Torn About Registry

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
7397 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Just don’t register. A simple reply of “thank you so much but we’ve already got every household item we could possibly need so we won’t be doing a registry” will be fine. Anyone who wants to give you a gift can figure something out, or just give money.

Even though I had a big wedding I initally wasn’t going to do a registry. Like you we’d been living together a long time (8 years) and owned our home togehter for 4 years. We had EVERYTHING we needed already. That being said our families were adament they wanted to host a shower. What I ended up doing was putting together a simple registry that included items that you find yourself having to replace over the years….new bedding, pillows, towels, kitchen items, etc. We honestly had no need for any big ticket items. At the least if you put together a registry, even if you really don’t share it with anyone, you’ll get a complection discount after your wedding. It’s a great time to add on any big items you want to purchase yourself just to get the discount! 

Post # 3
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

We are older as well and have everything we need. We did not register. My FH loves puns so on our invitation we wrote “the gift of your presence is our present.”

Post # 4
5012 posts
Bee Keeper

Are the same people telling you to register the same people invited to your wedding?  Or are they just nosy busybodies making assumptions?

You don’t need anything so you don’t register.  Simple as that.  If people ask, a simple “Oh, we really don’t need anything as our home has been set for years now” will suffice.  You had the right idea all along.

People manage to buy Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, retirement gifts, anniversary gifts, etc. without a registry.  They can manage a wedding gift if they are just so inclined and must get you something.  And since your wedding is small, these are probably people who know you and what you like pretty darn well.  It might take rubbing a couple of brain cells together and actually personalizing the gift instead of just going on auto-pilot and buying you a toaster from a list, but people do it all the time.  They got this.  And if all else fails and they lack the ability to think of a gift on their own, Every one knows that cash is awesome and they have the option of sticking some in a envelope.

Post # 5
462 posts
Helper bee

We are older as well and had a small wedding as well, and didn’t register.  It was easy, and no one had any trouble with it.

Post # 6
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

We didn’t register and it’s one of the things I would definitely do differently. We got so many gifts we  couldn’t use and had to exchange, which was a drag.

Now I always appreciate registries because I know we’re giving something the couple wants. I don’t care if the registry is a department store, a hardware store, a bookstore, a plant nursery, Amazon, or something unusual and out-of-the-way–it’s so reassuring to know the gift we give is desired and will be welcome. (One time we made a contribution to the couple’s private plane fuel fund. Usually we don’t give money, but they’d have had to ship a boxed gift across many states, and fuel for their plane was what they really wanted.)

Register–it’s a kindness. Register for bearded iris and amaryllis–who can afford to buy them for themselves?

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