(Closed) Torn on a big decision

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Some days I want to run in the forest myself!!! I think it’s a great idea and doesn’t sound like it conflicts with family either. I say DO IT!

Post # 4
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We had a courthouse ceremony, and it was a great decision. We saved a lot of money, and neither one of us feel like we missed out on anything. I was like you about not dreaming about a wedding, liking being the center of attention, etc. I think a wedding would have been a lot of time, money, and frustration that we would have regretted down the road. We also discussed having a vow renewal ceremony if we ever grew to regret our decision, but I really don’t see that happening. It sounds like a small ceremony would be a great, logical option for you that would allow you to put extra money towards your home. In my experience, people rarely regret making rational decisions, so I think it would be strong decision.

Post # 5
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I had a wedding and looking back, I really wish I had eloped. It would have been a lot more romantic and meaningful and we would have been able to spend money on just the things that were important to us.

Post # 6
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m having tiny. I wanted under 40 but we have 55 now *sigh*. Anyways, ideally I would have had close family and friends only and a quaint ceremony and reception. I have never dreamed about anythng than the “I do” bit that comes with weddings!

Will I regret it? Hell no 🙂

Post # 7
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

you sound like we did shortly before we decided to elope – we wanted to be married but without the wedding and have never regreted it for a second. 

Post # 8
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@irishphoenix:  if both parties are on board by all means elope and save the $ for something else–you won’t regret it. Believe me, especially when you’re picking up the tab yourselves planning a wedding is extremely stressful—and not necessary for a happy marriage at all! You could use a fraction of the $ you would have spent and have an amazing honeymoon too

Post # 9
3969 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I would love a small intimate ceremony/reception… but unfortunately I don’t think So would be ok with it 🙁 To his family, every wedding is a big affair/large family event, and I think they would be upset. Sigh.

Post # 10
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

We just married on 3/31 in a very small and intimate ceremony with our parents, children and my brother/ sis in law.  It was an AWESOME choice and I don’t regret it one bit!!!  At the end on May, we will have a reception with 50 family and I get to wear my dress again!

Post # 12
7992 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

Interestingly, I posted on something similar a second ago, where I said that I chose to buy a house first and then save for a wedding later. I say that if you’re family are fine with it, a smaller wedding and a house makes so much sense!

There’s no better start to a marriage than financial security, especially seeing as that is one of the main issues people fight (and divorce) over!

Post # 13
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@irishphoenix:  You sound just like me! We were planning a bigger wedding for next fall and last week we decided to do an immediate family only ceremony and dinner. I couldnt see spending all that money on one day. I never dreamed of my wedding and nori don’t like all eyes on me. Someone told me to do what we want to do and not what others want you to do. In the end it’s all about being married and not the party. We are planning to have a celebration a few months later with all our friends. 

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