Torn on elopement, not sure what I want

posted 7 months ago in Elopement
Post # 2
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Have your elopment and a fantastic honeymoon! Your friends will see you when they see you- they made their own plans, and you should make your own and do what makes you happy. This is YOUR time 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

birefringence :  you’d enjoy them a whole lot more, too!! 

Post # 7
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 1995

Go with your gut.  Elope.  Reason #1 above is reason enough.  I know from experience. 

Post # 8
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

I eloped and now I’m in full support of people eloping. I’ve just finished a blog post on it, that pretty much covers all the things you are worried about. They were the same reason I eloped. It was wonderful! Just do what you want for your wedding day, what YOU want, not what will make other people happy. Then just decide to enjoy it and not regret it.

Post # 9
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

Seriously, do what you both want to do. It’s your wedding and marriage. You can have a party sometime after to celebrate with everyone. 

Post # 10
Member
1047 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

You don’t need to make this decision now, either!

Post # 13
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

I’m not here to tell you what you have to do, but all the reasons you listed don’t necessarily need to result in eloping and seem to me like normal fears concerning a wedding. Just wanted to share some insights, as I had similar concerns before the wedding.

I myself normally don’t like to be in a big group of people and husbands family seemed to have sooo many expectations and ideas, because of their culture. I also worried about the fact, that some of our friends are just really different and the part of family from the father’s side of my husband is very different to the family from his mother’s side and normally.

But by seating them together within their family or even persons unknown to them, everything went well. You don’t have to be a social engineer, they are adults, they can decide if they want to engage with someone they don’t know or not. No need for you to be there and “look after” them.

On the day of, I wasn’t anxious about all the persons, as they were either in small groups during the cocktail hours, I was just going from one group to another and while they were still seated at their tables as well. It was nothing like when 10 of my friends get together at a friends place. We invite 70 persons and it gave me the time to welcome everyone during the cocktail hour and visit/talk to them at their tables and then enjoy dancing with them.

I didn’t feel the spotlight really that much on me either. I mean everyone is there for you, but it’s not like everyone is just staring at you like you were on a stage or walking on a runway. The guests were chatting, engaging with other persons etc. However, we didn’t do a father daughter dance or a first dance, because that would have freaked me out. lol

Post # 15
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

You don’t have to decide yet, there is time. If you decide to elope check out SimplyEloped. 

I played with a few scenarios (aka agonized over the same thing) for a couple months. 

I considered eloping just the two of us and our two children, a small gathering of only immediate family and a restaurant reception, a small destination wedding and larger reception at home, or a large local wedding. 

I decided on the large local wedding. It came down to the right venue, once I found it, I knew. I couldn’t really see us in some of the other scenarios.

The main thing for me, after debating the pros and cons obsessively for a couple months, was that I didn’t want to look back and feel like I missed out on having a wedding. I found a wonderful officiant who helped us tailor the vows so perfectly. 

It’s really up to you and your partner on what feels right and will be most fun for you. Do you want a ceremony just the two of you and an intimate moment that you’ll cherish forever? Or do you want to share that moment with family and friends and celebrate that union with good drinks, good food, and good company?

I hope it comes to you! Wedding planning is so stressful sometimes.

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