(Closed) Too young to stay with just daddy for a weekend?

posted 5 years ago in Parenting
Post # 16
Member
893 posts
Busy bee

Can you pop by for a few hours (for dinner maybe?) and head home? Best of all worlds.

Post # 17
Member
3242 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I know my DH would be pushing me out of the door. But he plans to be the stay at home parent while I work. 

Post # 18
Member
13549 posts
Honey Beekeeper

 For me this would be a no brainer. No way I’d consider it at that age. 

Post # 19
Member
256 posts
Helper bee

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Willow90:  I agree! He’s the father, he should have some time with his child to do all the goofy stuff he might be embarrassed about 🙂

Post # 20
Member
2317 posts
Buzzing bee

I have never been in this position but my BFF’s bachelorette party is about two weeks after two other friend’s due dates.  They were all onboard for a weekend (friday night, saturday, return sunday afternoon)  with the girls until the weekend turned into 4.5 days.  The actual time you will be away from your baby is 48-72 hrs max.  You DH can hold down the fort while you are away.  It is good for him to have some bonding time too and you deserve a little fun time to yourself.  You can pump while you are away but you may want to throw away the milk if you are tasting the wines.  As long as  your baby is healthy and happy I think it is a good idea to take this chance while you can.  

Post # 21
Member
3003 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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MrsRoberts52:  I echo trying to make it a family weekend and you could just leave baby during the day. We went to my borther’s wedding when my son was 9 weeks old. I was busy doing wedding stuff during the day and my Mother-In-Law would bring him to me to feed every few hours, and she had a bottle of breastmilk for him just in case. At 5 or 6 weeks, though, it would’ve been much harder. They do need to nurse very often when they are that little, and it is about more than just nutrition. My son was a fairly easy newborn, but he would get fussy in the evenings and leaving him with my husband for more than a couple hours was really hard on both of them- my husband is a very involved dad and spends lots of time with our son, but leaving the two of the alone, without boobs, for that long that early would’nt have been a good situation for anybody. But you never know! I think you’ll have to just play it by ear after you give birth.

Post # 22
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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MrsRoberts52:  Dads are just as capable as moms, or should be expected to be so she will never be “too young” to be left with her dad. The breastfeeding is resolved by a pump. By the time she is 9 weeks, u might need a break, so I’d recommend deferring on a decision until closer to that time. Let your friend know what you are dealing with. She will probably understand. 

Post # 23
Member
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

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MrsRoberts52:  Where is the getaway? Would it be possible for your husband and daughter to stay at the same hotel? If everyone is okay with that idea, and of course you still are there for the bride than you could still join in on all of the festivities and be able to stay the night/some of the day with DH and DD.

Post # 24
Member
47459 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If this is your first baby, you may still be working hard to establish breastfeeding at 5 weeks. It’s not like turning a faucet on and off. Baby may be cluster feeding if in the middle of a growth spurt. You could be nursing every half hour to every 3-4 hours. Pumping is not a solution for all women.

I suggest you respond that you just don’t know right now and won’t be able to give a definitive answer until closer to the date.

Post # 25
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: Crichton Church, Dumfries, Scotland

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julies1949:  I agree with this, with my second baby my milk supply was all over the place and still now at 7 months it can be physically painful if I’ve missed a feed because I have a big supply and ferocious letdown! there was no way I could go longer than a couple hours max between feeding him at 5-9 weeks, my boobs would’ve exploded! I also had a section and was unable to drive until 12 weeks as per my insurance and couldn’t walk far, it took a lot more out of me than I realised. Not sure what you’ve got planned birth wise but you will still be physically recovering also which is something to bear in mind! Id def ask if you can let her know nearer the time, you’ve no real way of knowing in advance how you’ll feel leaving physically and emotionally until the time x

Post # 26
Member
927 posts
Busy bee

I think it’s totally fine if you don’t think you’ll feel up to it. I think your friend should understand. She has CHOSEN (or BMs have chosen for her) a weekend long, out of town bachelorette party, and not getting to have you there (and perhaps others who can’t get off work, can’t afford it, etc) may have to be something that goes along with that choice. 

But if you’re really keen to go I second seeing if you, DH and baby can all go and get your own accommodation. 

Post # 27
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

It’s not as simple as saying, “That’s what breast pumps are for!” Breastfeeding/pumping is hard work. I’ll echo a PP and say you not only have to pump as often as your baby feeds, but you need to find facilities in which to store your breastmilk and a way to tranport home. And also, you need to plan for keeping your pump parts clean/safe. Plus, if you don’t want to do formula, you need to create a cache. If it were me, I wouldn’t go.

Post # 28
Member
206 posts
Helper bee

My suggestion would be for you, DH and DD to book a motel near to the location of the getaway. Then you leave DD with DH at the hotel for periods of time (2 hours between feeds, or 4 hours with expressed milk to get them through..) and come and go, joining in the fun but still having DD close handy. This gives DH ‘alone time’ with DD, but also gives you time to enjoy with your friend.

A bridesmade of a friend did this 3 weeks after the birth of her baby, and she even bought her parents to help out as well (they rented a holiday house).  

Post # 29
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Bellagio, Las Vegas

If you’re exclusively breastfeeding, it’s going to be difficult to pump enough milk and feed the baby before you go on a trip. Also, you are going to be very attached to your newborn. If it were me, I probably would skip. I couldn’t have left my son when he was that little, as I was his sole source of nutrition at that age. 

Post # 30
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

There’s no way I wanted to be away from my newborn baby and both of them needed me for much more than food…

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