- 3 weeks ago
My fiancee and I live in a major city about a half hour to an hour away from most of my family but about 6 hours away from his. He’s lived here for about 12 years. His parents and sister visit regularly but most of his extended family has not. He is looking forward to his family coming and seeing where we live and why he loves the city so much.
Unfortunately, there aren’t many options within our city limits that are affordable and we found a place we love about 40 minutes outside. The place has a hotel on the property that is only available the night of the wedding, so it wouldn’t work for people staying a few nights. Aside from his family, we have a handful of friends that would be traveling in. There are many other hotels nearby (within 5-10 minutes) for people staying more than one night, but my fiancee doesn’t want his family “in a hotel in the middle of no where that can be anywhere.” I’m trying to be sensitive because his family is the one traveling and I understand his point. He would like to offer a hotel wiht a shuttle service in our city and do a welcome dinner the night before. This sounds stressful to me but I know it’s important to him. My worry is what if people don’t want to stay 40 minutes away? Many of our friends traveling in are from our city and would likely just want to stay at a hotel nearby.
Our second option is about 2 hours from where we live, but at a beach where we spend our summers. My fiancee is okay with this idea as well, since his family would get to see the beach town that we love. This sounds less stressful to me because it forces everyone (even most of my family and friends) to just stay at one hotel. The venue has a deal with a reasonably priced hotel that offers free shuttle service.
We love both places, but the first option is our preferred choice. It’s about 25% cheaper and in our opinion, a better value for the money (they offer more food at cocktail hour, and just more in general). The indoor spaces are beautiful even for photos. The second venue we love, but rain would seriously downgrade the quality of the photos. Part of the charm is that it’s right on the water and they have many beautiful outdoor spaces for photos. All of the wedding spaces are indoors, but you would walk outside through beautiful gardens to get in between the different spaces (ceremony, cocktail, and receoption). I know they say pick where you love and don’t worry about the weather, but it’s a bonus to have a place where you would have everything indoors either way.
I don’t know what to do. My fiancee says he doesn’t care if we pick the first place and have everyone stay in a hotel nearby, but I can tell he would prefer if they came to our home city. Logistically I just don’t know how to make it work and have him get what he wants without seriously complicating everything. I am leanings towards just saying let’s do the second place to make it easier. Should we really pick our second place just because it makes logistics easier even though the first is more affordable and our preferred choice? Does anyone have any advice?