Post # 1
hello guys 🙂
Been having a realy difficult time today, engagements and weddings and babies seem to be everywhere just now. had a wedding last weekend and another a week on sat and there are so many people pregnant/ just had babies that i could cry 🙁
sorry about the moan. lol i know u guys will understand
I know where only young ( 21 and 22 this year ) but it feels right. We have been together coming up to 5 and a half years now and i want to move on. We rent a flat and have a dog but he wont move any further with the relationship. He knows i want marriage before i have kids, but he wont discuss when with me. But he went and told my sister that he wants to have MY babies 😀 just not quite yet 🙁 All i want is some sort of timeline. I want to be a young mum and i know weddings and houses are expensive so i want to get the ball rolling so we can set up our life together. As i know it will take a few years to save up a deposit for a home.
His dad even calls me there daughter / daughter in law and his family say im part of the family.
we where at a weding at the weekend which if that wasnt bad enough, my bf started talking to a little girl and his dad just looked at me and said he is great with kids with a big grin on his face. It makes me want this so much more!
Post # 3
If he’s not ready, he’s not ready–which is completely reasonable at 22. You’ll have to give him time and be patient.
Post # 4
You just feel it’s the time but for him it’s not. You have talked to him and he knows what’s going on but it’s just a matter of having him come around to the same page you are at. Maybe a year or two, maybe more but don’t give up on your love. In my relationship we were going to live together from 24 to 30 and get married at 30. That’s what he wanted but he realized that at 25 we should do it. So he may come around and propose or you may wait, but you love him and you know he is the one so be patient.
Post # 5
it’s awesome that you found the one without having to wade through a sea of crappy exes (jealous!) but honestly, i would enjoy your freedom while you have it and when he is ready you’ll know! i know it can be hard to stay cool when you see everyone else getting what you want. focus on enjoying this pre-wedding stress/baby time with each other.
Post # 6
He won’t discuss it with you at all? Not even a ballpark?
You guys are on different pages. You might have to decide how important getting married young and being a young mother is to you. That would be easier to do if he can give you at least some idea (2 years, 5 years etc.)
Post # 7
I agree with elm_tree, and want to add that the best feeling in the world is when your partner is ready. If you don’t put any pressure on then you will enjoy being together, and that is more likely to stir up feelings of marriage and commitment in you. It’s so hard not to get frustrated when you are not in the same place, however pushing someone into something they are not ready for may cause resentment later on. Try to focus on the fact a great guy loves you, wants a future with you and you are already part of the family. The rest will fall into place x
Post # 8
I know i need to be patient and i know that i dont want to try and force him into something he isnt ready for. I can not wait for him to turn around and say I want to marry you NOW! 😀 I have managed not to bring it up in about 2-3 months 🙂 go me! lol but its still difficult. epsecialy when the 2 weddings im going to the couples havnt been together half as long as we have 🙁 i supose i just need to keep myself busy and think about other thing …
Post # 9
Seriously I know how hard it is to not keep thinking / talking about it! Just put all of your energy into reminding him why he loves you (cheeeeesy but true)!!
You never know the weddings might put ideas into his head…just don’t mention that you wish it was you etc when you are there. My guy friend had his girlfriend do that and it just put him off. But I am a bit of a hypocrite because I can’t help myself mentioning stuff sometimes!!
Post # 10
Believe me, I know how you feel! My BF and I have been together for seven years this December, and we’re only 23. We’re both ready to get engaged, but he doesn’t see why I want to “rush.” I can definitely relate to you on the wedding thing too – I was recently at a friends wedding and actually CAUGHT THE BOUQUET! Its annoying when it’s so close but yet so far out of reach! Hang in there my fellow bee, you are not alone in this 🙂
Post # 11
Aww, I know how you feel *hugs*. My SO and I are both 21 and coming up on 6 1/2 years into the relationship. He keeps saying that we need to have money for a wedding before he proposes, but I know he won’t start saving to have that money until he proposes. Guys seem to have the “what’s the rush” mentality for-freaking-ever, and in our case, it seems rushed with regards to our ages, but not with regards to the duration of the relationship. It is incredibly frustrating.
Post # 12
I think its odd that he is not even willing to talk about it… that could be a bad sign… When my husband and I started dating we were both in the “whats the rush” phase but we were still willing to talk about the future and about marriage.
You need to be sure he one day really wants to get married, maybe he doesnt want to talk about it b/c he never really wants to get married…. you guys have a dog and a place together already so why wouldnt he even be willing to talk about it? You need to make sure that hes not talking about it b/c hes not ready and not b/c he really doesnt ever want to get married.
I dated a guy who never wants to get married, they dont change… Good Luck, I would try and figure it out soon so you can decide what you want and move on if need be
Post # 13
@buzzyplush: Yea! My BF keeps saying that he wants to have the money for a wedding before he proposes. But I’ve always wanted a long engagement in order to do fun engaged things. We can be saving a lot of money during this time.
Post # 14
its strange because he will discuss it, i know he wants to get married in the local church ( where he has been brought up for the whole of his life) and he says he wants children, and talks about taking the out in the boat, taking them swimming taking them to the park etc. But he just will not discuss time lines if that makes sence, so its not like he wont tell me anything. he just wont give me an idea of when.
thanx for the advice so far guys 🙂
this seems to be one place that i can just let everything out lol