- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2015
Hi, everyone! First off, I’d like to inform you all that I’m new here, and this is my first post! As of December 10, 2013, I have been engaged, and I will be getting married in October of 2015 (one year as of yesterday, to be exact)! My fiancé and I have set a couple of things set in stone, such as the venue and photographer, but there are still a lot of decisions that have yet to be made. Just when I thought that my dress was going to be the most difficult part to figure out, we both have realized that it’s actually going to be the wedding party.
We’ve gone back and forth between whether we should even have a wedding party. If we do, we probably aren’t going to have a best man and maid of honor because, honestly, we don’t really have a best friend of the same sex who would fit that role (we are each other’s best friend), and besides, we wouldn’t want it to seem like we’re putting two of our wedding party members on higher pedestal than the others.
If we were to have a wedding party, my fiancé would ideally choose his two brothers and two of his cousins to be groomsmen since they all know each other. If I were to pick my ideal bridesmaids, they would be four friends I’ve known for a while and have grown close to in completely different ways, plus, they also all know each other, and they would be a blast to be around simultaneously. However, two of them are former friends who don’t really talk to each other because of something stupid that happened five years ago. To make things less confusing, let’s call them Person A and Person B.
Prior to five years ago, Person A and Person B were friends, and everything was just dandy. Once Person A began off and on dating this one guy, he decided he didn’t like that Person A was friends with Person B, so being the manipulative individual he is, he brainwashed Person A into thinking Person B was this horrible person who she should no longer be friends with. Of course, I was the middle person with all of this and tried not to pick sides, but needless to say, Person A and B eventually weren’t friends anymore.
I also became distant with Person A because of the guy (he and I have had our own history, which is a whole other story), but within the past year-and-a-half or so, we’ve been talking more and have even hung out. Interestingly enough, I don’t talk to Person B as much anymore, nor do we really hang out. Within this time period, Person A and Person B have had at least one run-in with each other in public. For example, they both went to the gym at the same time and texted me about seeing each other there. Just the other day, Person A told me she saw Person B’s sister at the store and did everything she could to avoid talking to or making eye contact with her. This was only the sister!
From the way Person B has talked to me about Person A in recent times, it doesn’t sound like she really has a problem with Person A. I think she’s just under the impression that Person A hates her and doesn’t want anything to do with her because of past drama. On the other hand, I’d like to think that’s the same with Person A, but I’m not entirely sure.
I have different options here:
1. Talk with Person A and Person B about them having to be around each other for one day and hope for the best that they agree to get along.
2. Stick with only three bridesmaids (excluding Person B) and have only three groomsmen, which would be my fiancé’s two brothers and one of his cousins.
3. Not have a wedding party at all to guarantee no drama will occur, yet I’d probably regret this decision at some point or another.
I’ve debated on whether I should have Person B in my party because she hasn’t been the greatest friend to me over the past couple of years, and she never let me play any sort of role in her wedding when I’ve known her longer than the person she married has. However, I’ve been friends with her for years and would feel guilty if didn’t do more than just invite her to my wedding. I also don’t want my fiancé to have to pick one cousin over the other by having three bridesmaids and groomsmen. What should I do?! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.