- 6 years ago
Hello ladies! Firstly, I’d just like to say a big congratulations to all of you who are engagedmama tried, and also those (like me!) who are anticipating that the big day is soon to be with their wonderful partners!
Im new to this site, and after much browsing am finally posting 🙂
I need some advice, please, as to how I deal with what should be one of the most exciting times of my life causing me much upset and worry.
Im 23, and my Boyfriend or Best Friend is 27, we have been together for 4 years this Saturday, and he is taking me out for a meal! I won’t go into details, but I’m pretty sure that he is going to ask and I am simply delighted and so excited. Our relationship has had its up and downs during the first year, but we have worked through these, and have never been happier. I love and trust him completely, and he does me. Perfect, right?
Unfortunately, our relationship has not been without criticism from outsiders. Namely my father and sister. They do not like my boyfriend, not for completely no reason, we had our difficulties, but he has proved himself to have changed and grown, and treats me like gold despite my sister picking at him all the time. Whilst I understand fully that my father wants the best for me, and thinks I could do better, I am dreading his reaction to an engagement. Why I find this so unfair, is because of my fathers history.
From the age of 11, I watched my parents argue and there was plenty of violence on my fathers part. He would try to turn me against my mother and her family, using the worst words and accusations. He would regularly get drunk and his anger polluted my childhood. My mother is still with him, and likes my boyfriend, though she does not stand up to my father. Since I reached adulthood, me and my father rarely speak, although we live 10 minutes away. He regularly sees my sister and her family, but stays away from me.
I feel like my father is taking out his views and paranoia onto my relationship with my boyfriend, I want a happy wedding with all my family there, but am terrified of his reaction. Any advice as to how to deal with this is really welcome, thanks all xx