Torn about my husbands ex.

posted 3 months ago in Relationships
Post # 346
Member
66 posts
Worker bee

 

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@anon8888:  I wish you all the luck in the world and happiness with someone who loves you as dearly as you will love him. In as much as we do have some control over our luck with the choices we make, I think you have your head screwed on well, you are no one’s doormat and you are going to be fine.

I am not so sure about your husband, because he is taking a huge risk with a woman who has already rejected him once. Whatever encouragement she is giving him currently, he’s an easy, safe man for her wounded or lonely heart and they are not yet on an equal footing in their messy relationship. I wonder how much of a long term prospect he’ll really be for her once she’s feeling herself again!

Post # 347
Member
2155 posts
Buzzing bee

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@anon8888:  

I’m so relieved to hear that you’re finding resolution and that you’ve gotten the answers you needed to feel confident about letting go and moving on. You deserve happiness. I believe you’ll find it.

Post # 348
Member
13655 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I’m glad you’re doing well and wish you all the best. Your attitude seems to be a very strong one, but don’t be surprised if other emotions come through as you process what’s happened over time. Don’t hesitate to reach out for support even if you’ve given people the idea that you’ve fully accepted this. 

You believe in fate, one’s “person” and what’s meant to be. I believe in more than one potential Mr. or Ms. Right, integrity and faithfulness. Your husband chose to open up the door to pursue this woman while married. He created his own destiny, it was not an inevitable force of nature. 

This is a very old story, not IMO some great, undeniable romance between star crossed lovers. If he can do it to you, he can do it to her. 

Post # 349
Member
6166 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

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@Tainui:  this. OP, you’re amazing and great things are waiting for you. As far as your husband, I really do believe that his “true love story” will blow up in his face and you’ll hear from him in the future. Good riddance. 

Post # 350
Member
200 posts
Helper bee

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@anon8888:  You sound like an incredible person with a huge heart. I wish that you heal over this and move on and you will find someone who will truly be your person and you theirs. I wish you lots of happiness in your life

Post # 351
Member
2384 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Well OP, you’ve dealt with more than anyone should have to over the last few months, but you sound really positive and I am glad you are doing okay. I hope this new city is an absolute blast for you!

Post # 352
Member
1503 posts
Bumble bee

I wish you all the happiness and love OP. I can tell you that women in your shoes ALWAYS find better and their true love story turns out amazing in the end. If your husband always kept you 2nd in his heart, you’ll see just how much more awesome your marriage is when you meet your man who puts you as his #1. You’ll look back on your STBX (soon to be ex) and think, “Omg what the hell was I thinking and putting up with so little?!” and thank god you were given an out.

I know you don’t want to be negative about your ex, but guys like him always end up in unhappiness. It won’t be like how he fantasizes about his ex. Right now she’s on the rebound and he’s giving her tons of ego-kibbles and feels comfortable like an old shoe. Once she gets her fill and feels strong again, she’ll grow “bored” and want more from life again. That’s the reason why they broke up the first time right?  She wanted her independence?  Women like her are always chasing an elusive dream outside of themselves because they aren’t completely happy inside and are trying to something external outside of themselves to fill that void.

Even if they get married and have children down the road, she’ll eventually begin to feel trapped and bored in her life with him. And that’s going to trigger your ex’s fears of abandonment/rejection and they’ll go through this similar dance again.

But you’ll be long gone and ridiculously happy with your life and your amazing relationship with your Mr. Right. You deserve SO much better than spending a lifetime with someone who’ll always place you 2nd. And now here’s your chance to have that and make your dreams of love come true.

Your STBX was NEVER your person. 

Post # 353
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2006 - Charleston, SC

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@anon8888:  Thank you for updating us. One of the reasons your story is heartbreaking is because both you and your husband seem to be good people, but people who cannot move forward in love given the deep realizations. Judging by your emotional intelligence and fairness, you seem to be a kind soul as well and I sincerely believe you will be in love again–one that is reciprocated in every capacity. Sending you love and well wishes on your new adventures, and hope you get to spend lots of outdoors time this spring in your new location. 

Post # 354
Member
2990 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

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@anon8888:  thanks for the update. I’m glad that you are moving to the place where you’ve always wanted to live. I think a fresh start will be great for you. I’m sorry you are having to go through this pain now but I know you will find your person someday!! 

Post # 355
Member
51 posts
Worker bee

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@anon8888: As heartbreaking your story is, I’m so glad you were able to find some light at the end of the tunnel. I wish you the best OP and I know that without a doubt you’ll end up with someone who will believe the sun rises and sets with you. You are inspiring to many and hope you find solace in the new town you’re moving into. 

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