(Closed) Torn About Which Person To Choose For BM

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Who do I choose?
    Old Friend : (4 votes)
    25 %
    Groomsman's Wife : (7 votes)
    44 %
    Cousin : (4 votes)
    25 %
    Overseas Friend : (1 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6065 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2012

    Wow that is a hard decision…I have to say I probably wouldn’t choose the friend from high school because negativity is the last thing Id want on my wedding day…

    You could ask your cousin how she feels about it and whether she’d be interested, and if not then you could ask the wife of FH’s groomsman. Thats probably what I would do.

    Is your instinct/gut leading you in a certain direction?

    Post # 5
    Member
    959 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    @GeekChic: I’m in a very similar situation as you…my fiance decided to add a 4th groomsman after we agreed on having only three. However, I’m not upset with his decision because he has decided to add my only brother (makes me happy). Picking my three bridesmaids wasn’t a problem because I already knew who I would pick (2 friends from high school and my sister-in-law) but I’m stumped on the fourth person. I have two people in mind (either my high school friend or cousin) but I’m holding off on making a decision. I decided to see how the relationship with these two individuals evolves in the next few months and once I have a year till the wedding, I will make a decision.

    Maybe you can also give yourself some time to think about your best options (cousin and groomsman’s wife) and see how things play out. You might bond with the groomsman’s wife if she does help you with your wedding preparations and a positive relationship comes out of it. You could also just ask your cousin to see if she would like to be part of your wedding. Maybe your cousin may feel happy/honored to be your bridesmaid and be willing to put her personal thoughts regarding weddings because of your close relationship.

    Good luck!!!

    Post # 6
    Member
    6065 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2012

    @GeekChic: Don’t pick the negative high school friend! Don’t get guilted into that- this is an important decision.

    Honestly, you probably can’t go wrong with either your cousin or the groomsman’s wife.

    Also, even if the groomsman’s wife has a lot of responsibilities lately and couldnt be a big help- you have 3 other BMs anyway, so thats enough help, right?

    Post # 8
    Member
    158 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I had this exact thing happen to me! I ended up adding a groomman’s wife since we double date with them a lot. It has worked out great so far! She has been super helpful and it’s made us closer friends. I have only known her for a 1 1/2 but don’t regret asking her at all. When we double I can talk to her about stuff and she is super excited about being asked 🙂

    Post # 9
    Member
    2788 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I’d ask your cousin first.  If she declines, then I would ask the groomsmen’s wife.

    Post # 10
    Member
    706 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I’d ask the groomsman’s wife! She sounds like a great addition to the group!

    Post # 11
    Member
    6065 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2012

    Tell us who you end up choosing! 🙂

    Post # 13
    Member
    6065 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2012

    @GeekChic: Sounds like a good choice!

    The topic ‘Torn About Which Person To Choose For BM’ is closed to new replies.

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