality for-freaking-ever, and in our case, it seems rushed with regards to our ages, but not with regards to the duration of the relationship. It is incredibly frustrating.

Post # 12
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I think its odd that he is not even willing to talk about it… that could be a bad sign… When my husband and I started dating we were both in the “whats the rush” phase but we were still willing to talk about the future and about marriage.

You need to be sure he one day really wants to get married, maybe he doesnt want to talk about it b/c he never really wants to get married…. you guys have a dog and a place together already so why wouldnt he even be willing to talk about it?  You need to make sure that hes not talking about it b/c hes not ready and not b/c he really doesnt ever want to get married.

I dated a guy who never wants to get married, they dont change… Good Luck, I would try and figure it out soon so you can decide what you want and move on if need be

Post # 13
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

@buzzyplush:  Yea! My Boyfriend or Best Friend keeps saying that he wants to have the money for a wedding before he proposes. But I’ve always wanted a long engagement in order to do fun engaged things. We can be saving a lot of money during this time.

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